Teenagers and Menstruation Advice Needed

keystone

Thread creep!

claire16c

peachyprice wrote: »

1999-2000? I thought you were talking about back in the 50's or 60's. Sorry, that is not a normal circle of people your ex was mixing with.

I'm a lot older that that and lost my virginity in the early 80's, there was no talk even then of proving you were a virgin by bleeding, that's archaic and something people of my mother's generation believed.

As for lack of sex education? Really? I take it this wasn't in mainland UK, because sex education in 1999-2000 was not that far removed as now with the exception of the aids and std info they get now. Certainly period info was the same in the 80's 90's and 2000.

We learnt about stds in year 9 which for me would have been 1998 I think?

Agree with everything else you said.

I am 29 & can't get on with tampons without an applicator!

My periods were about 7 days long, heavy and painful from the very first one!

Birdie85

How ridiculous atrixblue's comments are! I used tampons before my first time and it made no difference to how I felt about it! There are loads of ways to break your hymen before having sex for the first time anyway, some girls can do it riding a horse FGS. I highly doubt this stupid 'taboo' you're talking about exists anymore (if it ever truly did...), it isn't the 1800's when girls would have to show bloodied sheets on their wedding night to prove that they were pure!

Whilst the Mooncup is great, I wouldn't be suggesting it for a 13 year old. You have to be really comfortable with your body to use it and thinking back to when I was a tennager, I wouldn't have been ready to use something like that until I was in my late teens.

Give her a selection box of pads and tampons, she may feel strange about trying tampons at first but looking back, I don't know how or why I put up with towels for so long before switching! I felt so unclean all the time and there was the constant worry of leakage, even having to sleep in a certain position for fear of leaking blood all over the mattress. I'd recommend using Tampax Compac or Pearl. Pearl are the best IMO as the applicator is really smooth (buy the lightest flow ones as they're smaller). Also add painkillers and chocolate to that selection box!

Have a great holiday with your DD, the bleeding won't last for very long (4 days max I'd guess) so just make sure that the first few days are more sightseeing days rather than pool days.

neverdespairgirl

OP, I think you're a great Dad, and all credit to both you and your ex for bringing up you daughter so sensibly, and for your DD, so that she can talk to you about it.

A lot of teenage girls have very light (and irregular) periods when they first start, so with any luck, it won't take up too much of your holiday.

I didn't start using tampons for a year or two after I started my periods, and I definitely think a moon cup is something that needs to wait until a girl feels a lot more comfortable with the whole process and her own body.

Hope you have a great holiday.

FBaby

I think the lesson to learn from this is anticipation. No offense but at 13, it was likely to happen anytime. I am not super close to my ex, but this is something we had discussed. There had been signed, I had therefore told him that it could happen at anytime and therefore to insure he had something available for her if it did whilst she was with her. Sure enough, that is exactly what happened. He emailed me to let me know. He knew enough to support her, but more importantly she and I had the full discussion about what to do when it happened, so she really wasn't phased at all, just a bit excited if anything.

The problem with swimming hols is common. Just got back from ours and sure enough DD started half way. We had discussed her using tampons and had bought some, but in the end, she wasn't prepared to give it a try, despite being menstruated now for the year. It was her choice, but then she is not that keen on water anyway.

Nothing wrong at all coming her for advice though, in the end, all that matter is that OP's daughter felt she could discuss it with her dad and that he didn't freak out and was able to help.

pigpen

I have a selection of pads and tampons (with and without applicators.. with is definitely more popular) and cups and I am more than happy for my daughters to use whatever they feel comfortable with.

My oldest daughter (19) still prefers pads, my 16 y/o tampons and we are just waiting on my 12.5 year old starting.. she had medical issues in that dept so we are keeping a distant watchful eye.

The thing we did discuss with tampons was the need for more regular changing and hygiene. and also that while learning to use them if they needed to take them out as they were uncomfortable then to replace with a fresh one not the same one.

2 of my sisters have never used a pad and went straight to tampons from day one.. one of them shouted our brother and sent him to the shop for some when she started lol.

Informing yourself is a good way to have more open conversations with your daughter.

Just so pleased you aren't like my dad

princessdon

It reads to me like OP wanted advice on whether a tampon was appropriate for her first period.

As a woman I'd probably have some questions on this as remembering back all those years ago I think I didn't start using until older and have vague memories of not being entirely sure I had done so correctly. I think if I was his daughter I would want female view on this.

I think my OH would not be comfortable discussing how to insert a tampon and for sure wouldn't know how to relax the muscles, importance of hygiene and other technical hints.

themull1

My daughter is 14 and has really heavy periods - like me, and she wont use tampons yet, and i use tampons, but would never use a moon cup, the thought of the mess is awful!

Poppy9

themull1 wrote: »

My daughter is 14 and has really heavy periods - like me, and she wont use tampons yet, and i use tampons, but would never use a moon cup, the thought of the mess is awful!

I was recommended Quest Agnus Castus tablets in my twenties to help with heavy periods and found them dramatically reduced flow. I took them through till my mid 40s and wish I had known of them in my teens.

building_with_lego

themull1 wrote: »

My daughter is 14 and has really heavy periods - like me, and she wont use tampons yet, and i use tampons, but would never use a moon cup, the thought of the mess is awful!

Way less mess with my cup than the tampons I used to use. I think the leap from pads to cup is a big one but the step from tampons to cup is small. For heavy days the cup is unspeakably wonderful; no running off every hour (or less!) to change, and none of that discomfort when you remove a tampon. My period cramps reduced and my periods shortened.

Don't be afraid! It may just change your life for a few days