How do I curb wife's spending

Dimey

ViolaLass wrote: »

PNA, I think you need to consider moving the coffees aspect from the food budget. Your wife hasn't stayed within the money you allowed and I think allowing coffees out of that money too just confuses the issue. She went over budget so she hasn't earned them!

Absolutely Viola Lass

The coffees have been a problem right from the start. Mrs PNA just isn't listening. Frustrating.
Why on earth isn't Mrs PNA putting the family before a few Latte's that she'll have forgotten about an hour later.

Pay_no_attention

ellerose wrote: »

Correct me if I'm wrong but do you have to pay council tax for an empty house? Doesn't that make it exempt?

Since April of this year the law changed. I think it is up to the individual borough if and what discount they now give. Ours don't give any.:(

Pay_no_attention

ViolaLass wrote: »

PNA, I think you need to consider moving the coffees aspect from the food budget. Your wife hasn't stayed within the money you allowed and I think allowing coffees out of that money too just confuses the issue. She went over budget so she hasn't earned them!

The coffees and eating out has always been a problem, specially as we are in sunny climate. I admit it is nice to sit outside and enjoy a coffee, I think I have done that once this week whilst waiting for an appointment. Sometimes Mrs PNA can go to three different coffee bars during the course of a day and sometimes consume two or three coffees at each venue. I just don't think she realises how this much adds up to in the course of a week.
Maybe I am becoming that old miser too in my old age! I am already thinking about tonight as she has arranged to meet friends at the local bar just so we can drop a gift off to someone who has just had a baby. It will be a £30 outing for a couple of hours when I could quite happily stay in.
I'm working today, It will be interesting to see if I have any dinner when I get home as hardly anything in the cupboards now. I made a nice casserole yesterday using 90% of stuff from the freezer I put it in the slow cooker so it was ready for when I got home from work? Mrs PNA dd and dd were still eating this morning for breakfast:rotfl: they ate it cold as well.

System

I think people are being too harsh on Mrs PNA. I'm sure this isn't easy for her. A lot if us are probably in debt because we've lived a certain lifestyle at some point (me included) and some people find it harder to change than others. Yes, she is frustrating, but with the right support she will get there. This is something both people need to get through. I don't think she's being malicious, or even spoilt... I just think she's too used to being able to buy 2 or 3 coffees a day & whatever else she enjoys & it is finding it tough to stick to a budget.

Mr PNA, you're doing amazingly, & ignore anyone giving you relationship advice!!! We are just strangers to you, we don't know your relationship. All we know is your wife hates budgeting a bit like my OH lol.

Sparklyfairy

loopybecs, I get what you're saying. BUT this has been happening for A LONG TIME! Mr PNA left his wife for a bit because of her spending, so it's not something new for her to get used to.

I'm used to having a lot more money than I currently have but you know what? I get that. I'm not prepared to get into more debt just because I was used to having several expensive coffees a week. I think what made it REAL for me was that it was in my face all the time, my debt & my dh's, & we had to make collective changes as a family.

Yes, we are all strangers here. But if you take a look at PNA's title of this thread " How do I curb wife's Spending " he's inviting us to discuss this. I'm certain MANY on here have been in his exact same situation ( me included to a point) & there's a fine line between talking about debt without discussing marital issues. He can choose what he wants to act on, what advice to take. The point is, we're not being malicious, we're actually trying to help him out. But if his wife continues to spend like she does, she's not growing up & taking responsibility.

PNA, yes, you're doing a great job. Please don't be put off posting your progress (or Mrs PNA's). I really hope she understands soon..this must be exhausting for you. x

System

Scritti wrote: »

Sorry but I agree with this 100%.

I speak from experience. If somebody genuinely loves you, they share the bad as well as the good. Everything you wrote just screams get rid of her to me.

Best of luck though.

Sparklyfairy, the quotes like above are what I'm referring to. There is just no need for it. I believe someone else called her a golddigger!!! Yes, PNA is asking us how to curb his wife's spending, not if he should leave her or to insult her.

I am glad that you have made a lifestyle change to improve your debt situation. It is hard, and you should be proud. What I said is that some people find it harder to change than others, including Mrs PNA.

We can continue to advise PNA on how to improve the family financial situation. I just think the rest of it is uncalled for. Which is the minority. My OH is crap with money but I'd be upset if people told me I should leave him.

fc123

[QUOTES] Sometimes Mrs PNA can go to three different coffee bars during the course of a day and sometimes consume two or three coffees at each venue.

Does she have an allowance for 'grooming' things?

I have followed your thread off and on since you started and I wondered if she spends the money in salons; facials, botox, filler, waxing, that kind of thing.
To be honest 3 coffees in 3 venues = 9 coffees per day. It is almost impossible to drink that much caffeine.;)

I would suggest that the budget isn't working (as it keeps running out early) and you both shove the receipts into a jar as and when anything is spent. Tot them up after 2 weeks.

Pay_no_attention wrote: »

Since April of this year the law changed. I think it is up to the individual borough if and what discount they now give. Ours don't give any.:(

Put in for single person discount of 25%. That's easy to do.

When our house was vacant we did get exemption for 6 months but it was then used for a large credit card fraud (as they go through the electoral role looking for vacant properties) whereby the goods were delivered to our address, collected and sold on.

Has Mrs PNA had any luck with her job search as I recall you saying a few months back she was keen to find something?

Mojisola

Pay_no_attention wrote: »

Sometimes Mrs PNA can go to three different coffee bars during the course of a day and sometimes consume two or three coffees at each venue.

loopybecs wrote: »

I think people are being too harsh on Mrs PNA. I'm sure this isn't easy for her. A lot if us are probably in debt because we've lived a certain lifestyle at some point (me included) and some people find it harder to change than others. Yes, she is frustrating, but with the right support she will get there. This is something both people need to get through. I don't think she's being malicious, or even spoilt... I just think she's too used to being able to buy 2 or 3 coffees a day & whatever else she enjoys & it is finding it tough to stick to a budget.

Possibly eight or nine coffees in one day! How can anyone not realise just how much that is costing?

It does suggest that she's in a "won't change" frame of mind.

If my relationship had already broken up once because of overspending, I'd be able to make better choices with money.

dory22

does your wife work? if not suggest to her if she wants to go out to lunch and coffee and spend like theres no tomorrow then she can with her own money, your daughter is not a child, I was made to get a job as soon as I was 16 I had to pay my mum £20 a week keep which she pays the council tax, can you suggest to your daughter if you give her money for this and that then its coming out of her living allowance, put the the facts down to them on paper, stop spending or lose everything, its up to them they are adults, im 26 still live at home freelance pay my mum £160 a month (not working much at the mo) my car is brought out right, as is my iphone, iv got savings, I pay the internet, all the bills for my cat etc. be tough they stop spending our the house gets reposed it may not be that bad but a scare tatic could help.

Dimey

dory 22, If I remember rightly, Mrs PNA has a part time job.