I feel a bit jealous

Georgiegirl256

Torry_Quine wrote: »

It is an individual choice how long an engagement is but I for one don't understand the we're engaged and the wedding will be in some vague point in the future. However if a couple aren't yet ready for marriage then that's up to them.

Because not everyone can afford to get married straightaway. Ok, you can have a simple cheap wedding organised fairly quickly (which s what we did), or if you want a bigger wedding, then unless your parents are paying/you have savings, then the majority of people will have to save. This could take a few years, so putting a ring on it, is some peoples way of showing of showing their commitment to the world.

thorsoak

Torry_Quine wrote: »

It is an individual choice how long an engagement is but I for one don't understand the we're engaged and the wedding will be in some vague point in the future. However if a couple aren't yet ready for marriage then that's up to them.

In the past (early 60s) it was an acknowledgement of the fact that we intended to get married (might even have had a notice published in the hatches matches & despatches column of the local paper - can't really remember ). The wedding would take place once we had saved enough to set up home together - remember in those days we left our parents' homes to our married homes in most cases!

Torry_Quine

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Because not everyone can afford to get married straightaway. Ok, you can have a simple cheap wedding organised fairly quickly (which s what we did), or if you want a bigger wedding, then unless your parents are paying/you have savings, then the majority of people will have to save. This could take a few years, so putting a ring on it, is some peoples way of showing of showing their commitment to the world.

Which is why I said it's about choice.

I think it does make a difference if you aren't living together before marriage. When I got engaged we starting planning our wedding within a short time and also started looking for a home to buy as we were of course still living at home. Neither of us saved specifically as we'd been working since leaving school at 17 and we were engaged at 24 so had 7 years of savings to use for our deposit and wedding.

thorsoak

Torry_Quine wrote: »

Which is why I said it's about choice.

I think it does make a difference if you aren't living together before marriage. When I got engaged we starting planning our wedding within a short time and also started looking for a home to buy as we were of course still living at home. Neither of us saved specifically as we'd been working since leaving school at 17 and we were engaged at 24 so had 7 years of savings to use for our deposit and wedding.

I got engaged 8 months after leaving school - so saving started after the engagement! OH had just finished the apprentice-ship part of his training so he was still on trainee wages too!

heartbreak_star

thorsoak wrote: »

(might even have had a notice published in the hatches matches & despatches column of the local paper !

That's given me a chuckle - never heard it called that

HBS x