Politely setting boundaries with houseguests

DaftyDuck

Well, having ploughed through (almost) all of this thread (I have man-flu and am suffering ) I am so glad to see you having some really good ripostes and that you are standing your ground. It's so sad that the kids are obviously being so damaged by their upbringing, and even a small amount of sense and order brings out a forgive-me hug or an apology. Tragic.

Is there any possibility of keeping communication up with the kids over the internet, without raising the spectre of the clan descending on you again? Probably not (I am flu-addled, I did say!) Edit to add: I mean, you do seem to be a good influence on them, possibly their only obvious good influence?


Miss I. You have my utmost respect. I shall NOT be inviting myself!

miss_independent

DaftyDuck wrote: »

Well, having ploughed through (almost) all of this thread (I have man-flu and am suffering ) I am so glad to see you having some really good ripostes and that you are standing your ground. It's so sad that the kids are obviously being so damaged by their upbringing, and even a small amount of sense and order brings out a forgive-me hug or an apology. Tragic.

Is there any possibility of keeping communication up with the kids over the internet, without raising the spectre of the clan descending on you again? Probably not (I am flu-addled, I did say!) Edit to add: I mean, you do seem to be a good influence on them, possibly their only obvious good influence?


Miss I. You have my utmost respect. I shall NOT be inviting myself!

Thanks Dafty, hope your man-flu goes away soon!

We do skype regularly and they call once a week...though admittedly I sometimes ignore their calls as I find them a bit tedious .

I know the ideal would be to have them to stay on their own regularly but honestly...I find it hard work, I'm knackered and why should I have to parent them? I don't even have kids of my own yet and I want to indulge myself while I still have the time. Then there is the extra cost, use of my free time etc...

Also...I don't even know what the heck I'm doing with these kids really - I'm not a parent! And what would be the point when they are going to return home anyway?

What if they get dumped on me forever :eek:?

Takeaway_Addict

~Chameleon~ wrote: »

Eh??


......................

How do you not know what a bump is after over 7000 posts?

I was bumping the thread to keep it near the top so it wouldn't get lost.

~Chameleon~

Takeaway_Addict wrote: »

How do you not know what a bump is after over 7000 posts?

I was bumping the thread to keep it near the top so it wouldn't get lost.

It's hardly going to get lost when those posting on it have it in their subscribed list therefore will be notified immediately a post has been made. Whereas "bumping" a thread is a complete waste of everyone's time.

DaftyDuck

miss_independent wrote: »

Thanks Dafty, hope your man-flu goes away soon!

We do skype regularly and they call once a week...though admittedly I sometimes ignore their calls as I find them a bit tedious .

I know the ideal would be to have them to stay on their own regularly {no no no no.... not my intent. too stressful for words... not your responsibility....} but honestly...I find it hard work, I'm knackered and why should I have to parent them? I don't even have kids of my own yet and I want to indulge myself while I still have the time. Then there is the extra cost, use of my free time etc...

Also...I don't even know what the heck I'm doing with these kids really - I'm not a parent! (I'm not a parent either... and never will be !!!) And what would be the point when they are going to return home anyway?

What if they get dumped on me forever :eek:?

Oh heck no, I wasn't even meaning them to stay on their own, not even regular communication. Lousy as I'm feeling at the moment (I have a hand towel to wipe sweat from my brow, and await the return of Mrs Dafty, who is a vet, and will put me down, I hope) I was more feeling that some communication channel that might be used for a scream for help from two troubled children.

Takeaway_Addict

~Chameleon~ wrote: »

It's hardly going to get lost when those posting on it have it in their subscribed list therefore will be notified immediately a post has been made. Whereas "bumping" a thread is a complete waste of everyone's time.

Wow, never knew someone could have as big a chip on the shoulder as you do over bumping of a post!

I disagree about the usefulness but I suspect discussing this with you is about as useful as a chocolate teapot.

miss_independent

Takeaway_Addict wrote: »

Wow, never knew someone could have as big a chip on the shoulder as you do over bumping of a post!

I disagree about the usefulness but I suspect discussing this with you is about as useful as a chocolate teapot.

Lol, have to admit it's my thread and I didn't even subscribe!

I probably wouldn't have replied had the thread not been bumped .

miss_independent

DaftyDuck wrote: »

Oh heck no, I wasn't even meaning them to stay on their own, not even regular communication. Lousy as I'm feeling at the moment (I have a hand towel to wipe sweat from my brow, and await the return of Mrs Dafty, who is a vet, and will put me down, I hope) I was more feeling that some communication channel that might be used for a scream for help from two troubled children.

No, I know you didn't mean that...I was just thinking out loud really.

Poor Mrs Dafty .

pollypenny

Miss I, I would not make a habit of skyping the girls, even though you are clearly a positive influence for them.

You can worry about them too much and may well find them depending on you.

Don't feel guilty, but ease yourself away.

miss_independent

pollypenny wrote: »

Miss I, I would not make a habit of skyping the girls, even though you are clearly a positive influence for them.

You can worry about them too much and may well find them depending on you.

Don't feel guilty, but ease yourself away.

Yes, I'd rather back away. I find they waste my time on Skype as it is and I would never have started it, it was Cousin and her OH that started Skyping and..as we've learned..I have problems with the word no.