Issues with DH (again)

notanewuser

poet123 wrote: »

Do you have any upmarket hair salons nearby who have a Trichologist? This happened to a friend of mine and she got a specialist shampoo and treatment plan which did work.

In view of my digestive issues recently I want thyroid, hormone and anaemia checks as well (which no doubt I'll need a seperate appointment with the practice nurse for). But I'll bear this in mind. Thank you.

notanewuser

Talked to my friends this week - it's amazing how stressed they all are too. We've all been trying to help each other work out what we need this week. It's been great.

Found a new bald patch.

Managed to get an emergency appointment for this morning. An hour and a half's wait for a 3 minute appointment where the GP looked at my head and said that I needed blood tests for anaemia, thyroid, hormone levels and coeliac disease. Couldn't offer any further advice "until we know what's causing it".

Have to see a nurse for the blood tests and there's a 2 week wait. ((Sigh))

DH sent flowers this week, appropo of nothing, so i thought he might be beginning to understand. Nope. He's been going on all night asking why my life is "so stressful" and how it "really shouldn't be". Back to square 1 I guess. . Feel like binning the flowers.

lostinrates

Don't bin the flowers. Accept them for want they are.

Sorry about the new bald patch.

I don't think life sounds easy, but, and please know this is not written to rile, I do think your posts often convey f stress and....well, antagony .....possibly poorly focused or managed stress. Do you think, regardless of any health problem which CERTAINLY needs resolving, that perhaps some sort of refocus of priorities or even stress management addressing professionally might be something to consider?

I really hope the health things get rushed. Especially frustrating as I was at an NHs clinic where a lit of other patients were coliacs and clinic was not well attended.

notanewuser

lostinrates wrote: »

Don't bin the flowers. Accept them for want they are.

Sorry about the new bald patch.

I don't think life sounds easy, but, and please know this is not written to rile, I do think your posts often convey f stress and....well, antagony .....possibly poorly focused or managed stress. Do you think, regardless of any health problem which CERTAINLY needs resolving, that perhaps some sort of refocus of priorities or even stress management addressing professionally might be something to consider?

I really hope the health things get rushed. Especially frustrating as I was at an NHs clinic where a lit of other patients were coliacs and clinic was not well attended.

I honestly don't know anymore. Everything seems off - like I don't know myself. Had an image in my mind while driving earlier on of all my blood seeping out of my wrists and a sense of calm watching it. Never thought anything like that before. Feel like I'm losing my marbles.

Funky_Bold_Ribena

I'd probably spend a week texting him each and every time you start a new task, whether it is child or work or house based. See how long he lasts before he loses it with you.

notanewuser

Funky_Bold_Ribena wrote: »

I'd probably spend a week texting him each and every time you start a new task, whether it is child or work or house based. See how long he lasts before he loses it with you.

I don't know if I can be bothered fighting anymore.

notanewuser

He's changing his mind about fairly major things i thought we had agreed on too - holiday plans, home improvements etc. I don't feel any togetherness at the moment.

paulineb_2

notanewuser wrote: »

Talked to my friends this week - it's amazing how stressed they all are too. We've all been trying to help each other work out what we need this week. It's been great.

Found a new bald patch.

Managed to get an emergency appointment for this morning. An hour and a half's wait for a 3 minute appointment where the GP looked at my head and said that I needed blood tests for anaemia, thyroid, hormone levels and coeliac disease. Couldn't offer any further advice "until we know what's causing it".

Have to see a nurse for the blood tests and there's a 2 week wait. ((Sigh))

DH sent flowers this week, appropo of nothing, so i thought he might be beginning to understand. Nope. He's been going on all night asking why my life is "so stressful" and how it "really shouldn't be". Back to square 1 I guess. . Feel like binning the flowers.

Perhaps hes concerned and hes not putting it the right way.

I dont have kids, but I suffered from anxiety/stress for a long time due to work and it was horrible. There was nothing I could do to switch it off, people used to think, well after 5pm you'll be ok, it wasnt ok, it affected my entire life, my working conditions were awful.

I had the support of my family but very unsupportive GPs and that remains to this date

And I think sometimes, when you are going through stuff thats tough your body just copes with it. I remember speaking to someone at work who had come down to see me when things were at their worst and she told someone later I looked grey and ill, I didnt think I was.

Its sometimes when you stop your body goes, hold on a minute.

I dont know what practical advice to give, only that what works for me, wont work for someone else. I also suffered from insomnia for over 20 years and its only in the last 12 months that thats been better.

I do think on reading your posts that something has to give. If you can put any supports in place to make your life easier, do it. Whether it interferes with your usual routine or not. And if you arent managing or you feel overloaded, then speak up, you arent superwoman.

Theres no point in doing 100 things if you end up feeling tired, worn out, resentful. The world wont stop turning.

What smacked a massive dose of reality into me was losing my gran 3 years ago, she had a massive stroke, never regained consciousness and died ten days later. We buried her the day before Christmas Eve. And then just as we were getting on our feet, my family had the year from hell in 2012, I really knew what stress was then.

But its over. And sometimes the things that seem really important, arent so important. If you arent getting enough support, make it clear.

If you dont want to go on these holidays to see family where you feel like you arent treated well, then dont go.

We only get one life and it certainly doesnt need to be all unicorns and sunshine and rainbows, but for me certainly, the stuff that seemed the end of the world to me 3 years ago doesnt now

I remember being upset about something ridiculous not long after my gran died and my mum said to me, just be happy you are alive.

Wise words. Im not trying to minimalise anything you are going through, Im just saying I know how stress affects people, it almost ruined my life, if I could go back and do a lot of things differently, I would.

And number 1 on that list would be looking after myself better.

Funky_Bold_Ribena

notanewuser wrote: »

He's changing his mind about fairly major things i thought we had agreed on too - holiday plans, home improvements etc. I don't feel any togetherness at the moment.

It's nice he has had the time to think about this stuff. Perhaps you need to leave him with the kid for a few days and get some head space.

paulineb_2

notanewuser wrote: »

I honestly don't know anymore. Everything seems off - like I don't know myself. Had an image in my mind while driving earlier on of all my blood seeping out of my wrists and a sense of calm watching it. Never thought anything like that before. Feel like I'm losing my marbles.

Have you ever thought you might be suffering from depression?

You arent losing your mind if you have dark or morbid thoughts but clearly things arent right for you just now

All I can say is, you might not think you have the power to change any of this, but you have more than you realise.

You dont have to stay and put up with things the way they are you know.

Ive no idea whether you are generally happy in your marriage or not, but of course its not an ideal situation for the pair of you, being separated for long periods of time.

But if you feel like this for weeks and months at a time, which you might end up doing, you just dont know, I do think you need to speak to someone about it, even the offloading might make you feel better.