How do I curb wife's spending

System

Hope all is ok today PNA. Did you & your wife talk any more last night? I've got to have a 'chat' with my OH about some of our bills later & I don't think it's gonna go down well. It never does. He's not a spendaholic like Mrs PNA but is too lazy to shop around & get the best deals. We need to change a lot of suppliers but I know he'd rather be on Twitter than talk about it

Pay_no_attention

loopybecs wrote: »

Hope all is ok today PNA. Did you & your wife talk any more last night? I've got to have a 'chat' with my OH about some of our bills later & I don't think it's gonna go down well. It never does. He's not a spendaholic like Mrs PNA but is too lazy to shop around & get the best deals. We need to change a lot of suppliers but I know he'd rather be on Twitter than talk about it

No not really last night. This morning was slightly better:T I had to go to warehouse today for work so I have picked up a few essentials to try and see us to next Monday. I've listed everything I spent about £24. I'm just hoping now this along with what we have in the cupboards can last the week.
I love sorting all the best places to shop and getting the best deals, I am a hard negotiator when it comes to big value purchases.
Both sets of parents use me to locate deals and best prices for them as well.
Good luck with your chat tonight, I've never been into twitter or Facebook, although I have accounts with both.

System

Pay_no_attention wrote: »

I love sorting all the best places to shop and getting the best deals, I am a hard negotiator when it comes to big value purchases.
Both sets of parents use me to locate deals and best prices for them as well.
Good luck with your chat tonight, I've never been into twitter or Facebook, although I have accounts with both.

You should start your own comparison business
Thank you. I rarely use Twitter but am a bit of a FB addict

ViolaLass

Pay_no_attention wrote: »

No not really last night. This morning was slightly better:T I had to go to warehouse today for work so I have picked up a few essentials to try and see us to next Monday. I've listed everything I spent about £24. I'm just hoping now this along with what we have in the cupboards can last the week.
I love sorting all the best places to shop and getting the best deals,

So could you have coped until next week without shopping or not? £24 is not far short of the amount we would spend anyway so isn't the message you're sending your wife something like "If you spend all the budget, I'll grumble then buy us a few extras".

rainbowcattail

Given your wife gets coffee money on top of the £300 I think that is really generous. If she doesnt think it is enough, could you say that anything she saves from the £300 grocery money per month she could then have in addition for next months coffees? I know.. it sounds ridiculous to me and a total waste of money but maybe it has to be really really baby steps and she could be trained into saving some first.

Alternatively the piece of paper with the debt totals on it you were going to give to her, can you stick it on the fridge and cross it off as it goes down? I did that with ours and as it was in our face every day it really helped concentrate the mind. It might help her 'get it'.

You are doing really well Mr PNA though

maman

rainbowcattail wrote: »

Given your wife gets coffee money on top of the £300 I think that is really generous. If she doesnt think it is enough, could you say that anything she saves from the £300 grocery money per month she could then have in addition for next months coffees? I know.. it sounds ridiculous to me and a total waste of money but maybe it has to be really really baby steps and she could be trained into saving some first.

I'm sure pna will respond but I think the idea was that coffees would be treats from any surplus in grocery budget. Unfortunately, Mrs pna seems to buy the coffees first and then shout when all grocery budget spent.

satchmo1

Personally, I'd tell Mrs PNA to get a full time job if she wants money - then she'd have money to buy her "treats" AND less time to guzzle overpriced coffee after wearing herself out shopping.

thegrind

Wow,

I've read a lot of this thread whilst I don't envy you and your situation PNA I think your a smart chap who is being taken for a ride because your also a nice chap.
This needs to change mate, your wife and daughter are manipulating you to give them money and I would go as far to say "ganging up on you" to get what they want.

Its sheer greed on their part and disrespect to you trying to keep a stable environment for your family as any good responsible adult would do.

People that have poor money management, despite having plenty of money will always come unstuck, they're always the people that have no shame in asking their mates for money, who a year down the line whinge on here about how their "bestie aint paid me back and isnt returning my calls". So long as there are mugs that decide to step in where the banks fear to tread they will continue to be stitched up.

The simple rule is money gets spent in this order.

HOME/SHELTER
GROCERIES
UTILITIES - WATER, GAS AND/OR ELECTRICITY
COUNCIL TAX
CLOTHES
TRANSPORTATION
EMERGENCY FUND.
TV, INTERNET, MOBILE.
A REASONABLE PAYMENT TOWARDS DEBT.
SAVINGS

---

The rest under this line becomes luxuries/wants.

Its not hard to understand this concept but most relationships fail because of resentment and what your wife is doing is causing just that, i know this because your on a public BB venting it to us. Marriage is a partnership.

Also regarding your daughters situation wouldn't it be silly her getting a top class education at uni then lack the basic skills to manage her finances. She is still young but kids need to learn the value of money and its not something that grows on trees, but a medium of exchange that one way or another has to be EARNED and is not a free commodity handed out by "mug of a father".

She will keep borrowing off Daddy but there will come a point where you wont have the means or the will to dish out any more money to her. This is when Mr. Wonga who is more than happy to lend you the money that you couldn't be bothered to save when you had it or earn enough to support your unrealistic lifestyle decides to pop into the problem.

Teaching your kids about finance will save them alot of bother in the future. Getting by in life is hard enough without digging a hole for yourself.

PNA youre the bread winner and the man of the house, start laying down some serious ground rules. Because i know i would be.

All the best.

dory22

maybe open a separate account and put some of the monthly money in there like some of the other have to curb their partners spending and justshow her whats in the main account then when she comes asking for money make it clear to her THERE IS NO MORE SPARE MONEY, why don't you let her deal with her own debt? she got herself into it she can get herself out it, that will scare her into not spending, I cant believe she'd rather spend money on treating herself rather then ensuring there is enough food in the house, putting food on the table should come first.

Pay_no_attention

ViolaLass wrote: »

So could you have coped until next week without shopping or not? £24 is not far short of the amount we would spend anyway so isn't the message you're sending your wife something like "If you spend all the budget, I'll grumble then buy us a few extras".

Spending the £24 has allowed me to make complete meals along with what we had in the cupboards. Without it would have been struggling.
I will take the £24 from next months budget. Hopefully the gap has narrowed as first month we was double this amount short.