How do I curb wife's spending

cannyscot_2

I think she is spoiled! Both my hubby and I earn quite a lot. I spend max £20 week on lunches for work -usually much less-maybe even £10. -this week £4.40 last 3 days. We very rarely eat out / stick to a food budget for 4 people of £240. -eat very well thanks. My children are careful as well. My eldest at uni can live on very little. We are not tight -if we wanted something important we would have it -but we decide what to spend on and dont buy coffees as that would seem like a daft thing to spend money on.

I buy clothes on ebay or in the charity shop.

We have had phases of being very short-long story- and we have learnt through money saving expert just how much money we were wasting and changed our ways . I would not go back to wasting money now. It all seems daft. I watch my cousin -who always tells me she is short of money-buying dinner/coffee/jeans/tops/takeaways-and I have come to the conclusion she just cannot add up ie 52 takeaways at £20 is > £1000- enough for the holiday she resents us having!

londonTiger

All i can say is I empatise with you, it seems you have married a golddigger.

Did you meet when you were doing well for yourself by any chance?

maman

Pay_no_attention wrote: »

Well we did start the month of September with only £245. I used £55 to replace money that was missing from August. That's why i am inclined to throw another £50 into the kitty. But on the other hand will she just think I will do this all the time if I do it this once.
Their will be no incentive for her to try and budget.
For anyone that has been reading the whole thread. Remember the cash tin I purchased? Well I started using it the beginning of September. That went down like a lead balloon!i used to put the bill money in 4 different tins every week, now I use about 10 envelopes inside a cash tin. My wife has asked for a key at least twice now but so far I have succeeded in avoiding doing so. I just could not handle more stress of the bill money going missing then me trying to have to replace it.

On her past record, I can see no reason for your wife having a key. If logistically you need her to pay a bill then just give her that specific envelope on the day and hope for the best.

I see your dilemma about topping up the grocery money. perhaps a better solution is for you to buy the absolute minimum of fresh food needed to supplement storecupboard/freezer items and see you through the rest of the month. At least that way none of the top-up would go on coffees or other wants rather than needs. It does mean you're having to take control and treat her rather like a spoiled child but I think, for your peace of mind, it's a better way forward.

Look forward to October and £300 lasting! Have you given serious thought to meal planning and a spending diary?

Dimey

I remember the cash box idea PNA and it's obviously doing the job you intended it to. Sadly you can't trust your wife with a key otherwise she'll swipe cash for herself and leave legitimate family budgets empty. She has no need to go into the cash box.
If she asks again I'd ask her to stop keep asking because she knows why its not safe to give her a key and the family need to save those pots for family expenditure.

Well done on deducting the August debt from September. Unfortunately Mrs PNA didn't economise in September to adjust to her overspend in August so that's why you are now spent out at Sep 18. Not because the £300 per month is wrong.

Of course you can't keep deducting Mrs PNA's overspend from the previous month otherwise you'll end up starting with zero. Ha Ha.

My suggestion would be that because Mrs PNA proved she can't yet manage the budget properly. Then you take over the food budget till end October. You might have to subsidize this month a little but manage October with £300. That way you'll prove to both Mrs PNA and yourself that the family can live on £300 per month. Maybe keep a food spending diary as you go and split your budget into say £60 per week with some contingency left over..

Mrs PNA can take over in November and use the food spending diary to help her understand how to manage the budget properly.

Great news you cleared that debt.

kelpie35

£300 per month for 3 people.

I think you are being very generous.

carol1963_2

I too have been lurking and reading your thread and many, many congratulations for doing so well. We are just starting our journey and I hope we can do as well as you paynoattention. Well done.

If you or any others can help me with how to manage a grocery spending diary/budget that would be great, I at the moment seem stuck!!!!! Keep going.

Pay_no_attention

londonTiger wrote: »

All i can say is I empatise with you, it seems you have married a golddigger.

Did you meet when you were doing well for yourself by any chance?

Simplest and quickest answer without going into too much detail is "yes"

Pay_no_attention

maman wrote: »

On her past record, I can see no reason for your wife having a key. If logistically you need her to pay a bill then just give her that specific envelope on the day and hope for the best.

I see your dilemma about topping up the grocery money. perhaps a better solution is for you to buy the absolute minimum of fresh food needed to supplement storecupboard/freezer items and see you through the rest of the month. At least that way none of the top-up would go on coffees or other wants rather than needs. It does mean you're having to take control and treat her rather like a spoiled child but I think, for your peace of mind, it's a better way forward.

Look forward to October and £300 lasting! Have you given serious thought to meal planning and a spending diary?

I have been out this morning and purchased a few items of ingredients to go with stuff we already have in the cupboards and freezer to make complete meals.
This should get us past the weekend.
The more I think about it maybe I should break the £300 down to a weekly budget,then maybe not so tempting to go and spend a large amount all at once at the beginning of the month.

jayss

It's sometimes worth splitting it in 2, a budget for things you need weekly and things you need monthly, doing a monthly shop with the monthly (plus 1 week) budget then the rest of the month have weekly amounts.

Pay_no_attention

Dimey wrote: »

I remember the cash box idea PNA and it's obviously doing the job you intended it to. Sadly you can't trust your wife with a key otherwise she'll swipe cash for herself and leave legitimate family budgets empty. She has no need to go into the cash box.
If she asks again I'd ask her to stop keep asking because she knows why its not safe to give her a key and the family need to save those pots for family expenditure.

Well done on deducting the August debt from September. Unfortunately Mrs PNA didn't economise in September to adjust to her overspend in August so that's why you are now spent out at Sep 18. Not because the £300 per month is wrong.

Of course you can't keep deducting Mrs PNA's overspend from the previous month otherwise you'll end up starting with zero. Ha Ha.

My suggestion would be that because Mrs PNA proved she can't yet manage the budget properly. Then you take over the food budget till end October. You might have to subsidize this month a little but manage October with £300. That way you'll prove to both Mrs PNA and yourself that the family can live on £300 per month. Maybe keep a food spending diary as you go and split your budget into say £60 per week with some contingency left over..

Mrs PNA can take over in November and use the food spending diary to help her understand how to manage the budget properly.

Great news you cleared that debt.

I'm going to continue with the £300 to Mrs PNA as planned for October then that means we have tried it for 3 months half of which is with 4 of us living together and half with the three of us.
I'm keeping a note of August shortfall and any extra I spend in September.