How do I curb wife's spending

Pay_no_attention

sydneybean wrote: »

I was just going to say something similar:) does your wife actually know exactly how much money you owe? what about writing it down on a piece of paper in very big print and just handing it to her and walking away. i probably wouldn't even write on it this is what we owe, just the figure and let her come to you and ask what it signifies.

as an aside on your previous post you mention that even when you split up you had to deal with her finances? Really? so at no point has she taken any responsibility for her own day to day budgeting?:eek:

a huge well done though for saying you will have to manage for the next 9 days,:T now you just need to stick to it! Be Strong:D

It was agreed when we separated I would pay the mortgage. For one to ensure my kids had a roof over their heads and secondly we have quite a bit of equity in the house. I also paid for a new car as the last one was a wreck that was given to me after I lost my business. It started to affect the kids getting to school as was breaking down all the time. Got the new car using the scrap age scheme and negotiated a good discount. Sold it two years later and in total cost me £750 for two years motoring.
Mrs PNA had a part time job and and was also in receipt of benefits. I was often telephoned to bail her out electricity,gas etc. I also know she was borrowing from her parents.

Pay_no_attention

Maybe I should ask this next question n a different forum but could anyone answer the following.
We have a joint owned property in the UK. I have not lived in the property for 5 years. The last few months the property has been let and the tenants paying the council tax. Prior to this my wife was receiving council tax discount as she living alone and on benefits.
Now we are back together and we don't have a tenant in the property we are liable for the council tax. So do we claim as a couple which we are again although I have not lived in the house for 5 years.
I think the answer is yes and we have to pay 100% but another post early on said we claim the 25% discount for single person living their. Can anyone clarify?

anoncol

If you still dont live in the house, you can tell the council no one lives in it.

Mojisola

Councils have their own rules about charging for empty properties so you'll have to check with the relevant council.

patanne

I believe some councils are charging 150% for an empty property so that may be worth enquiring about first

maman

Sorry, can't help on council tax. Hope you get a tenant soon.:)

Thanks for the resume on situation. Now you've reminded us that you have your £50 a week each for personal spending. Then £300 on top of bulk dried good/toiletries is definitely enough for groceries for 3. What mrs pna seems to be doing is treating herself from the grocery budget first and then expecting you to make up the shortfall when there's no money left for food.

:T:T:Tfor refusing to go out last night and digging your heels in over topping up the budget. So she's sulking at the moment, it will pass.

I like the idea of confronting her with the debt total whenever she wants money, not sure about the whiteboard in the bedroom though!:rotfl:

Sparklyfairy

I agree with Maman 100%. Perhaps the wipe board can be beside the TV in the lounge instead

Pay_no_attention

patanne wrote: »

I believe some councils are charging 150% for an empty property so that may be worth enquiring about first

Looking at our councils website it looks like we are liable for 100% from month 1 of it being empty then after 6 months it rises to 150%.
The council tax is about 220 per month! I would be better off letting a student stay their for free! No council tax to pay then unless I have not understood it correctly.

sydneybean

PNA apologies if i have come across as rude when i asked if your wife had done her own budgeting whilst you were apart. From the sound of it you went above and beyond what you were expected to do and i am sure that as any parent would do you felt you had to bail her out when children were involved as you cant have them in a house with no heating etc.

i wish i could offer a solution that would work but as i am sure we would all agree on this site that each person needs to have their own lightbulb moment before we face up to music or debt in this case.

I'm sending you big hugs though because you quite obviously love your wife and you are working so hard for your family, and thats really admirable!
x

danandjens_worldtravels

Pay_no_attention wrote: »

Honestly sometimes I am envious of her laid back aptitude to money and life. I am a natural worrier!

And so am I! I think we'd all like the money fairy to fill up the deficit every month

Everyone in life has choices and people like to have options. Give Mrs PNA the right to choose between the two alternatives

1. to deal with finances, ie understand your calculations and whats happening and fully contribute to the decisions (she will have to demonstrate she understands the situation fully and this should become clear to you in your discussions)
or
2. accept the £300 without question, sulking or argument.

She may not like the choices but those are the ones she gets.

She cannot then accuse you of control as you have given her the choice (from the two options). She should still feel like she is in control because it is her decision and when an argument brews you can remind her of her two options, again giving her control and choice.