How do I curb wife's spending

Dimey

Pay_no_attention wrote: »

Ok the overspend was in three parts one was for 30 which she borrowed off my daughter whilst I was away. 7 and 18 was taken from other bill money I had in the house again whilst I was away. As far as I'm aware the 55 overspend has all gone on groceries.
I don't know what the 300 was spent on and do not really want to ask for proof.
I can see valid points for both sides of the argument about whether or not to give or take the 55.
The way I look at it some people are not fortunate enough to be able to just increase the budget like that. People who have to survive on benefits can not just go and ask for more money for instance if they overspend.
I'm inclined to do as I said and take the 55 this month see how we do when the daughter has left.
Maybe I will do an average over 3 months, I will make a note that August spend was 355.

That makes sense PNA. You'll have a couple of months without your daughter in the UK so will be better able to assess at the end of the 3 month period.

You can tell your wife you'll be reviewing for November onwards if you deduct the £55 from September then she'll know what to expect and you are being consistent and fair to you all.

If Mrs PNA blows the budget again in September, you might have to find out where she's overspending so you can both work out how to overcome in future. Maybe warn her you will need the details if she blows September.

Scritti

Tiglath wrote: »

Honestly, I think you'd be better off (emotionally as well as financially) on your own. Easy for me to say, I know. I would find your situation intolerable.

Sorry but I agree with this 100%.

I speak from experience. If somebody genuinely loves you, they share the bad as well as the good. Everything you wrote just screams get rid of her to me.

Best of luck though.

~Chameleon~

Scritti wrote: »

Sorry but I agree with this 100%.

I speak from experience. If somebody genuinely loves you, they share the bad as well as the good. Everything you wrote just screams get rid of her to me.

Best of luck though.

The title of this thread is "How do I curb my wife's spending?". I don't see him asking for relationship advice, nor whether you think he should end his marriage.

datlex

Hi just been reading through all the posts. One question, have you got tenants yet? If not are you restricted on who you can have in? Or have you put your own restrictions in place? Can you accept Students for example? If you are within travelling distance of a uni, you may find a steady source of income there.
With regards to your wife's spending stop treating her like a child. "Giving" her money is what parents do to children. She is a grown adult.
Personally I would separate out money for bills incl debts and rent (A), money for groceries (B) and money for personal spends into separate accounts(C &D). Pool your money. Ensure there is enough money in account A to pay your bills have all your DDs come from this account and only use the card on this account to pay for bills not covered by DDs. Do an online "shop" for groceries enough to cover a month to calculate how much this costs then budget this plus say 15% for things you've haven't accounted for into account B. Everything else split evenly between your account and your wife's. If you want to save any of yours it is up to you. Same for her.

Pay_no_attention

Just thought I'd check in and let everyone know how things are going. We ran out of shopping budget on the 18th Sept. it's beginning to look like 300 not enough. My daughter left home around the 7th and I thought things would improve. Im thinking I might put another 50 into see us to end of month. Then start again in October when we will have a whole month of just the three of us.
Good news is my outstanding debt is coming down nicely and am now £150 per month better off from October as a debt been cleared. In December another £150 per month as another debt cleared mid November.

System

Hi... I have been lurking on your thread and just wanted to say I think you're doing brilliantly. It's harder to change your lifestyle and clear debt if your partner is not prepared to make the change aswell but can already see huge improvements and by the end of the year 2 debts will have been cleared makes it all worth while

maman

Pay_no_attention wrote: »

Just thought I'd check in and let everyone know how things are going. We ran out of shopping budget on the 18th Sept. it's beginning to look like 300 not enough. My daughter left home around the 7th and I thought things would improve. Im thinking I might put another 50 into see us to end of month. Then start again in October when we will have a whole month of just the three of us.
Good news is my outstanding debt is coming down nicely and am now £150 per month better off from October as a debt been cleared. In December another £150 per month as another debt cleared mid November.

Thanks for keeping us updated. Good news about the cleared debt. I'm sure you'll be using the £150 to help sort out some more. Don't mean to sound patronising or bossy but it's essential that your wife doesn't think that's £150 more for spending.

I must admit I've found it hard to work out why you need more than £300 for shopping especially now there's just 3 of you at home. I think, with some care, £300 is plenty especially as you say that doesn't include things you buy in bulk. Most people on here would think £25 per person per week is fine for all grocery spending. Definitely agree you should start again with £300 in October.

What was the reason for running out of money by 18th?

Granariesgirl

:TWell done for the debt clearing!

I seriously think you guys need a grocery spending diary though, just to work out where it's going...

markdebby

Well done. Keep up the good work:T

Pay_no_attention

maman wrote: »

Thanks for keeping us updated. Good news about the cleared debt. I'm sure you'll be using the £150 to help sort out some more. Don't mean to sound patronising or bossy but it's essential that your wife doesn't think that's £150 more for spending.

I must admit I've found it hard to work out why you need more than £300 for shopping especially now there's just 3 of you at home. I think, with some care, £300 is plenty especially as you say that doesn't include things you buy in bulk. Most people on here would think £25 per person per week is fine for all grocery spending. Definitely agree you should start again with £300 in October.

What was the reason for running out of money by 18th?

Well we did start the month of September with only £245. I used £55 to replace money that was missing from August. That's why i am inclined to throw another £50 into the kitty. But on the other hand will she just think I will do this all the time if I do it this once.
Their will be no incentive for her to try and budget.
For anyone that has been reading the whole thread. Remember the cash tin I purchased? Well I started using it the beginning of September. That went down like a lead balloon!i used to put the bill money in 4 different tins every week, now I use about 10 envelopes inside a cash tin. My wife has asked for a key at least twice now but so far I have succeeded in avoiding doing so. I just could not handle more stress of the bill money going missing then me trying to have to replace it.