Jealous friend has sabotaged hen weekend plans

pipkin71

FBaby wrote: »

There are 12 people involved and only you are raising annoyance? How strange, I would have expected the entire party to be highly p*** off and advising friend A to contact the place abroad to see if rooms are still available and telling friend B to go and find new friends.

I'm confused if things have happened as you say that everyone seem to be accepting it but you.

Where does it say that only the OP is annoyed by the situation?

duchy

floss2 wrote: »

TBH it is embarrassing and difficult to admit to yourself, never mind anyone else, that your home life is not as you would wish. And from personal experience I would often accept an invitation and later make an excuse.

Even if you knew it would cost people money-and would you stop them going too just because YOU couldn't go ?

Pollycat

pipkin71 wrote: »

Where does it say that only the OP is annoyed by the situation?

I don't think the OP does say that - but I personally have asked the question below at least twice without answer, the first time was 3 days ago and the OP has posted a few times since then.

Pollycat wrote: »

What do the other 10 friends think about what has happened?

Also:

FBaby wrote: »

There are 12 people involved and only you are raising annoyance? How strange, I would have expected the entire party to be highly p*** off and advising friend A to contact the place abroad to see if rooms are still available and telling friend B to go and find new friends.

I'm confused if things have happened as you say that everyone seem to be accepting it but you.

And this:

paulineb wrote: »

Do the rest of the friends know exactly whats been going on? Whats their view on all this?

In fact, a lot of questions have been asked but the OP hasn't answered many of them.

floss2

floss2 wrote: »

TBH it is embarrassing and difficult to admit to yourself, never mind anyone else, that your home life is not as you would wish. And from personal experience I would often accept an invitation and later make an excuse.

duchy wrote: »

Even if you knew it would cost people money-and would you stop them going too just because YOU couldn't go ?

I was never in that situation, I was trying to illustrate from personal experience that the comments about this person's husband being unable/unwilling to put his children to bed might be a smokescreen for something else.

duchy

floss2 wrote: »

I was never in that situation, I was trying to illustrate from personal experience that the comments about this person's husband being unable/unwilling to put his children to bed might be a smokescreen for something else.

I understand that - but there is a world of difference between saying yes to a night out.....and then making an excuse and sabotaging a trip for eleven people because you're too embarassed to say your husband will make life miserable for weeks if you do go. The first is understandable the second is just plain selfish.

Pollycat

floss2 wrote: »

I was never in that situation, I was trying to illustrate from personal experience that the comments about this person's husband being unable/unwilling to put his children to bed might be a smokescreen for something else.

I can appreciate that but wouldn't it have been kinder, more honest, fairer - not to mention easier on the conscience - to decline at the invitation stage instead of letting people plan around your (never-intended) attendance?

OK, it might not be so much of an issue if it was a buffet evening wedding reception months in advance but (as I said in my post above) in this context, it's actually cost people money.

aileth

Pollycat wrote: »

I can appreciate that but wouldn't it have been kinder, more honest, fairer - not to mention easier on the conscience - to decline at the invitation stage instead of letting people plan around your (never-intended) attendance?

OK, it might not be so much of an issue if it was a buffet evening wedding reception months in advance but (as I said in my post above) in this context, it's actually cost people money.

Totally agree with this - if you know you can't go, why accept? Sounds rather scheming and devious to me if so.

purple.sarah

Does friend A know that friend B is spitefully gossiping about her, deliberately sabotaged the hen party and has no intention of attending the hen party in Blackpool, which seems to have been arranged to accommodate friend B?

When I was getting married I had a 'friend' who said she was going to my hen do and then stood us up, dinner was delayed as we waited for her, wondering if she was OK. When we got through to her she outright lied and said she had been waiting for us and had given up and gone home! Um no, we were there! I said she could still come to the after dinner drinks and she made a point of saying she wouldn't as she was hanging out with my ex! She took his side when we broke up (even though we didn't want people to take sides) and apparently still felt the same way years later, even though he'd moved on! The point is I wish I knew what she was like before she had a chance to disrupt my plans. Friend A deserves to know what she is dealing with. She shouldn't base the hen party plans on Friend B when Friend B has no intention of attending and is obviously not a real friend!

paulineb_2

I said that pages ago, that friend A should be told what friend B has been saying about her.

Stephb1986_2

What I don't understand is, "friend B" said she couldn't go abroad because her husband won't look after the kids. So that plan gets cancelled.

A new plan is arranged but "friend B" said she is happy with that as she can go and tuck her kids in bed after being out a few hours. In that case why didn't "friend B" just back out of the hen night all together and let all the other girls go on the first planned trip instead of making a pigs ear out of it all??

I think it's the green eyed monster and if the OP was a real friend to "Friend A" then she would tell her what "friend B" was up to. OP do the other "friends" ladies that are on the hen night see what is going on as well?