Those who are waiting to TTC (New Thread)

lulu_92

Hi all

cherrylips30 it's good to hear that you're moving forward and I wish you all the best in everything!

It was my birthday yesterday (22!)

It was an okay day, OH spoiled me a little bit and had a lovely evening with my mum and sister but the majority of my family, my dad included in this, just didn't care. One person never gave me my 21st present and gave it to me this year as my 22nd present (basically all of my family chipped in to allow me to design my own present, with the help of one family member. He forgot until I reminded him a month ago, saying I had never told him what designs I wanted even though I have proof of him replying. He has passed off this present which was meant to be from everyone as his present to me this year, which I think is wrong)

So I got home last night and I was really upset. Don't get me wrong I wasn't being a spoiled brat who didn't get any presents. It was more the principle of some things.

This conversation led onto talking about TTC (as it usually does), about how I'm scared that whatever is wrong with me right now could mean I'm not able to have children, which really scares me.

OH said that I can take my pill break from today and we will "sit down and have a chat on Saturday" - which is more progress!

I know I want this more than anything in the world but my worry is that if I were to fall pregnant right now I would be due around April (new financial year which means 4 weeks of holidays AND christmas off! - definite pro there) would that affect us getting a mortgage in January?

I'm the higher earner (based on our standard pays) and we can afford the mortgage we want with SMP but I'm scared they won't lend to us

Thoughts?


Hope all are well and I apologise for the essay

xx

AmyTurtle

Hi all, I'm new to the thread and was after a bit of advice about what I should be doing to prepare to TTC, apart from the obvious multivitamins/folic acid? I'm overweight so have joined Slimming World which is going well but don't know anything about cycles etc!! I came off the pill about 9 months ago but am not really trying as OH has been working away, but comes back to live with me full time in a few weeks. Hopefully we will be trying from August/September onwards. TIA.

Info about me - I'm 30, OH is 29, been together for nearly 4 years.

Beckyy

lulu, these might be handy for you:

http://www.confused.com/mortgages/articles/how-can-maternity-leave-affect-your-mortgage
http://www.payrollsolutionsltd.co.uk/blog/statutory-maternity-pay-smp-mortgage/

It sounds quite lender specific but worth doing some number crunching, and research into lenders.

lulu_92

Beckyy wrote: »

lulu, these might be handy for you:

http://www.confused.com/mortgages/articles/how-can-maternity-leave-affect-your-mortgage
http://www.payrollsolutionsltd.co.uk/blog/statutory-maternity-pay-smp-mortgage/

It sounds quite lender specific but worth doing some number crunching, and research into lenders.

Thanks for those. Showed OH but he didn't really get it.

pm04gn

Keep crying everytime I watch one born every minute as it's all so cute and I want that it be me!
Let this be a warning for those of you coming off long term contraception. It's a hormonal rollercoaster that I was just not prepared for. The joy of a 'normal' cycle. Once I've had a baby I'll be straight back on cerezette or get a mirena so that I don't have to have periods/cycles again.

slowlyfading

pm04gn wrote: »

Keep crying everytime I watch one born every minute as it's all so cute and I want that it be me!

Me too! Glad I'm not the only one

Let this be a warning for those of you coming off long term contraception. It's a hormonal rollercoaster that I was just not prepared for. The joy of a 'normal' cycle. Once I've had a baby I'll be straight back on cerezette or get a mirena so that I don't have to have periods/cycles again.

Thanks for the warning

slowlyfading

So, I went into town today to look at folic acid but there were so many options! In the end I went with the folic acid/vitamin D combined one - hope I made the right choice!

jtr2803

Hi Ladies

Not 100% convinced I belong on here but having read a few pages it seems like I might be ok! Hubby and I have spent the majority of our six year relationship thinking that children really weren't for us when an out of the blue conversation on our (adults only!) holiday made us realise that we are both much more open to the idea than we thought!

I'm 32 and hubby is 35 so we realise that we can't wait forever if we do want to have a little one. We really aren't at that point yet though as we are in rented accommodation, which we both dislike, and are tied in until Feb. There are a couple of New Build developments coming in our area this Autumn and if we find one we like we are going to try and buy through the Help to Buy Equity Loan scheme (which would be very useful if I do fall pregnant). We also have a H-U-G-E holiday booked for March which I am not willing to cancel or lose, especially when it could be our last big one as a couple for a while! :eek:

Our biggest issue otherwise is money. I outearn hubby by a considerable amount and only get SMP so I have to keep that in mind. Hubby said he would be willing to go part time so I have a lot to think about and lots of calculations to do to see what would work. I also have a 14 year old daughter who doesn't live with me that I pay maintenance for so I need to make sure we can cover all eventualities. I'm currently researching KIT days, child care costs, Child Care Vouchers etc so I know exactly where we stand and how much we would need to save to cover any MAT leave but also how much we need to bring home between us to cover all our bills. Realistically I think we will move and then decide if we do really want to TTC and if so, when. Probably next summer..................

PS I desperately want to go to Vegas before then!

kansaskitty

cherrylips30 wrote: »

Hello ladies :-)

Things have moved on a little since my last post.

I've come off the bipolar meds, I simply decided that the the sooner I start to prepare my body, the better. Not what my pdoc suggested, but it's my body and I know that I have to give myself and any baby, the best start. I want to be able to manage my moods naturally and not need medication at all. All is going well so far, have also started taking pre-conception vitamins and will be presenting my OH with a box too! I've also started eating much healthier, swapping diet coke for water and am trying to reduce the stress at work - not an easy feat at all!!

My house is also up for sale! We're hoping it will sell quick, so we can be living together before Christmas, it'll make baby making a whole lot easier too

We're going away for a few days this week, so hoping for plenty of relaxation and fresh air - and practicing of course!

Happy Monday to you all xx

Hi cherrylips, that's a big decision to come off of your meds, much respect to you. How are you feeling after having been off a little while now? Hope you're feeling positive! Hope you enjoyed your little break too. KK xx

lulu_92 wrote: »

Hi all

cherrylips30 it's good to hear that you're moving forward and I wish you all the best in everything!

It was my birthday yesterday (22!)

It was an okay day, OH spoiled me a little bit and had a lovely evening with my mum and sister but the majority of my family, my dad included in this, just didn't care. One person never gave me my 21st present and gave it to me this year as my 22nd present (basically all of my family chipped in to allow me to design my own present, with the help of one family member. He forgot until I reminded him a month ago, saying I had never told him what designs I wanted even though I have proof of him replying. He has passed off this present which was meant to be from everyone as his present to me this year, which I think is wrong)

So I got home last night and I was really upset. Don't get me wrong I wasn't being a spoiled brat who didn't get any presents. It was more the principle of some things.

This conversation led onto talking about TTC (as it usually does), about how I'm scared that whatever is wrong with me right now could mean I'm not able to have children, which really scares me.

OH said that I can take my pill break from today and we will "sit down and have a chat on Saturday" - which is more progress!

I know I want this more than anything in the world but my worry is that if I were to fall pregnant right now I would be due around April (new financial year which means 4 weeks of holidays AND christmas off! - definite pro there) would that affect us getting a mortgage in January?

I'm the higher earner (based on our standard pays) and we can afford the mortgage we want with SMP but I'm scared they won't lend to us

Thoughts?


Hope all are well and I apologise for the essay

xx

Hi Lulu! Happy belated birthday, sorry to hear it wasn't super. Yes, all of our chats are spiralling into TTC/waiting/not wanting to wait/it's best to wait/AARGH talks right now too. *Hugs!* I have no idea about mortgages and maternity pay honey but I hope you get the answer you're looking for.

jovie wrote: »

Hi everybody,

I used to be on this thread a couple of years ago before we decided it was time to TTC. We tried unsuccessfully for about 18 months and then we got engaged this past Christmas. We planned our wedding for this October and decided to stop trying again for a while as I didn't want to be a heavily pregnant bride. The plan was to start trying again this month so that if we were lucky enough to fall pregnant, I would only be showing a little if at all.

I was happy enough with that plan, but the problem is that I have just been given a promotion at work. It's a decent step up, it will involve quite a lot of national travel at least initially and is a really good opportunity for me to make a mark in the company and prove myself.

Now I feel like I need to give this job a good go for at least a few months. At least to get to grips with it but also out of respect for my new manager and the company that has really supported me in my career progression.

That's my heads opinion anyway. My heart is saying that there will always be another reason to put it off and to put it off and that given that we tried and failed for 18 months we should start trying again ASAP.

I should also mention that my fiance is quite a bit older than me at 47 and that we are both keen to start a family sooner rather than later on those grounds too.

Thanks for listening to my rant and I'm looking forward to chatting with you all!

Jovie x

Hi Jovie, such a pretty name. I am a 'Jodie', hi! How is the wedding planning going? Not long now!
You sound very positive after having tried for 18 months, props to you! I think I would go with my heart on this one. I know what you mean about the promotion, but if you've already been on this journey for some time and you and hubby to be are both thinking on the sooner rather than later side, could you progress along your career path later on in life? What are your after baby plans... take a few years out, take a year out, go back part time etc? This will have an impact on career progression and whether you feel in your heart that it's a 'now or never' decision. *Hugs*!

I can only multi-quote three posts, but hi tillyenna hope wedding planning is going well and sorry about the house, any luck yet?
pm04gn I totally agree with you about being hormonal, I had my implant out May 29th and I have been so up and down! I had a withdrawal bleed and am on day 46 of my first proper cycle, desperate for a proper period as I am so teary and my boobs are so SORE! (Sorry girls but you know!). :eek:

Hi also to everyone new who has joined! :j


As for me, well! As I said I had a withdrawal bleed and we had unprotected sex a few times, and I started to think, 'hey we're not not preventing/not trying, we're trying!' I started to track my cycles and think about ovulation and nooooooooo I didn't want to get into all this, I wanted it to be natural and 'what if' and not stressful! I even took two tests and got two BFNs! So I really realised that we were trying and thought about moving myself over to the TTC thread. THEN at work (primary school teacher) they asked if I would have a trainee teacher next year. This is quite a big deal because a) it's only my second year teaching, so a big thing to be asked and b) it will look really good on the CV as I am planning on having a few years out with babas. So we have decided that proper baby dancing, proper TTCing cannot begin until October half term at the earliest! That way I will be able to finish the school year. Which was the original plan anyway! I do feel a little low about it though. But in the grand scheme of things I am only 24, and it is only moving TTC from June-October. Stay positive!
On the plus side we go away to Yorkshire next week with our little pooch in a cute cottage, and recently we had a mad five minutes and booked a short break to Rhodes in the October half term as a 'babymaking' holiday, wahooo! I must remember that anything under a year TTC will be considered normal for my age group and that I got myself into this with the hope of just giving it a go, not charting, ovulation kits, etc. Stress free babymaking for the win! She hopes!

KK xx

pm04gn

I had the mega painful boobs of doom as well. Think it was three or four days after I think I may have ovulated. That's based on a fleeting pain I had in my left pelvic area. Had my period two weeks after that pain so it all fits.
Have to admit that I was also in the camp of 'just get to it, don't stress and see what happens'. However after doing some research I think we will follow the sperm meets egg plan. You can get it as a free ebook on iTunes or kindle and it's worth a quick read. I'm really after maximising the baby making so that it hopefully doesn't take too long. I figure that we have the science and knowledge to maximise it so why not!