How do I curb wife's spending

Growurown

Pay_no_attention wrote: »

month so we see if anything changes. She will no longer have use of our car or her phone will not be topped up as she will be back in the UK.
I know she has managed to save a couple of thousand for when she starts uni. Yesterday she asked for £400 for her room deposit. Do I give it her or make her use her savings?

Is she getting a student loan to help her at Uni? My kids both had student loans and paid for everything themselves apart from their books which we paid for as some of them were very expensive.

The student loan should cover everything if you are very careful, but my kids both worked through Uni to make it easier.

Make her use her savings, she'll get the deposit back when she leaves. If you pay it you will never see it again, it will go into your daughter's bank and my guess is if that happens she will keep it.

cte1111

Pay_no_attention wrote: »

Because I do not honestly know what I think I should contribute to and what not too. If I make her pay the £400 its £400 less she will have to live on at uni. I hear of other parents talk about its costing them a fortune to send their kids to uni so I assume they must be paying for it. I never got the opportunity to go to university myself and my daughter is the first in our family to do so,so I am proud of her in that respect.

It depends what other finance your daughter is receiving.

Presumably you've already had to do a student finance application, which will determine if your daughter is eligible for any funding. In addition, she will be able to take out student loans and may also be able to work to pay towards her living costs.

You really do need to agree exactly what you are and are not paying for with your daughter, as otherwise this could lead to major problems for you as a family, if she spends all her money on going out when you are expecting her to pay her our rent, or if she rings home every week asking for more money when you haven't got any to give to her.

More info here:
https://www.gov.uk/student-finance/overview

Growurown

It seems our posts clashed. If she is applying for the student loan will you still give her £60 per week?

Pay_no_attention

ellerose wrote: »

I went to university and funded everything myself - rent, living costs, tuition fees, the lot. So IMO I'd let her pay her room deposit herself - she gets it back later I presume? I've been following your thread with interest; I can't imagine not having my other half on board with my debt busting, makes it so much easier as other posters have said!!

I think you are right. Let her pay the deposit out of her savings. I'm sure she will soon contact me if she runs out of money.

ellerose

Pay_no_attention wrote: »

I think you are right. Let her pay the deposit out of her savings. I'm sure she will soon contact me if she runs out of money.

Well perhaps discussing budgetting with her will help to her to avoid running out of money! If she knows you'll always bail her out she won't learn to spend responsibly?

Pay_no_attention

Growurown wrote: »

It seems our posts clashed. If she is applying for the student loan will you still give her £60 per week?

No I don't think I will. I think £80 per week is more than enough to live on as a student. That's after her room is paid for. Plus she has around £2000 she has managed to save.
It would be better for me to give her nothing and invest the £60 per week and pay off her loans when she leaves.
In fact the best option would be to pay £60 per week to my highest interest credit card!

ViolaLass

Pay_no_attention wrote: »

No I don't think I will. I think £80 per week is more than enough to live on as a student. That's after her room is paid for. Plus she has around £2000 she has managed to save.
It would be better for me to give her nothing and invest the £60 per week and pay off her loans when she leaves.
In fact the best option would be to pay £60 per week to my highest interest credit card!

Your daughter doesn't sound like she needs the money. Keep it and put it to good use.

Luke273

Pay_no_attention wrote: »

We have already calculated that she will in fact be quite well off compared to her friends at uni without any help from us. The course she is doing she has been eligible for all kinds of bursaries and grants. I'm trying to persuade her not to take the student loan which is worth about £60 per week I think.This is the amount I had in mind sending her each week . This way she will leave debt free,but she wants to still apply for the loan. After her tuition fees and rent she will have around £80 per week to live on. I know this is almost double what her friends have.

She should take the loan and you should keep your money, a student loan is pretty much the best debt you can get, the interest rate is so low and the repayment structure is also well managed that you could be losing thousands by paying upfront, please read the MME article on it - http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/students/should-i-get-student-loan

Pay_no_attention

ViolaLass wrote: »

Your daughter doesn't sound like she needs the money. Keep it and put it to good use.

Yes I think I'm going to see how she manages in the first few months. Obviously I do not want to see her in a situation where she is going hungry.

ViolaLass

Pay_no_attention wrote: »

Yes I think I'm going to see how she manages in the first few months. Obviously I do not want to see her in a situation where she is going hungry.

Just beware. If she thinks you're going to bail her out, there's a very good chance she'll let herself get into a position where she needs to be bailed out. Students loans are paid every term, which helps a little with budgeting. If she's struggling towards the end of term, perhaps she could do some barwork.

Your daughter really needs to learn to stand on her own two feet. Bailing her out is not always going to be the answer.