Family law advice, can anyone help? **update**

teabag29

Following on from this thread (thanks for all the advice) there has been an update. So my niece has spent her b'day with her dad and had a lovely weekend, however she has been getting increasingly frustrated about going back to her mum.

My brother sat her down today and had a heart to heart with her (telling her how the distance wont change anythin g and that he'll still see her all the time and phone her and loves her just as much as he always did etc and that in time she will settle in) and she began to open up to him and things are now even more complicated.

Basically she has opened up about why she wants to live with her dad and not go back to her mum..... it seems that aside from bundling her into a car mid week after school with no warning or chance to say bye to her dad or friends and move her 80 miles away to a strange place 7 weeks ago (and still put no schooling in place) that there has also been violence against the children. To cut a long story short the maternal grandmother has smacked my nephew very hard twice causing him to scream and run off and then the grandfather ran after him and pinned him up and went to hit him until the mother told him to just leave it, this was in full view of my niece who was too scared to stand up to him (my nephew is only 10). The week before this the grandfather also assaulted his other grand daughter (my nieces cousin) who is only 6 by pulling her hair back so they were cheek to cheek and threatening her making her cry and scared and locked in the bedroom all day, again in full view of my niece and nephew.

My niece has opened up alot about things shes been hiding because shes been too afraid to tell (threats made by her mum that contact with dad will stop if she tells him whats happened, calls on loud speaker, getting my niece to pick her bro up from school because she cant be bothered and going to her sisters every night with the children and getting drunk amongst other things).

She is adament that she does not want to go back to her mum and is very worried/scared of the possibility of having to do so, she is also (as my brother now is) worried about her brother and whether or not he is safe as she knows he is too scared to tell her on the phone because he is on loudspeaker.

My brother does not know what to do for the best so today consulted the child law advice line who advised him to put in for parental responsibility and residence order together (if he wants residency as the daughter is adament she wants to live with her dad and is 12 so is gillick competent) and that if he is worried about the safety of his son and other daughters safety (10 and 2) that he should put his application through as an emergency which will hopefully be looked at this week.

He is unsure what to do because although he would love to have his daughter live with him if thats what she wants, he doesnt want to a) split up his son from his ex if his son wants to stay with her and b) risk the application being declined and his ex demanding his daughter be returned home as she is petrified, at the same time he is obviously worried about their safety particularly at the hands of their maternal grandparents and the fact that their mum hasnt protected them.

He doesnt know what to do for the best and im not sure what to advise

neneromanova

Does he have PR for all the kids?

teabag29

Well they aren't married but were together for 14 years and he is on all the birth certificates

neneromanova

This is only my opinion:

If he has PR I'd be tempted to keep the children at his house and not return them. if she kicks up a stink, she has to go to court to get them back and he can state that they have been uprooted, disrupted and hate it where they live now.

Do they still have a place at their old school?

teabag29

Ah, just looked up on this and seems he has PR for the youngest one as he registered the birth with the mother after 2003 but the other 2 were born before this so he doesnt have automatic PR. So i'm guessing this would be the first step, to apply to court for this?

RAS

An unmarried father can only get legal responsibility for his child in 1 of 3 ways:

• jointly registering the birth of the child with the mother (from 1 December 2003)
• getting a parental responsibility agreement with the mother
• getting a parental responsibility order from a court

It is quite possible that he does not have PR for either of the elder children.

You need to find out pronto.

teabag29

No they dont have a place at their old school as she rang and de-registered them to avoid a fine for them missing time off (she took them out for a holiday last year and lied that they were ill, went to court and proved a liar and got fined. She was also convicted for commiting benefit fraud).

Thing is because she knew the kids wouldnt like it and miss their dad she has spolit them rotten with sweets etc to get them 'won over' and at present the boy (11 in october) although misses his dad greatly and is keen to stay with him at weekends wants to stay with his mum. I dont think this will last though, the boy has behaviour problems and his dad is the only one he responds to (his mums just screams and gets stressed at him and he gets worse). He doesnt adapt well to change and I think once he starts school over there he will go off the rails

teabag29

Then he has PR for the youngest one as he registered the birth with the mother after 2003 but the other 2 were born before this so he doesnt have automatic PR. So i'm guessing this would be the first step, to apply to court for this? but wont he need a solicitor for this and that will be costly, at present he has no income, his ssp has just ran out and he is awaiting on a claim on esa but that wont cover the cost of a solicitor.

On top of that because hes now a single person in a 2 bed house the council are preparing to evict him and he has had a bundle of overdue bills come through because she cancelled direct debits months ago (without telling him so this was obviously planned) and kept it from him

RAS

Your brother needs to check wikidivorce (they may have a section on PR as a lot of people marry after having children) and Families needs fathers.

He can do his own court case.

Without PR it is going to be easy for her to stop the older children having any access or from living with their father.

Gigglepig

It sounds like there is already a strained situation between the parens, if I were the OP I would be very cautious to do anything which could inflame this further. OP it sounds like you have a lot of negative feelings about this woman and interpret her actions in the worst possible light. in order for your family to have the best possible relationship with the kids, it may pay out to respect and keep on good terms with this woman.

Can your brother and his ex go to mediation/relate etc for some unbiased help in discussing these issues, and finding good solutions for the kids? It may help to have a formalised access agreement as well as an agreement about child maintenance.

I hope your brother's health improves too.

Guest101

right, apply for PR pronto, then keep the kids. dont even argue it. He has every right. The court can then decide what to do.

Her actioned (and past) will work against her.