I feel a bit jealous

GwylimT

Ilovesaving20 wrote: »

Sorry but it's not, the only other engaged people I know are teen mothers.

Ah, so when you claimed it wasn't the done thing to get engaged at 21 in your area, you meant that most people have been engaged for years by then and with multiple children.

thorsoak

GwylimT wrote: »

Ah, so when you claimed it wasn't the done thing to get engaged at 21 in your area, you meant that most people have been engaged for years by then and with multiple children.

Ah-ha ....one of those areas where it is very "posh" to get married and not have three children first :cool::cool::cool:

marisco_2

Ilovesaving20 wrote: »

Traditionally couples get engaged in order to get married, not to have a prolonged gap between engagement and marriage.

I think the gap between engagement and marriage is irrelevant. That is an individual choice for each couple and shouldn't have any impact on anyone else. Whether they are engaged for 1 week, 1 month or 1 year or more before marrying is no indication of their commitment to each other. What counts is that before getting engaged they each feel happy and secure enough in their relationship, to want to make a lifetime commitment to each other. I think you should just be happy for them and respect the fact that they are mature enough to know what they are doing. Focus on enjoying your own relationship and stop over analysing how others are handling their lives.

sulkisu

Ilovesaving20 wrote: »

Because I'm not. If my boyfriend proposed (which he wouldn't) then I'd say no.

Don't lie. You'd bite his hand off .

jinty271

deleted. Can't be bothered with snobbery.

Georgiegirl256

Ilovesaving20 wrote: »

No, in fact I think they'd be quite embarrassed if I got engaged at 21, it's not the done thing in my area.






Hahaha! I'm not waiting for a proposal though, not until I'm about 24. When I was 18 I wanted to get married at 22 but now I'm 21 I realise that was over ambitious. Btw I'm not materialistic and will be having my reception in family grounds (hopefully!)

There's not much more to say as its already been said, but as well as coming across as being so jealous, you also come across as being abit of a snob too....

Leave the happy couple be.

liney

Pollycat wrote: »

Absolutely spot on.

If the OP's boyfriend's brother & his new bride-to-be ever read what she'd written about them on here, I guess there'd be hell to pay.

Well she wouldn't have to worry about the embarassment of attending the wedding, no doubt.

paulineb_2

marisco wrote: »

I think the gap between engagement and marriage is irrelevant. That is an individual choice for each couple and shouldn't have any impact on anyone else. Whether they are engaged for 1 week, 1 month or 1 year or more before marrying is no indication of their commitment to each other. What counts is that before getting engaged they each feel happy and secure enough in their relationship, to want to make a lifetime commitment to each other. I think you should just be happy for them and respect the fact that they are mature enough to know what they are doing. Focus on enjoying your own relationship and stop over analysing how others are handling their lives.

I also think its irrelevant. And I dont give a hoot about tradition either, because my views are my views, they dont impact on anyone else.

If two people believe in not living together before marriage thats absolutely their choice. And if some people want to be engaged and marry soon after then thats up to them as well.

Someone doing things a different way wont upset your life if you believe something different.

I will say though, I mentioned my friends above, none of the people I spoke about above are still together. One marriage broke down (for very good reason) after a few months, in fact my friend should never have gone through with the marriage, but pressure was put on her to do so, not least because her family had spent a lot of money.

Another friend stayed with her husband for about 6 years, but again, looking back, the writing was on the wall long before that.

I do believe in marriage, my gran and grandpa had a 35 year marriage that only ended when he died and she lived for 30 years after that so if he had lived, they would have been together a long time.

But Ive also seen the rough side of marriage and my view was/is, that I wouldnt get married until I found someone I really wanted to be with and who treated me decently, so far, thats never happened. I almost got married quite young, looking back, very glad I didnt.

But, having a whole 3 people in my family and not being religious, there is no way I would ever spend a bomb on getting married. But other people will want to and thats up to them. Some people want a long engagement, some people a quick engagement, some will live together first, some wont.

You do what is right for you and what makes you happy at that time.

And we can all pass judgements on other people. I remember two of my friends asking me before they got married, should I marry my bf and I said no, because at that time it was obvious they really werent happy but they did, more to please their families than themselves I expect.

As I said before, if someone makes a monumental boo boo, all you can do is pick them back up, not say I told you so and be there for them in their times of upset.

LouLou

I will never, ever understand people who stick their noses in. Nobody ever knows the full story of another's life, and judging someone by the "façade" they show the world is just plain silly, as well as out of order.

I wish people well when there is happy news. And I feel that, if we all, as individuals, only showed that intense amount of interest in our own lives, the world would be a happier place.

Sounds like OP has a lot of life to live and a lot of growing up to do! Plainly put: Mind your own business

Torry_Quine

marisco wrote: »

I think the gap between engagement and marriage is irrelevant. That is an individual choice for each couple and shouldn't have any impact on anyone else. Whether they are engaged for 1 week, 1 month or 1 year or more before marrying is no indication of their commitment to each other. What counts is that before getting engaged they each feel happy and secure enough in their relationship, to want to make a lifetime commitment to each other. I think you should just be happy for them and respect the fact that they are mature enough to know what they are doing. Focus on enjoying your own relationship and stop over analysing how others are handling their lives.

It is an individual choice how long an engagement is but I for one don't understand the we're engaged and the wedding will be in some vague point in the future. However if a couple aren't yet ready for marriage then that's up to them.