Can you wear black to a wedding?

Treevo

Person_one wrote: »

Ugh, I hate it when couples think they can dictate what their guests wear to the wedding. They can choose the bridesmaid dresses but that's only because they pay for them too!

What are you, a welcomed guest or an extra in their big production?

Normally I'd agree but you're hardly forced to attend someone else's wedding.

lostinrates

*zippy* wrote: »

Thanks for tights advice x

I didn't do bad, raided my Mother's wardrobe and got a bolero and belt, natural tights in Asda, black clutch bag in monsoon sale. I couldn't have the planned shoes in Clark's as they were slipping off so got these, see they have awful reviews though and they aren't as comfortable now I'm wearing them around the house :undecided

http://www.clarks.co.uk/p/20352260

I really like these, but they didn't have them in our small store, so I may order so I can choose

http://www.clarks.co.uk/p/20352888

Tights and heels (sigh). Its very 'poor taste' not to wear tights, though lots of women my age just dispensed with them in summer to pur mother's horror) but the problem with vertiginous heels is that the foot slips out of them.

You have a couple of choices.

1. Spray your legs instead of wearing tights. Only for the young and flawless of limb.

2. Spray hair spray in your shoes. Helps a bit.

3. Put tit tape on the bottom of your tights...make sure they are properly pulled up with no ankle wrinkles first, (I hate this......it makes my feet feel weird)

4. Walk slowly. (This is my favourite...I am also a big kicker off of shoes, so I go with hair spay and slow walk)

5. Make sure your shoes fit. Buy your heels at the end of the day, when your feet are a little swollen from use, but they are not walking boots. You don't need room for thick socks in them. They should fit, there shouldn't be much room, especially as gravity pulls one down into the toe area ( and causes all that damage to our toes and bunions down there)

6. Some insoles or party feet or heel grips might help. And wear them in the week you buy them so they fit YOUR foot, once they for your feet and the shape of them they are more likely to stay on than when they are the fresh from the factory last shape.

prin

I have been a weekend wedding registrar for 10 years so I have seen most everything last Saturday I was at quite a posh wedding one guest who was also a bigger girl turned up in black leggings and a knee length royal blue tee shirt dress and some white shoes akin to the free hotel slippers you get, I think it's all about making an effort, nothing is taboo black even white is fine as long as it is suitable a shift dress and jacket rather than floaty number!

aliasojo

Word of warning to anyone who is thinking of ordering from Fifty Plus/Marisota/JD Williams (they're the same company) after seeing dresses on this thread....their customer service is dire.

After the huge muck up they made earlier which meant I wasn't getting the items I needed urgently and had paid next day delivery for (they took my order by phone, I impressed upon them the time factor, made sure next day delivery was available, they confirmed the order by email then didn't bother telling me I wasn't getting the items after all until I phoned in to find out where they were).....they have now refunded another order to my account that was made at the same time...when it was paid for by credit card!

My account with them is now in credit to the tune of £350 and surprise surprise the bank holiday weekend means there will be a hold up in them returning the funds to the credit card.

Shocking customer service. The minute this is sorted out, the accounts will be closed.

Be warned.

NButler

I think wearing black at an English wedding is definitely not okay. The tradition that black is worn to a funeral still applies, so this really is rude to the bride and groom. The only exception is if they have expressly said that it's okay with them (some people don't mind these days - please be courteous and find out). I can't imagine a good reason to wear black to a wedding when there are plenty of other darkish colours to wear if light or bright colours will really not work for you.

A wedding is the bride and grooms day - their wishes should always be the priority. (This doesn't apply to the original poster but I think it's worth saying...) If a guest is more concerned about how they look than how the bride and groom feel, I'd actually wonder why they want to be at their wedding? A wedding isn't primarily an opportunity to dress up / wear anything you like and think looks good, without thought to whether it could make the bride and groom unhappy. It's an occasion to celebrate the bride and groom - I'll say it again: it's about them primarily so their wishes are the key here. Dressing in a way that could make them unhappy is disrespecting them on their wedding day! Ouch.

In general, no black, or white and keep it classy - it's a wedding after all. Ladies, of course, you can show everything off at a club if that's what you're looking for

*zippy*

Girls try your tights before the day, I've just battle to get the things on despite buying a size larger. I'm going to have to wear them feeling like a sausage ready to burst :cool:

paulineb_2

NButler wrote: »

I think wearing black at an English wedding is definitely not okay. The tradition that black is worn to a funeral still applies, so this really is rude to the bride and groom. The only exception is if they have expressly said that it's okay with them (some people don't mind these days - please be courteous and find out). I can't imagine a good reason to wear black to a wedding when there are plenty of other darkish colours to wear if light or bright colours will really not work for you.

A wedding is the bride and grooms day - their wishes should always be the priority. (This doesn't apply to the original poster but I think it's worth saying...) If a guest is more concerned about how they look than how the bride and groom feel, I'd actually wonder why they want to be at their wedding? A wedding isn't primarily an opportunity to dress up / wear anything you like and think looks good, without thought to whether it could make the bride and groom unhappy. It's an occasion to celebrate the bride and groom - I'll say it again: it's about them primarily so their wishes are the key here. Dressing in a way that could make them unhappy is disrespecting them on their wedding day! Ouch.

In general, no black, or white and keep it classy - it's a wedding after all. Ladies, of course, you can show everything off at a club if that's what you're looking for

Honestly, if I ever get married people can dress in bin bags for all I care. Or tutus. Seriously getting married is about spending the rest of your life with someone, not a fashion parade. Its just buying into all the hype about people having to spend a fortune on weddings and having to wear certain colours. Yes black is for funerals but people wear black all the time. At Christmas out come the little black dresses, its not just associated with funerals, its associated with other things as well or else shops would never sell any clothing that is black.

Its a sad day when people get upset at the sight of a black or white dress.

aliasojo

NButler wrote: »

I think wearing black at an English wedding is definitely not okay. The tradition that black is worn to a funeral still applies, so this really is rude to the bride and groom.

Do you mind if I ask if you are of the older generation?

I think it's quite unusual to feel it's 'really rude' to the bride and groom to wear black and I just wondered if this was perhaps more the case years ago?

jellyhead

I didn't care what people wore to my wedding. I even told a couple of the more awkward boys that they could wear jeans and trainers if they wanted to. I just wanted people to come and celebrate with us.

I suppose some people might think that wearing full black in a mourning way might signal your displeasure at the marriage, but wouldn't most people accessorize a black dress colourfully so it was obvious that they weren't in mourning.

What about back when people only had their Sunday best. Did they have separate 'best' for funerals or simply wear their best outfit for all church occasions?

I honestly couldn't tell you whether most of my guests wore full black or not. I suspect that lots of them did, and my mother was wearing black lace but it was 'weddingy' if that makes sense.

jellyhead

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_is_the_origin_of_wearing_black_to_funerals&altQ=Why_do_maori_wear_black_at_funerals#page3

This is interesting