Neighbours from Hell

tesuhoha

shegirl wrote: »

Oh for heavens sake.

1. If they were making that much noise, normally and politely saying 'please quieter down/turn the music down' would not have been heard.Would it.

2. It does not matter that it was the second night.It is one night out of ALL the nights they have lived there!

3. The parents have NOT been rude or abusive.A visitor of the parents shouted one 'abusive' comment,while plastered,on one occasion.

I don't know. Maybe they saw her beckoning and killed the noise while she spoke.

Okay, maybe they haven't been abusive but the woman feels vulnerable. They are in a really bad position I know but so is she, not because of the disabled child. The real reason is that she feels threatened by the family and feels that things are out of control. That is my interpretation of it anyway.

carefullycautious

I think if the op has managed to read through all of this thread she is fast asleep by now.

:rotfl:

tesuhoha

poet123 wrote: »

Who has done that?

I haven't seen anyone do that, and yes, you are correct I think most of us would like to think we would have intervened, and perhaps they did tell him about it out of the OP's earshot, who knows? Yes, many of us would have gone round and apologised too but they didn't. They were remiss, and impolite.

I don't think they are guilty of much more than the above though or the OP would surely have mentioned it.

I'm glad you feel that way because I think it is a pretty horrible thing for someone who just wants a quiet life to be spoken to like that.

As for the child, I think that she should be more tolerant towards him/her.

tesuhoha

shegirl wrote: »

Nobody is defending it,just pointing out that it's not the huge giant enormous thing some people are making of it

Well, I was pointing out that it is to her because she lives alone and the imagination can work overtime late at night.

poet123

tesuhoha wrote: »

I don't know. Maybe they saw her beckoning and killed the noise while she spoke.

Okay, maybe they haven't been abusive but the woman feels vulnerable. They are in a really bad position I know but so is she, not because of the disabled child. The real reason is that she feels threatened by the family and feels that things are out of control. That is my interpretation of it anyway.

Mine is slightly different I am afraid and as we can only go on gut feel and the OP neither of us knows who is correct.

Mine is that she was annoyed that a family with a disabled child had moved in to a 1 bed flat and on the second night decided to make it known, she got more than she bargained for (no excuses for that) That, coupled with her own issues (grief, anxiety) means that she feels that regardless of the fact that the child cannot help his condition and that the parents cannot help how that condition manifests, she doesn't care, and doesn't see why she should have to be compassionate or care. So, she tried to garner support to get them evicted.....which failed because the other neighbours wouldn't support her (which should tell us something)

Thwarted, she came on here to write an emotive thread title and an OP full of vitriol to a seven year old severely disabled child. Which is why she got the reaction she did.

Despite all the above I do feel sorry for her, her own grief and anxiety must be colouring this for her and I don't doubt she feels genuinely upset by what has happened. The reality is though that buying a one bed flat above another with a garden you have to be realistic about the chances of either an animal or a child moving in downstairs. Even without that flats are not the place for those with too many sensitivities I wouldn't have thought.

tesuhoha

carefullycautious wrote: »

I think if the op has managed to read through all of this thread she is fast asleep by now.

:rotfl:

She is long gone, after starting an almighty argument.

coolcait

Wow. Over 300 posts - very few of which have actually been made by the OP - and it's still going.

I know that there was a clean-up of the thread, and that can make it hard to follow. Still, I can only see four posts by the OP, plus one which has been quoted, but doesn't appear when you check 'All posts by cupcake4'.

I put it down as a 'probable troll thread' early on, given a number of factors. The above tends to reinforce that view. But it's an interesting discussion in its own right, so let's go with it.

The OP has been roundly criticised for some of her comments and behaviours (I don't know the OP's gender, so all references to 'she' or 'her' may also be read as 'he', 'his' or 'him' depending on context). Maybe these criticisms refer to posts which have been removed. Maybe they're based on the way people have interpreted what the OP has said in the posts which are still here.

For example, the posts which talk about the OP shouting at her new neighbours from her balcony. Was that in a deleted post? Because the first post in the thread says "Thetenant was drinking outside with a friend on the 2nd night after they had movedin and when I very politely asked if they could keep the noise down..."

That could mean that the OP called/shouted/bellowed down from her balcony. It could mean that she went round to the door. If she was calling down from the balcony, she might have attracted their attention first, so that they could turn the noise down first in order to hear her polite request for them to keep the noise down.

From the information given, we simply don't know. Nor do we know whether 'the tenant' who was outside with the abusive friend was the mum or the dad. Or whether the OP is 'the tenant' as shorthand for 'the couple'. Who may even be a same sex couple, for all we know from the information we have.

We don't know what time of day this incident took place, but that has still been a topic of discussion.

We don't know if the couple living downstairs are doing everything they possibly can give their child the physical and emotional care and support which he needs. Or if they simply leave him to his own devices, and some of his noises are a result of him being in genuine - avoidable - distress rather than the involuntary sounds which most people are imagining.

Is building a gazebo on the balcony the action of loving, caring parents, who want their child to benefit from being in the fresh air etc. Or is it the action of parents who want their disabled child out from under their feet. We don't know.

There are in my view three very clear misrepresentations of the OP on this thread:

i) The suggestion that she call the disabled child 'it'. In the context of the post which was quoted, I read 'it' as referring to the noise.

ii) the suggestion that she has called the child an animal. Re-reading the first post on the thread, the OP describes the noises as animal-like, and one of the descriptions was actually made by another neighbour. The OP is simply quoting it.

iii) the suggestion that the OP is gathering up a posse of neighbours. The first post says that another neighbour described the noises as being "like a predatory animal". We don't know if that neighbour had suggested to the OP that they both go and see the letting agent, or if that was the OP's idea. We do know that the letting agent raised the spectre of the neighbours 'ganging up' on the family. It may be that the letting agent has had no problems with the family in the past seven years. It may be that the letting agent is desperate to keep the family in that flat for a year, so that they can pick up their fee. We don't know.

Now, if we take this thread at face value, someone has told us that she is hearing distressing noises from her neighbour's disabled child. OK, her reason for posting is that the noises are upsetting her, rather than concern for the child.

Yet, the overwhelming message from this thread is that the noises are normal, and how dare she even think about reporting any concerns.

I'm all for having the disabled live in the community, as long as they are getting the appropriate support. Part of that support, IMO, is that neighbours, teachers and anyone else around the disabled person feels able to report any concerns they have - especially about the disabled person's wellbeing - without being vilified.

Yes, the reference to 'teachers' ws based on the fact that I read too much about the Daniel Pelka case - where I suspect that there's a risk that professionals may have been hesitant to act because of the 'eating disorder' (potential disability?) argument, and the 'different cultural background' status of the family.

coolcait

shegirl wrote: »

Nobody is defending it,just pointing out that it's not the huge giant enormous thing some people are making of it

Devil's advocate...

If we describe something as 'not the huge giant enormous thing some people are making of it', that may be seen as minimising the incident.

That can come across as defending the behaviour which is described as 'not the huge giant enormous thing some people are making of it'.

There's also the point about perception. So, while one perosn might not be fazed by the incident described, others will be badly affected by it.

Devil's advocate with a death wish ... :eek::cool:;)

'not the huge giant enormous thing some people are making of it' - a possible description of the outrage which has been expressed over the description of noises, not a person?

poet123

I don't disagree with much you have written.

Except that at no time did the OP suggest that her issue with the noises stemmed from concern, but rather from the fact that they disturbed her peace greatly, and that she didn't see why she should either have to put up with them or try to do anything to help herself.

Tbh, if that had been me I would have been concerned that the noises may signify something untoward and been a bit nosy.

Nicki

Sorry coolcait but though you are usually sensible, you are stretching thins here.

Where has the OP said or hinted the child is being abused or ill treated? Where has she said she has or wants to raise concerns to any authority about the child's well being and welfare?

What she HAS said and more than once is that the child's noises disturb and upset her and that she has been to the letting agents to complain and the anti social behaviour team and the police. These are punitive steps designed to have the family moved out of their home and there is no element of protecting the child's welfare