Neighbours from Hell

poet123

None of that makes sense, especially in response to a poster telling you she doesn't have a disabled child.

Nicki

It's been an eye opener for me too in that a lot of posters, even in these days where cuts in public services have been over the news for the last 3 years, believe that families with disabled children are financially better off than others and have oodles of support services and access to preferential treatment for housing etc. No wonder we do get a backlash and so many people are so unsympathetic to any difficulties caused by the situation. It seems we are right up there with asylum seekers in the eyes of some, in terms of bagging resources and housing (not that I personally think that of asylum seekers either)

poet123

No, I am not blinded to the argument. I have said I sympathise to a degree with the OP, although I do think that she set the tone for the relationship on the second night they lived there by shouting off her balcony.

I personally would have bitten my tongue at that juncture (even assuming the noise level was not being exaggerated) and seen how things progressed. And, regardless, I wouldn't have shouted down in what could be construed a confrontational manner, I would have gone round the next day and spoken to them politely.

All that aside though, short of gagging the child what are the parents supposed to do?

paulineb_2

Ive got no issues with asylum seekers, because my family have friends who did seek asylum, we used to visit them in detention centres and I can assure people, my friend didnt leave detention to fancy houses, or even any houses or lots of benefits

I try and think before I believe the daily mail on a lot of issues

I also dont have issues with anyone who has a kid with disabilities, what I do have issues with are rude, drunken anti social neighbours

Ive put up with a lot in my time here, Ive ended up on anti depressants due to neighbours behaviour and for people saying move, where to exactly?

When I asked for a transfer I got offered somewhere even worse and not everyone has the means to buy somewhere

Lets not generalise. This issue seems to be as much about the family and the company they keep and not just the disabled child

And some of the comments on here directed at the OP have been less than pleasant, massive jumping to conclusions, lets take a step back before we condemn someone who is clearly upset

poet123

The source of the noise is the crux of the matter though. They are not being anti social by playing loud music, doing DIY at all hours, rowing or anything else that could be construed as a choice. They have a disabled child who makes involuntary noises.

So, the source of the noise is something that cannot be controlled by anyone, so I ask again what is it that you and the OP expect the parents to do to be seen to be considerate of their neighbours? Practically, what can they do?

supersaver2

poet123 wrote: »

No, I am not blinded to the argument. I have said I sympathise to a degree with the OP, although I do think that she set the tone for the relationship on the second night they lived there by shouting off her balcony.

I personally would have bitten my tongue at that juncture (even assuming the noise level was not being exaggerated) and seen how things progressed. And, regardless, I wouldn't have shouted down in what could be construed a confrontational manner, I would have gone round the next day and spoken to them politely.

All that aside though, short of gagging the child what are the parents supposed to do?

See I totally disagree I don't think it unreasonable to ask your neighbour to quieter down a little at 1.30 am in the morning, I do think swearing at the OP set the tone and has probably made the OP a little wary and I can't blame her for not wanting to pop round, go shopping, do the garden etc has as been suggested on this thread by others. They are new to the neighbourhood, surely they have set this tone by inviting drunkards round who are abusive to your new neighbours, talk about first impressions!

We've had an ambulance out to our child on 6 occasions this year, mainly in the middle of the night. I've always apologised to my neighbours about the disruption, I know I don't need to and they don't expect it, but that's just what I think is right.

shegirl

paulineb wrote: »

Ive got no issues with asylum seekers, because my family have friends who did seek asylum, we used to visit them in detention centres and I can assure people, my friend didnt leave detention to fancy houses, or even any houses or lots of benefits

I try and think before I believe the daily mail on a lot of issues

I also dont have issues with anyone who has a kid with disabilities, what I do have issues with are rude, drunken anti social neighbours

Ive put up with a lot in my time here, Ive ended up on anti depressants due to neighbours behaviour and for people saying move, where to exactly?

When I asked for a transfer I got offered somewhere even worse and not everyone has the means to buy somewhere

Lets not generalise. This issue seems to be as much about the family and the company they keep and not just the disabled child

And some of the comments on here directed at the OP have been less than pleasant, massive jumping to conclusions, lets take a step back before we condemn someone who is clearly upset

Oh come on! ONCE,just ONCE did they have a friend there who drank too much and told the shouting starer on her balcony to f off.

Seriously wonder what planet people live on if they deem that to be hell breaking loose and so awful that the neighbours themselves could never be tolerable and the op should feel scared.

Perspective people!

Nicki

supersaver2 wrote: »

See I totally disagree I don't think it unreasonable to ask your neighbour to quieter down a little at 1.30 am in the morning, I do think swearing at the OP set the tone and has probably made the OP a little wary and I can't blame her for not wanting to pop round, go shopping, do the garden etc has as been suggested on this thread by others. They are new to the neighbourhood, surely they have set this tone by inviting drunkards round who are abusive to your new neighbours, talk about first impressions!

We've had an ambulance out to our child on 6 occasions this year, mainly in the middle of the night. I've always apologised to my neighbours about the disruption, I know I don't need to and they don't expect it, but that's just what I think is right.

The noise at 1.30 am was an involuntary squeal from a disabled child which woke OP up so the child was probably asleep before that. Given the noise was a reflex how could the neighbours have quietened down at that time?

The noise which prompted the F Off comment and was not caused by the child was in the early evening in the garden. Whether it was reasonable for the OP to ask them to be quieter rather depends on what time in the evening it was and exactly how loud they were being. Given there were only 2 of them there though I'd wonder whether it was in fact unreasonably loud in the first place

poet123

supersaver2 wrote: »

See I totally disagree I don't think it unreasonable to ask your neighbour to quieter down a little at 1.30 am in the morning, I do think swearing at the OP set the tone and has probably made the OP a little wary and I can't blame her for not wanting to pop round, go shopping, do the garden etc has as been suggested on this thread by others. They are new to the neighbourhood, surely they have set this tone by inviting drunkards round who are abusive to your new neighbours, talk about first impressions!

We've had an ambulance out to our child on 6 occasions this year, mainly in the middle of the night. I've always apologised to my neighbours about the disruption, I know I don't need to and they don't expect it, but that's just what I think is right.

The OP didn't say that incident happened at 1.30am, I took it to be early evening.

She was woken by the child at 1.30am according to her OP.

I agree the new neighbours should have spoken up when their friend spoke to the OP in that way, but being shouted at by someone from a balcony overlooking your garden can't be pleasant either.

supersaver2

Nicki wrote: »

The noise at 1.30 am was an involuntary squeal from a disabled child which woke OP up so the child was probably asleep before that. Given the noise was a reflex how could the neighbours have quietened down at that time?

The noise which prompted the F Off comment and was not caused by the child was in the early evening in the garden. Whether it was reasonable for the OP to ask them to be quieter rather depends on what time in the evening it was and exactly how loud they were being. Given there were only 2 of them there though I'd wonder whether it was in fact unreasonably loud in the first place

My mistake about the 1.30am noise, but I can't see where it says early evening either, just drinking at night, so really could be any time.

Don't underestimate how noisy just 2 people can be especially where drink is concerned and the quantity being consumer if one is so drunk they fall over. Swearing at people is always unreasonable, I would be mortified if any of my invited guests started abusing my neighbours.