Neighbours from Hell

Nicki

Effective sound insulation requires altering the structure of the property in a way virtually all tenancy agreements would not permit. Hence why only OP can soundproof here.

The tenants even if they want to cannot fit acoustic tiling to the walls or ceiling or replace wooden floors with carpets for example. There are no effective temporary soundproofing solutions which I am aware of which would not mark the interior of a rented property

**professor~yaffle**

Nicki wrote: »

How would a bigger flat change things? There is no suggestion anywhere on the thread that the child's noise is in any way related to the size of the chat.

If they're in a 1-bedroom flat and they have a child they probably need a 2-bed. Nothing to do with noise.

It's possible this family won't be there for that long, that's all I meant.

lostinrates

Nicki wrote: »

It's no wonder parents of disabled children end up so socially isolated when they apparently have to choose friends who have no flaws of any kind and who behave 100% impeccably even when the children are not even present! Lambasting the parents for their own behaviour is one thing but holding them accountable for their friends lapses too...

Actually, I do think parents who let friends get fall down drunk in front of any children are showing lapses of their own.

Everyone is flawed....but it seems op's flaws are intolerable while the parents are to be excused.

Tbh, I'm surprised down of the parents in similar situations aren't saying..' You know, I'm sympathetic to their frustration and its horrid when a neighbour is vile, but we'd not want a friend drunk on the floor around our child'

fluffnutter

I'm not very good with other people's noise. In fact I hate it. I firmly believe it's a physiological thing and all to do with a part of the brain called the amygdala which filters sensory input - sound, light, touch etc. In some people it's better at filtering than it is in others. If you're unlucky enough to have one that doesn't do much filtering, you find your environment far more stressful than the average person.

I'm saying all this for a reason - people who are troubled by noise aren't being 'awkward' or a bit 'intolerant' or they just need to 'chill out' and 'put up with it'; they're genuinely unable to ignore it in the same way that others can.

The problem is, a certain amount of noise is inevitable and whilst some people are naturally less able to cope than others, the way you view that noise can have an effect on how you feel about it. Noise that you can control is much easier to cope with than noise that is completely out of your hands. Similarly noise from people you like is generally easier to deal with than noise from strangers, hence why your own children's noisy toys aren't half as annoying as a stranger's child's toys.

OP, I'd seriously recommend befriending your neighbours. This will help on a couple of levels. You might find you're able to broach the subject of noise if you're friends (although this is probably difficult because it's their disabled child that's causing the noise) but, more importantly, I bet you any money that this child's noise won't be half as irritating if you know that child and have a modicum of emotional investment.

Nicki

lostinrates wrote: »

Actually, I do think parents who let friends get fall down drunk in front of any children are showing lapses of their own.

Everyone is flawed....but it seems op's flaws are intolerable while the parents are to be excused.

Tbh, I'm surprised down of the parents in similar situations aren't saying..' You know, I'm sympathetic to their frustration and its horrid when a neighbour is vile, but we'd not want a friend drunk on the floor around our child'

Except the child wasn't there at the time! The dad and his friend were outdoors late in the evening. The 7 year old was not in the garden and very likely asleep in his bed. Don't get me wrong, I don't have friends who get falling down drunk either, but the fact this happened once not in the presence of the child is not evidence for or against how good a parent they are.

lostinrates

fluffnutter wrote: »

, I bet you any money that this child's noise won't be half as irritating if you know that child and have a modicum of emotional investment.

This is certainly true.

Fluff utter, its come up in this thread, and somewhere else ...are you misophonic?

PinkLipgloss

WOW! At a lot of the responses on here (on both sides!)

Anyways, heres my take on it (for what its worth). I live in Japan and here there is a HUGE emphasis on being considerate towards others on a daily basis. It makes for a much easier life in many ways.

As such, if my son was noisy (disabled or not) I would not, under any circumstances, be moving into a flat. It would be much too stressful given that I know it would impact negatively on the neighbours.

However, I realise life is not always straightforward and there are quite possibly money issues etc to consider.

Vicky123

poet123 wrote: »

As the OP hasn't mentioned the parents doing any of these things am I right in believing you are advocating her to lie?

Lie about issues which could lead to the child being removed? Lie about issues which could lead to police intervention.

Have I really read you correctly?

The OP could get into some very serious trouble taking that advice, Social Services are already involved when a child has severe disability and often when not so severe, they will already be aware if there are any issues regarding care, they aren't best pleased to be called out for malicious reasons. They may make enquiries from the reluctant neighbours and find that the OP had been trying to enlist them to oust the family.

balletshoes

not true - I don't have a disabled child and I was offended by your earlier post.

poet123

balletshoes wrote: »

not true - I don't have a disabled child and I was offended by your earlier post.

I don't have a disabled child either and I was also offended by the post. In fact this thread has opened my eyes to the opinions that are out there, and some of them defy belief.