How do I curb wife's spending

Pay_no_attention

kelpie35 wrote: »

£300 per month for 3 people.

I think you are being very generous.

I too think £300 per month is enough, unfortunately my wife does not. During the last two months she has mentioned that we need to review the budget or £300 is not enough on numerous occasions.
I really don't want to suggest a spending diary for her, I get told I'm controlling all the time as it is over the family finances. The thing is I'm quite an organised person and she is the complete opposite and I know if she was to start a diary it would not be kept up to date.

Pay_no_attention

cannyscot wrote: »

I think she is spoiled! Both my hubby and I earn quite a lot. I spend max £20 week on lunches for work -usually much less-maybe even £10. -this week £4.40 last 3 days. We very rarely eat out / stick to a food budget for 4 people of £240. -eat very well thanks. My children are careful as well. My eldest at uni can live on very little. We are not tight -if we wanted something important we would have it -but we decide what to spend on and dont buy coffees as that would seem like a daft thing to spend money on.

I buy clothes on ebay or in the charity shop.

We have had phases of being very short-long story- and we have learnt through money saving expert just how much money we were wasting and changed our ways . I would not go back to wasting money now. It all seems daft. I watch my cousin -who always tells me she is short of money-buying dinner/coffee/jeans/tops/takeaways-and I have come to the conclusion she just cannot add up ie 52 takeaways at £20 is > £1000- enough for the holiday she resents us having!

So you manage your monthly shop on £240? Would you mind sharing sort of things you buy maybe I can glean a few ideas to make suggestions. Although I still know what the biggest part of the budget is going on and that's coffees and snacks out.
I am now almost back to my earning level of 2008 and yet I feel I have to keep it secret from my wife as she would just see extra nights out or purchases when all I'm interested in is getting debt paid off.
I WILL NEVER GET IN THAT SITUATION AGAIN. Once my debt is cleared I'm determined to remain as savvy as I have become.
My debt repayments are going to slow right down until we manage to find a new tenant for the house in UK. I'm now paying for a empty house on a mortgage and full council tax! Besides all the other associated expenses.
Winter is round the corner and my commission drops off considerably as not so many events taking place. So I can see the next few months being a bit tough.

Pay_no_attention

carol1963 wrote: »

I too have been lurking and reading your thread and many, many congratulations for doing so well. We are just starting our journey and I hope we can do as well as you paynoattention. Well done.

If you or any others can help me with how to manage a grocery spending diary/budget that would be great, I at the moment seem stuck!!!!! Keep going.

We have a similar amount of outstanding debt:)

ellerose

jayss wrote: »

It's sometimes worth splitting it in 2, a budget for things you need weekly and things you need monthly, doing a monthly shop with the monthly (plus 1 week) budget then the rest of the month have weekly amounts.

Do you meal plan, OP? Seems hassle at first but saves you money no end!! I meal plan for a full month, which lets me do a big Aldi shop at the beginning of the month for everything non-perishable or freezable for the month. Then all I need is a fresh food top up and that for two of us is usually less than a tenner as it's just milk and veg, really.

ellerose

Pay_no_attention wrote: »

I'm now paying for a empty house on a mortgage and full council tax!

Correct me if I'm wrong but do you have to pay council tax for an empty house? Doesn't that make it exempt?

NinjaSavingKat

Pay_no_attention wrote: »

I WILL NEVER GET IN THAT SITUATION AGAIN. Once my debt is cleared I'm determined to remain as savvy as I have become.

I have been watching this thread since you started. It enthralls me and annoys me at the same time...:)..I am a big fat whole-heartedly unashamedly penny-pinching miser sometimes and hold a single minded focus on what I want... to get debt free and stay that way..

What if your wife does not? You get debt free with no help from her, and she still doesn't "get it"...?

What then...?

maman

Pay_no_attention wrote: »

I have been out this morning and purchased a few items of ingredients to go with stuff we already have in the cupboards and freezer to make complete meals.
This should get us past the weekend.
The more I think about it maybe I should break the £300 down to a weekly budget,then maybe not so tempting to go and spend a large amount all at once at the beginning of the month.

Pay_no_attention wrote: »

I too think £300 per month is enough, unfortunately my wife does not. During the last two months she has mentioned that we need to review the budget or £300 is not enough on numerous occasions.
I really don't want to suggest a spending diary for her, I get told I'm controlling all the time as it is over the family finances. The thing is I'm quite an organised person and she is the complete opposite and I know if she was to start a diary it would not be kept up to date.

carol1963 wrote: »

If you or any others can help me with how to manage a grocery spending diary/budget that would be great, I at the moment seem stuck!!!!! Keep going.

£300 really is enough for anyone who's trying to save money and eat reasonably well on as little as possible. I would add that my DH and I don't count alcoholic drinks in that budget. We mostly drink at home and so consider that our separate 'entertainment' budget.;)

My way of doing things is fairly simple. Like you pno, I have built up quite a bit of stuff in the freezer and storecupboards over time by buying stuff when I see it on offer or if I happen to be near a shop that sells bargains. So carol, I'd suggest that bit by bit you build up your storecupboard/freezer. It's really helpful as you can fall back on that when times are really tight. What I do each week is do a very simple meal plan of 7 (or fewer if we're eating out) meals we can have for supper. I decide on the meals by looking at what I've got in stock first and then write my shopping list for fresh stuff ingredients to go with that to make meals. I generally plan in a few flexible freezer meals (ideally HM like Bolognese or chilli) just in case I'm pushed for time or we go out unexpectedly. I make sure we have an ongoing stock of breakfast ingredients (cereal/muesli/yogurt/fruit/eggs) and something suitable for lunches (this will vary depending on whether you need to make pack-ups or eat at home). I do my main shop in Aldi and then Sainsbury's for things I can't get there.

I'll do another post of the sort of things we eat on our budget.

Dimey

Pay_no_attention wrote: »

I'm going to continue with the £300 to Mrs PNA as planned for October then that means we have tried it for 3 months half of which is with 4 of us living together and half with the three of us.
I'm keeping a note of August shortfall and any extra I spend in September.

Fair enough. That's fair.
Tell her what you all need of her :-)

kelpie35

I know this suggestion does not help your wife to take responsibility for her spending but would it not take some pressure off yourself if you took over the message shopping for the next month.

It would let her see how much it costs and show her it can be done.

I really think you need to seriously think about your relationship as your wife is showing you no respect and is putting you under so much pressure with her spending and is not willing to make many sacrifices.

I think you are doing a marvelous job in getting your debt down and wish you the very best on this journey.

maman

It's difficult for me to do a full week's plan as we have loads of family birthdays in September and we've been eating out a lot.:) So the plan for the coming week is just 5 evening meals:

1. cold gammon, cauliflower cheese, sweet potato wedges
2. frozen fish, broccoli, green beans, new potatoes, baked tomatoes and mushrooms
3. chicken stir fry with rice
4. liver & onions gravy with cabbage, carrots, peas and mash
5. spaghetti Bolognese

All the things in bold I've already got in the freezer/storecupboard and some bits of veg left from last week.

All I needed to buy in Aldi was cauliflower, broccoli, new potatoes, tomatoes, mushrooms, mange tout, spring onions, carrots, large plain yogurt, eggs and fruit (grapes and raspberries as we've got bananas and pears left).

As it's only 5 suppers, this came to less than £20 so I bought a gammon joint as they had some nice lean ones. I'll keep that for another week. I'll boil it myself, slice it and freeze some for another meal. With the stock I'll do carrot and lentil soup for lunches.

Only other shopping was bread in Sainsbury's.

This is a very low spending week (I allow £50 for two of us) but I probably won't need more than £30 BUT I can do it because all the other bits and pieces I buy over time in bulk and store them up.

I'm more than happy to help with any advice needed but on the OS boards there are heaps of meal planning ideas for anyone interested.