Have you cut out a close family member from your life?

shoppaholic_returns

My husbands family have been evil to him for years, and since I came along they have Been the same to me, his sister who is single and 40 +, is incredibly jealous of our home, jobs,relationship etc. his mother sides with sister, wrong or not. And after years of sitting at their house being either got at, or been rude to, the final straw of MIL saying she did not want a wedding picture with me on. Just one with her and my OH, I didn't really know what to say or do.

Basically, we haven't seen or spoken to any of them for some months now and we actually feel more relaxed and less stressed about life in general and we don't have to deal with that lot in our free time, it's brilliant!!!

geoffky

My wife has not spoken to her brother for twenty odd years because of the women he married and some trouble she caused in my wife's family(never asked the full story) Her parents have not spoken to him either and he is written out of the will..
but i really find it so sad as i lost my younger sister when she was 18 and would give the world to talk to her today..
If it is possible i hope that one day they will be friends again.

alias*alibi

I've cut my mother and brother and step-sister out of my life. It's hard but I know its for the best. I've kept a lid on my brothers lifestyle choices for years but it all came to a head about 4 years ago and I let rip. My mum trying to play the diplomatic was trying to keep us both happy but ended up alienating me in the process and my step-sister refused to believe something i told her in confidence so to keep myself sane I've cut ties. Also when I was going through 18 months of hell my mum didn't come to see me once (lives in USA) and would give me pep talks over the phone with her tough love approach which wasn't appropriate at times. I mean who needs to be told to go buy a lottery ticket as I've had a run of good luck finding out that mt OH had made the OW pregnant; plus two family funerals (being step dad's daughters and mums older sister) they didn't go to but put themselves out for friends funerals. Hard nosed cow. I haven't spoken to her now for 16 months although she does send DD cards for birthdays, Christmas etc with a narcissistic 'we love and miss you dearly' written inside. Not sure whose benefit that is for, truly my DD's or mine for them not having no contact with her. Problem is she could pick the phone up and speak to DD but she just doesn't bother.

Yeah it hurts like hell at times, I am deeply sad my family is so dysfunctional but I can't change them so best to let them get on with it in their own.

JanCee

I have cut my step brother out of my life and my only regret is not doing it sooner.

Mayflower10cat

My Uncle (Mum's brother). When I was 25, he sent my Mum (his only sister) a very long letter outlining why he basically hated all of us, his two nieces & nephew, how we all forgot his birthday and gave him rubbish Christmas presents. That he was shocked that I had the nerve to get married in Church, as I had co-habited for so many years. I could go on, but it was so horrible and so vindictive. My Mum was so upset she had a breakdown. Years went by before she could even send him a neutral Christmas card. Even now we have no idea what prompted the poisonous letter. My Uncle is gay and I suspect always in denial, it's his longterm partner (they're now in a civil partnership) wo has tried his best to keep in touch and sent cards, notes and emails etc. I have not contacted my uncle directly for more than 20 years; I don't need that toxic relationship. He hurt my Mum, his only sister, hugely and has never apologised nor explained. I don't feel guilty as I haven't wronged him.

issie123

I haven't spoken to my sister for 32 years and have not and never will regret it, I can't forgive her affair with my then husband. She no longer exists as far as I'm concerned

ineed

I cut my biological mother out of my life for good due to her being a narcissist and also a sufferer of munchausens syndrome. As far as I know no one in the family or family friends talk to her anymore due to the truly awful things she has done, and I suspect she wouldn't have the nerve to show her face again. I've been blissfully happy not having her in my life for years.

Abbafan1972

alias*alibi wrote: »

I've cut my mother and brother and step-sister out of my life. It's hard but I know its for the best. I've kept a lid on my brothers lifestyle choices for years but it all came to a head about 4 years ago and I let rip. My mum trying to play the diplomatic was trying to keep us both happy but ended up alienating me in the process and my step-sister refused to believe something i told her in confidence so to keep myself sane I've cut ties. Also when I was going through 18 months of hell my mum didn't come to see me once (lives in USA) and would give me pep talks over the phone with her tough love approach which wasn't appropriate at times. I mean who needs to be told to go buy a lottery ticket as I've had a run of good luck finding out that mt OH had made the OW pregnant; plus two family funerals (being step dad's daughters and mums older sister) they didn't go to but put themselves out for friends funerals. Hard nosed cow. I haven't spoken to her now for 16 months although she does send DD cards for birthdays, Christmas etc with a narcissistic 'we love and miss you dearly' written inside. Not sure whose benefit that is for, truly my DD's or mine for them not having no contact with her. Problem is she could pick the phone up and speak to DD but she just doesn't bother.

Yeah it hurts like hell at times, I am deeply sad my family is so dysfunctional but I can't change them so best to let them get on with it in their own.

Sorry, but I'm confused by the highlighted bit.

pigpen

Abbafan1972 wrote: »

Sorry, but I'm confused by the highlighted bit.

Is it not that the other half got another woman pregnant? .. Looks fairly obvious to me.

SuzieSue

Tiglath wrote: »

I've dramatically reduced the time I spend with my mother and sister and nieces - I just can't stand the noise and drama, especially when each one whines to me about the others, and they ask for advice but then ignore it at every turn and still expect me to spend time and money sorting out their problems. Not seeing the older niece is a particular blessing - she's just vile. A few months ago I realised it was making me ill with worry, so I made a conscious decision to reduce contact and I don't feel guilty about it. My mother admitted recently she's never been there for me and that all her energy has gone into my co-dependent sister and her kids. They're the only 'family' I have but they're just too much.

This is my situation too. I am very sad at not seeing my niece as she is lovely and it makes me very sad if I think about it so I try not to think about it and when I do, I just make myself remember all the stress I was under and that the stress far outweighs the sadness of not seeing her.