The Secret Dreamworld of a (Scottish) Shopaholic

Mara_uk7

Why dont you open a differently named fb page just to use for selling ?
When my friends post items for sale, it does come up on my page, even whe its a closed group.

Or does it really matter if he sees you selling, just tell him youre getting rid of old stuff thats taking up space ? When I started selling, My hubby came up with loads of outside stuff that was just taking up space, he really got into it. Decluttering sounds so much better than raising money to buy groceries !

evie451

I didnt want to read and run so subscribed to your inspirational thread

I was in your situation getting into debt to plug the holes in the family budget and the waiting on the postman thing was horrible, I was always happier when he was away ....at least your DH looks at the cash situation to some degree mind was oblivious!

I feel for you and you are doing brilliantly :T

MrsSmith2013

Just popping by to say hello Scottishspendaholic, and hope things are going okay for you this week. Are you glad to have the kids back to school? We are working better in a routine I have to say!

Hope the ebaying etc is going well for you. I find the same with the fee's the are extortionate, its making it more and more difficult for people selling bits and pieces like us.

Have a good weekend!
Mrs S x

debtfreewannabe321

Hello

I've just had a read through your diary! You're doing really well and a lot of what you say sounds like I could have written it myself! After my initial LBM I had a few tough months where I was up and down the whole time, it's really not fun. Trying to budget when you've never really stuck to one (ever in my case) trying to fill gaps in budgets (I did this with CC's or my OD like you ) and trying not to fritter money away. I stopped going to town completely. It was the only way for me to break my habit. I also lost a few friends along the way. I refused, point blank, to keep up with them & their spendy ways. They may (or may not) have been able to afford it but I couldn't.

Have you done all the usual changing of gas/elec/broadband/sky suppliers etc? If you haven't already done so or are due to renew anything again anytime soon go through TCB or quidco. Last year I got £100+ just for moving gas/elec suppliers :T I got £30 the other day for changing insurances.

I've got 3 kids, 2 were born into this debt cycle of mine so they've never really had a lot, or become spoilt (YET...I believe most kids go through this!) but my eldest was used to getting everything he wanted and was really good at guilt tripping me esp when he was away at boarding school (my friends have this and that and you can't send me here if I don't have it.....) *sigh* he soon learned the hard way (as did I) I now give him pocket money every month and he has to use that for anything he wants. He recently saved up for a ps3 :T so already he's better than I ever was at saving :rotfl: My DD & DS2 regularly bring me their old toys/shoes/clothes that they don't fit into etc and we sell them on FB sales pages (p.s noone can see what you post in a closed group unless they themselves belong to that group) and I keep the majority of the money made but I always give the kids a % of what was made so they can buy new things in CS or sweetie shop I am trying to get them to realise the value of money early on to avoid my mistakes they are 4 & 5 now and I hope they carry on as they have started :rotfl: although alarmingly DD already has a penchant for sparkly things, shoes & handbags :eek:!

P.s the hen do is :eek::eek: even pre-lbm I would have been shocked at that. My wedding in 2008 cost me around £500. all in! No hen do as I was 5 months pg with DD and no honeymoon....one day maybe! I hope you and DH make up soon, I often say the same about me and mine. If it weren't for the 15 years of knowing one another, the 3 kids I think we would be both long gone that sounds awful now i've written it but quite true!

Sorry long long post (as always from me :rotfl:) I have subscribed and will help cheer you on, as I know how lovely it is to come on here and have some cheerleaders, especially when, in real life hardly anyone knows what you are going through as we all like to put on the --->:D for everyone!

MrsSmith2013

Hi Scottishspendaholic, how are you getting on with the money making? Are your kids enjoying being back to school / routine?

Hope all is well with you!

Mrs S x

scottishspendaholic

Hey everyone,

Thanks so much for the brilliant support, I really would be lost without each and every one of you.

Mara, I can't let DH see me manically selling everything as he would want to know where the money had gone or want to spend the ££ on a joint outgoing - whereas I need to use this money to clear (secret) debt. He's quite unobservant though (not sure I would have got away with things for so long if he wasn't), so I can sell things from under his nose, as long as it isn't a guitar or CD or vinyl record, he's unlikely to notice!

DFW321, like you - I am shying away from doing things with friends, but am now starting to feel a bit lonely. The schools are back now & my son is in preschool nursery (3 hours in the mornings) & I miss both my children. I am a real social butterfly & have loads of friends, but am reluctant to invite people here as our house is so shabby & in need or painting & basics like light fittings, but because of my situation, I don't want to suggest we go out for ££ coffee & cake, so I hang around hoping I'll be invited to someone's house after school run, but to no avail! I am feeling really broody too, so need to shelve that feeling quick smart!

I listed 12 items on eBay over the bank holiday weekend. I'm not expecting much from any item, but am hoping to make around £40 after fees if everything sells. I am on track to make my overpayment (1st snowball payment!!!) this weekend all being well, will report back & update sig then, eeeeeeee! I've actually done so well with money generating this month, but school hols, planned pre LBM trips to festival things & severe lack of anything in our joint acc for the last fortnight, have meant that a good proportion of the money I've made, has had to be diverted so we could travel/eat/etc - gutting, but that's the way it is. If it was just me, I would eat eggs on toast every evening, but I need to buy the kids fresh fruit and feed them a relatively balanced diet and they are hungry ALL the time!!!

I've been busy with TCB too, and have another £10 on its way to me at some point from various free cash back offers (no bingo this time!). Oh and by the way, the hot drinks vouchers sold on ebay for £18!!! Free to me, yahoo.

I am going to do a round up at the end of the month & look at what went wrong & what I've been doing well. I am really looking forward to getting cracking with September now, plans are afoot!

I am praying (despite not being religious at all) that my pay goes through correctly and I am not subject to emergency tax & especially that both my old employer and my new employer pay me the correct amount. It's very scary as I get paid on 28th of the month (tomorrow) from both old & new employers - this goes into our joint account and covers the mortgage and another large monthly d/d, which also come out on the 28th of every month - and I can't see payslips until tomorrow! Grrrrr! Will be a panicked 5am bank check I think!

Off to do the dishes & washing then collect my wee man from school. I have had my nose stuck to the computer for the past few days (these diaries are addictive!), so he'll be getting my full attention this afternoon, hopefully we'll have some (free) fun!

Xxx

beanielou

You are not a bad person.
Stop beating yourself up
Hope all goes in ok tomorrow.
Take care of you xx

scottishspendaholic

Hello everyone!

Thanks beanie - I remember you from 2006 MSE DFW threads!

Well it's the 31st tomorrow and...(drum roll please!) I'll be making my first overpayment as per snowball!!! Yay! I've been working towards this moment for the last six weeks, and I've made it! I've made minimum payments to the debts until now and on the last day of each month, I intend to make my planned overpayment as per snowball. Technically this month, I won't actually be making my August overpayment until the evening of Sunday 1st September as we're away this weekend, but I'm not going to worry about being a few hours late due to getting online issues! So 1 month down, 22 months to go - I can do this!

My thoughts have already moved onto September & I need to make approx. £285 from today by 30 September 2013 to meet my planned September overpayment target as per snowball. My September figures also include a payment of £150 to the Visa-DH-does-know-about-but-the-balance-should-be-£750-less-than-what-it-actually-is as ideally I'd like this balance to be down to where it should be (i.e. £750 less) by end March 2014. The next thing then from April 2014, will be to try and get a month ahead of myself, so that I can make my minimum payments & overpayment on the 1st of every month (rather than the last day) & then spend that month planning, making extra ££ & saving up for my next overpayment at the beginning of each month rather than constantly chasing my tail for enough ££ every month as it feels like I'm doing at the moment.

So September's plan of action looks like this:-

eBay
Forum selling
Gumtree/Facebook
Amazon
Car boot planned for 8/9
Mystery shop booked for 17/9
TopCashBack
Surveys

I haven't left myself a lot of wiggle room in September so will have to be canny with the NSDs. I actually forgot my purse when I went to work yesterday, and this was liberating! I was paid more than I was expecting by old employer & this ££ was literally burning a hole in my brain! It's joint money though & we're using it for a car bill/car tax/money for things at school & saving the rest for Xmas. So I couldn't & didn't spend anything - yahoo!

The rest of this week has flown by bedding in to my new job & getting used to the new systems & way of doing things (I'm still doing the same job, but for a different employer & have been TUPE'd). I had my usual payday (I did get paid on time from both employers - phew!) splurge of a nice yummy lunch (paid for from joint account) - went to Asda at lunchtime & bought cooked chicken & a Caesar salad kit, some yoghurt, fruit, crisps & some fizzy juice - to last me the rest of the week. I really enjoyed it on Wednesday, but on Thursday I went to eat the remainder of the salad but it seems the work fridge is too cold & it was semi frozen. Serves me right for splurging!

We're off up North tomorrow for a weekend at the in laws - apart from petrol, it should be fairly spend free. I have a £40 budget for birthdays this month & have 3 birthdays plus a cheap meal out to pay for from this - so am on the lookout for cheap but lovely gifts. One of the gifts is for my Mum so am thinking of making her a watch charm bracelet as she loved the one my bestie made for me for my birthday this year. I have a £5 bead shop voucher & all the tools, so just need the watch face (gold), jump rings & a few charms I think. And maybe a nice gift box or bag.

I should be posting more as I am on here a lot just now - I normally have my nose stuck in a DFW diary & have read so many inspiring stories - I feel bereft when I get to the last post!

Xxx

OrangeFairy

Hi SS

Good luck with September. Seems like a mountain to climb but you did so well with August I am sure you can keep the motivation going.

Woohoo to your first snowball payment!!!

OF x

scottishspendaholic

Hello,

I am posting here as I need some support. I am having a couple of down days and need some friends please?

I'm not sure why I feel like this, it's possibly hormonal & I'll pick up in a day or so or it could be everything just getting on top of me. Nothing bad has happened, but I'm just finding everything so incredibly overwhelming today. It's now September 3rd and I've not really made a start on September's money making total & I'm starting to panic. I know in my heart of hearts I don't really need to, that'll I'll get there or thereabouts, but I just feel like I've got a ten ton truck on top of my head at the moment. The pressure I feel I am under is exhausting.

I don't normally feel sorry for myself, quite the opposite, but I am feeling really fed up & unhappy just now.

I have started the 5:2 diet as I desperately needed to do something about my weight & I weighed in the other day. My starting weight was :eek:, lets put it this way - I need to lose about half my weight to be in a normal BMI range. I can't keep ignoring my weight issues as it affects my whole life (& money things as well - lots of cash spent on food, bigger clothes needed etc), but at the moment it just feels like another plate to spin/thing to think about in an already very complicated busy life. But I can't keep doing nothing?

In relation to my targets this month, most of my minimum payments & essential outgoings are covered, it's just my snowball overpayments (MBNA as per snowball + as much ££ as possible to Visa-DH-does-know-about-but-balance-is-£750-more-than-it-should-be-as-I've-been-diverting-joint-money-allocated-to-this-debt-repayment-elsewhere) that I need to make really. But I need to make these as we all know as otherwise I'm just treading water.

I have roughly £277 still to make this month to meet my targets - here's my plan:-

*List on eBay – estimate £100 profit (£25 pw)
*List on forum - estimate £30 profit
*Maclaren buggy gumtree - estimate £20 profit
*Mystery shop – estimate £10 profit
*Car boot 8/9/13 – estimate £50 profit
*TCB payout (have £60 pending)?
*Surveys - £20

...but I'm crap at doing surveys & now DH is asking awkward questions about what we're doing with my car boot profits :mad:.

I can't PAD as all my money is so tightly budgeted, so lottery win aside, I'm a bit stuck at how I can magically make more money.

I've got to snap out of this. I am being really grouchy with the kids (they don't deserve it) and I'm just so cross (with myself) and fed up. There just seem to be no breaks, no respite - it's just so hard & I feel so alone. I am juggling so many plates - DH will come home, I've been at home alone for 3 hours frantically secretly ebaying, the house is a sh1ttip & I have to pretend I've been doing nothing, then get DH sulking at me all evening (& repeat). I am constantly on high alert for the post & making sure DH can't access my emails or has cause to rifle through piles of hidden paperwork. I'm not sleeping well as I'm staying up late so I can catch up with money making stuff & my budgets; I do load of extra curricular stuff with my kids, am really involved in various things in my village, have a tiring job I've to commute to, a house to run & I'm just knackered.