How do I curb wife's spending

AlwaysHappy

I totally agree with the points that others have made, you need to stand firm, any extra spends need to be taken from your wifes spends allowance next month and please do not give in. It is a very sad situation to feel that you can't leave money in the house for bills without worrying she will take some. If she does, what does that say about her priorities?

System

Was there any money missing once you got home?

Pay_no_attention

I got back Wednesday afternoon in total for August have a 55 overspend. I have deducted this from the money I have set aside for September but not give her the budget yet.
I wonder what kind of reaction I'm going to get. I suppose for the first month it was inevitable it was going to run over the 300. Maybe 300 is still unrealistic for a family of 4. If its a similar amount the next couple of months maybe I should up it to 350.
My biggest problem at the moment was going back to the UK property and discovering approx 3 to 5k of damage that needs to be put right before its let again. The only way I can pay for this work is on a credit card until we can try and claim from the tenants.
It's also proving very difficult to organise when you in a different country to the property.

ViolaLass

Pay_no_attention wrote: »

I got back Wednesday afternoon in total for August have a 55 overspend. I have deducted this from the money I have set aside for September but not give her the budget yet.
I wonder what kind of reaction I'm going to get. I suppose for the first month it was inevitable it was going to run over the 300. Maybe 300 is still unrealistic for a family of 4. If its a similar amount the next couple of months maybe I should up it to 350.
My biggest problem at the moment was going back to the UK property and discovering approx 3 to 5k of damage that needs to be put right before its let again. The only way I can pay for this work is on a credit card until we can try and claim from the tenants.
It's also proving very difficult to organise when you in a different country to the property.

1. Please don't tell your wife that you're thinking this. She will have no incentive to stick to the budget.
2. Isn't your daughter leaving home?
3. £300 should be fine. Fewer coffees would help.

triple_choc_chip

I would suggest something slightly different, that is not deduct the £55 from the next month's budget. If she didn't manage with £300 she hasn't a chance of doing it with £245!

Instead I would say to her that only £55 over was a good 1st effort, but lets see if we can succeed this month and keep to £300. At the end of the day by past experience you know it could have been over by double so it seems she has made an effort and it would be encouraging to recognise that.

Pay_no_attention

Yes my daughter leaves on the 7th September. I have not experienced any problems at all with her in the last month. I have helped pay with transporting her belongings back to the UK. I did this out of choice though not because she asked.
I don't know what to do now about next months budget. I have had two conflicting replies and both good suggestions. I have tomorrow to think about it. By then might have had a few more suggestions on how to proceed.

~Chameleon~

Has she accounted for the £55 overspend? Can she see where she needs to reign in her spending a little? If she can identify this then I'd be tempted to give her the full budget for Sept but remind her to take care of her overspend as next month you WILL deduct it from the following month's budget.

gfplux

I agree with triple chock tip,
You should start September with £300 or if you have doubts this is not enough give her a budget of £355. That is what was spent in August. Now lets see if we can do better.

Dimey

triple_choc_chip wrote: »

I would suggest something slightly different, that is not deduct the £55 from the next month's budget. If she didn't manage with £300 she hasn't a chance of doing it with £245!

Instead I would say to her that only £55 over was a good 1st effort, but lets see if we can succeed this month and keep to £300. At the end of the day by past experience you know it could have been over by double so it seems she has made an effort and it would be encouraging to recognise that.

Sorry Triple Choc Chip. I personally think this would be disaster given what we know about Mrs PNA.

This will just reinforce to Mrs PNA that PNA is a soft touch. She'll know that he doesn't mean anything he says and that the goalposts change according to PNA's whims.

That will reinforce her belief that PNA is controlling because he wants to be awkward, not because the family are in expensive debt.

Mrs PNA has been less resentful and less aggressive to PNA. She's starting to understand there are boundaries. I hope PNA reduces the September budget by the £55 overspend. It won't be so hard given the daughter is returning to the UK. But even if it is hard, that's what they've got to get used to.

Where did Mrs PNA get the extra £55 from?

Shame about the damage to the UK house. Hopefully the repairs will be funded from the security deposit the tenants paid.

Hope you get new tenants soon, PNA.

Pay_no_attention

Ok the overspend was in three parts one was for 30 which she borrowed off my daughter whilst I was away. 7 and 18 was taken from other bill money I had in the house again whilst I was away. As far as I'm aware the 55 overspend has all gone on groceries.
I don't know what the 300 was spent on and do not really want to ask for proof.
I can see valid points for both sides of the argument about whether or not to give or take the 55.
The way I look at it some people are not fortunate enough to be able to just increase the budget like that. People who have to survive on benefits can not just go and ask for more money for instance if they overspend.
I'm inclined to do as I said and take the 55 this month see how we do when the daughter has left.
Maybe I will do an average over 3 months, I will make a note that August spend was 355.