Have you cut out a close family member from your life?

Troutwrestler

I realised sometime ago that my dad would never change. Unreliable and selfish. We now take him or leave him, if he shows up for the kids birthdays or Xmas that's fine, and they are so pleased to see him. If he CBA o well.. Get on with life.

He is the way he is and that's it. Not to say I haven't tried for years to figure out why..but life's too short IMO.

As for my inlaws...I could probably start my own forum about them..I'm just glad I'm not blood related

lemontart

yes I have years ago but most of their children are grown and they had no part in their upbringing. Several of the 6 I know of are in contact with me of their own choice on fb

Jo_F

Yes, my mum, dad, brother and sister. Well more to the point they cut me out, as far as I see it, they are the ones missing out as they never see my kids.

Infact my sister saw my daughter today and looked straight through her as if she wasn't there, so that's a good enough reason to not want to rekindle ties.

*don't mess with my kids*

Fosterdog

I've recently cut my brother out of my life, and so has my mother. It's killing me because I'll now never get to see my only nephew who's still only a baby and I've only seen him five times.

My brother's girlfriend is doing everything possible to poison him against the whole family and he can't see it. They are running up debts then begging my elderly and ill parents for money, they feel bad and bail them out and it's got to the stage that the stress was too much and my mother ended up in hospital.

Thankfully she is OK now but we've all said enough is enough and until bro and his girlfriend grow up and stop acting like teenagers and act more like the grown adults they are we wan't nothing more to do with them.

Bluemeanie_2

My sister in law has cut us out of her lives. My Hubby doesn't care and I don't care either. Never really had much to do with her. I have always said I didn't want kids at my wedding and she couldn't/wouldn't accept that fact. She was still offended, even though it clearly wasn't personal. Her 3 boys are unruly and badly behaved and I'm quite intolerant of this, so it was easier for me to just say no children at all. Besides the fact it was our wedding so we had what we wanted!

Calien27

missty25 wrote: »

I have never felt like this about anyone in my life and I'm not someone that falls out with people, I've never really had this feeling of hatred for someone before but over the past 12/14 moths they have caused nothing but grief for me but I know I would not see said children again if I do cut ties.

If I explained all of my issues every thing would get turned back to me as they are never to blame for anything and I would be the one at fault. They would never accept that they behave in this way either.

I guess this is a common factor with the people who are eventually cut out.

My brother is the exact same way, everyone else is at fault, never, ever him. They are completely blind to their own behavior and if you try to bring it up, they will always turn it back on you.

ailuro2

Yes, it's a very hard decision to make, but sometimes to do what's best for your own mental health and general wellbeing you have to do it. Very tough at first, and you will always have a slight niggle about whether you did the right thing, just now and again - for about a nanosecond before you realise how much happier your life is without poisonous people around you.

hayday75

Yes i have ,i cut out my 3 siblings from my life .I have been conned and used by all 3 since my parents died .
It is hard but i believe i made the right decision , just want to concentrate on my own family .....feel sorry for my neices and nephews thou

Fosterdog

Calien27 wrote: »

I guess this is a common factor with the people who are eventually cut out.

My brother is the exact same way, everyone else is at fault, never, ever him. They are completely blind to their own behavior and if you try to bring it up, they will always turn it back on you.

This is exactly the same in my situation with my brother. After they had begged for a lot of money from my parents but were only offered a small amount to help out his girlfriend got really nasty with my mother, even started swearing at her and threatening violence.

When they needed more money the next week my mother was told that if she wanted to see her only grandchild ever again she had to apologise to the girlfriend for her attitude problem and the way she treats her (welcomed her and her children from previous relationship into the family). This is what tipped her over the edge and caused her to be taken to hospital.

I miss having my brother around and really miss my nephew especially as I can't have my own children I was ready to be the doting aunty but the emotional bribery was killing me so I had to say enough is enough. It's not an easy choice and not a week goes by that I don't want to get in touch and hope everything has changed and we can go back to being a normal family.

lindsaygalaxy

SmallL wrote: »

My OH deeply *hates* (its probably more a very deep frustration) his sister due to her life 'choices' and her impact on the rest of the family.
To summarize she is in about 8k debt (to her father) with no grasp of budgeting, has a child, pedigree dog, fish and cats and a partner who is as much use as a chocolate teapot.
However everyone loves her little boy, he is lovely and we only want the best for him. But she tends to use him as a bargaining chip with her dad to get money.

Its a horrible situation and we have poured love and money into trying to fix the relationship between her, her father and us. It's come to a head at the minute where she MUST pay her rent or there will be serious consequences for the family and finances.

Its very hard and i don't envy anyone in similar situations

Sounds like my sister! I wish my parents would do the same before she sucks every inch of life and money out of them, but they would never leave my nieces as they look after them so much. My sister is one if those people that thinks the world owes her a favour and has used the children to get her out of every situation to the cost of thousands. But she never changes. It makes me all so angry.