I feel a bit jealous

cats2012

This is ridiculous. I got engaged just as I finished Uni, we wanted to get married sooner rather than later but luckily I got a good job so we had a mid-price wedding 2 years on. But if I hadn't got that job we'd have still got married, just much cheaper.

Good for them

Stephb1986_2

I guess it's their choice to be engaged like it's your choice not to be engaged it's also their choice how long they take to get married. Is it affecting your life? No, so what's the big deal. You should be happy for them!

Ilovesaving20

Deleted...

GoldenShadow

No matter what stats look like on paper sometimes how you know people can affect your opinion on what is and isn't a great idea, but its their lives.

This is why I am quite keen to have a quiet wedding, I hate all the attention that comes with engagement/marriage, I just want to be Mrs GoldenShadow! There is lots of weird peer pressure too which is why I'm glad there is little in our families. OH's brother and his OH never intend to marry (been together several years) and I am the youngest of my siblings and the only one in a long term relationship. So its nice to not have any of it around us, or people asking and wondering because so and so got married aged so and so!

Try and keep out of it, not be judgemental otherwise than in your head, and just let it flow. Easier said than done, but you know!

paulineb_2

You are traditional, in that you want a short engagement before you get married, but you live with your bf?

Surely its ok to do what you and your bf are doing and its ok to do what they are doing.

If its causing family friction, why? Its their lives and you arent directly related to the people getting engaged.

j.e.j.

maybe the parents are putting pressure on..

NervousHomeowner

Ilovesaving20 wrote: »

Maybe this will make things clearer: we live together and have about 30k in savings, they don't and they have no savings. I really do think that's a great foundation but if you do then cool.

Plenty of people will never have the earning potential to amass that much in savings though, does that mean they should never get married? What do you think 'poor' people do?

I can totally understand why you think it is important to be financially secure before getting married - especially if, for you, getting married means things like buying a house, starting a family etc. but surely you realise that your situation (Living together, having 30k in savings at the tender age of 21) is not typical of the whole of the population?

fabforty

Ilovesaving20 wrote: »

Maybe this will make things clearer: we live together and have about 30k in savings, they don't and they have no savings. I really do think that's a great foundation but if you do then cool.

Yes that does make it much clearer.

You and your boyfriend are older, live together, have a large savings pot, and have been together for the same length of time as your brother and his partner - yet they are engaged, while you are still waiting for a proposal. I'd be !!!!ed off, I mean 'jealous' too .

paulineb_2

The OP isnt older, theyve said they are 21.

And if the OP also wanted to get engaged to her partner, given that they are financially secure, theres not much stopping them if thats what they also want to do.

GwylimT

So you're more mature, well if you were you wouldn't be jealous about someone else getting engaged, and I have no idea how having some savings makes good foundations for a relationship, money is meaningless.