How do I curb wife's spending

Pay_no_attention

kelpie35 wrote: »

PNA have you thought about advertising it on Gumtree or facebook if you have an account.

There are loads of people using these sites now, hope this helps.

Funny enough I was thinking of using gumtree yesterday to advertise the house or rooms. I've used gumtree a lot just lately to find workman and it's been superb. I will look into it.
Facebook I do not have a clue about or how to go about advertising on it.

Pay_no_attention

katykicker wrote: »

Remember that the rules surrounding renting individual rooms and a whole property differ greatly. You need much more rigorous layouts for multi-room lodgings, I am sure someone can give you more information soon, I know it is around multiple room occupancy and each council may have different licenses that are required, so you'd probably be better to just lower the rent a little more, or perhaps ask around if anyone you know in the UK has someone who'd be interested for a 'mate rate' perhaps?

also, do you not have the option to secure a better mortgage deal?

Switching within the same society I can,but to go to another lender is not a possibility as I'm not living in the UK or my income is not in the UK.

When I spoke to my agent the other week he informed me I can let 5 rooms and keep the 3rd floor out of bounds then you do not need to register as a HMO. I've not yet checked to see if this information is correct.

Tuesday_Tenor

rainbowcattail wrote: »

....& they are HER flipping debts as well. What are the implications of giving her responsibility for paying off her debts? I understand you both have separate debts? ....

Don't think so.

I understood the majority of the massive debt is because the business folded, for most unfortunate reasons. This was nothing to do with Mrs. PNA

I understand PNA's frustration at the way Mrs. PNA has been sabotaging his sterling efforts to pay off the debts
But from her point of view, she is obviously frustrated that he 'sabotaged' their previous lifestyle when the business ended.

She certainly needs to 'get real ' about their current situation, but I wonder if something fundamental wasn't covered in the process of getting back together? She certainly seems to think that the debt recovery plan is nothing to do with her.

Do you need a completely different tack, so she can see her income contributing to household and her personal spending, and you both need to ensure that household/personal/contingency budgets are not overspent, but you keep the business debts completely separate. After all, you were doing OK before you got back together.

On the other hand, I guess thats what you're doing anyway ...

Sorry, bit stumped by her behaviour; I think the sabotaging mindset is coming from somewhere that's very hurt and ingrained, though ...

rainbowcattail

Tuesday_Tenor wrote: »

Don't think so.

I understood the majority of the massive debt is because the business folded, for most unfortunate reasons.

Ah I see, I thought she had run up her own big debts whilst separated.

Interesting point about the sabotaging mindset, it certainly sounds like that sort of behaviour, maybe there is unresolved issues from the separation.

Dimey

It was both the business debts that PNA and Mrs PNA were responsible for. And debts Mrs PNA ran up whilst separated.

The sabotaging mindset is an interesting point. I pictured Mrs PNA as just being a selfish manipulative airhead who knows no better but who knows when she's on to a good thing (sorry PNA, absolutely no offence - just the quickest way to spit it out).

Perhaps PNA should consider whether Mrs PNA is bitter over the business folding. Did the "fault" lie with both Mr & Mrs PNA, with PNA only or with circumstances out of their control.

Mrs PNA might have reason to resent PNA for the loss of their previous lifestyle only if the "fault" lie with Mr PNA alone. But then when you marry you do so for better or worse, for richer or poorer. Mrs PNA should have come to forgiveness by now - especially if she loves PNA and is watching his daily struggles for the family.

Still if you think it's a relevant factor PNA, it might be worth exploring in a heart to heart - over a coffee!.

maman

Dimey wrote: »

The sabotaging mindset is an interesting point. I pictured Mrs PNA as just being a selfish manipulative airhead who knows no better but who knows when she's on to a good thing (sorry PNA, absolutely no offence - just the quickest way to spit it out).

Ouch! I understand that you've used a shorthand but I prefer the ostrich one. However, the emotions behind why she should be that way are difficult to fathom but it does put her in an excellent position for a kick up the bum!:rotfl:

Dimey

You're right Maman.
Sometimes I'm way too blunt and undiplomatic. I do apologise. Do you think I ought to edit or delete my post?

In the meantime to explain to PNA & everyone, I obviously don't know Mrs PNA at all and she's probably a very lovely lady but its the impression I'm getting that makes me picture a person as described by the words I used in my previous post.

maman

Dimey wrote: »

You're right Maman.
Sometimes I'm way too blunt and undiplomatic. I do apologise. Do you think I ought to edit or delete my post?

In the meantime to explain to PNA & everyone, I obviously don't know Mrs PNA at all and she's probably a very lovely lady but its the impression I'm getting that makes me picture a person as described by the words I used in my previous post.

No, don't worry, you did say it was a shorthand take on how Mrs pna comes across. I'm sure pna when he posts will explain his own view on his wife's attitude.

markdebby

No up date in a while. Things must be going well

joanne109

You have the patience of a saint and have to be admired. :A


As a lurker from day 1 - I 100% agree

Joanne