Grown up children living at home

Person_one

Dunroamin wrote: »

Grown children return to live in their parents' home on a regular basis - that doesn't mean that it's still their home.

If they live there, that's their home. That's what home means.

coolcait

Mrs_Cullen wrote: »

Hi daughter has just finished uni and is now living at home. I am finding it hard after we have had our own space. Am I being unreasonable when she wants to hang out with us I can't be bothered, this usually happens when her friends are busy. For example she has no work this week so is bored, quote we better find something to do or I will go mad, since when is it my problem. Am I being to harsh.

Did you mean that you can't be bothered hanging out with your daughter, full stop? (which might be considered harsh)

Or, are you saying:

"My daughter has moved back home after finishing uni, and I am finding it hard after we have had our own space.

If her friends are busy, or has no work to do, she gets bored and wants to hang out with us - or expects us to find something to do so that she doesn't "go mad". I don't see why a young adult needs to be entertained - just because her friends are busy - so I find I can't be bothered. Is this unreasonable?"

I don't think the second version is unreasonable or harsh. I think it's an important life lesson for your daughter to find out that it's not someone else's job to entertain her.

The way your OP comes across, however, does sound harsh, uncaring and unreasonable.

2gorgeousgirls

Haven't read the whole thread.

I don't know what your relationship with your daughter is like and I haven't got to the uni stage with my children yet so haven't had that break from them.

My mum was always too busy to spend time with me when I was younger so we're not close and I visit her because I feel I have to, not because I want to. Be grateful that your daughter wants to spend time with you, take what you can get.

I know that it is a natural part of growing up that children develop their independence and mothers become less important in their lives - I am dreading that time coming. I really, really hope that I have a good relationship with my girls as they get older and that they want to spend time with me instead of feeling (as I do with my mum) that visiting me is a compulsory chore.

Dunroamin

PasturesNew wrote: »

Many kids, me included, wouldn't have wanted to be around when their parents' friends are round..... I'd have gone out.

I skim read it, thought the mother was being mithered by the daughter to hang out.

Sorry if I wasn't clear. The OP says that her daughter only wants to hang out when her own friends (not her mother's) aren't available to her. That's what I think is an insult.

Dunroamin

Person_one wrote: »

That's recent though, isn't it? Assuming that people will/should live like students or as lodgers until their mid to late twenties.

Not unless you think that the 70s is recent but I thought that was my prerogative!;)