The Secret Dreamworld of a (Scottish) Shopaholic

evie451

Scottish I know I have only posted a little on your diary and cant really be counted as a friend (yet ) but chin up you are fighting the good fight on a lot of different fronts and its bound to get you down sometimes.

You are doing really well though and its probably the diet thats pushing you a bit far, it always made my mum down and pretty ratty with us! and she dieted a lot :eek:

when I was playing postman roulette with various credit card bills in the end I just got them sent to my mums address that way I didnt need to worry as much.....dunno if you have it as an option but it might be worth thinking about?

Mara_uk7

Ill be your friend, have a hug ....... oops sorry, I forgot that underwire was sticking out of this bra ... almost took your eye out.

It must be so hard trying to do this on your own, Is there any way you could tell OH about any of it ? even a little bit ? Im sure you havent accumulated the debt all by yourself, He must have shared some of the procurements !

Oh and stop the diet , You dont need that extra stress while youre feeling so down on yourself, Its waited this long, Can wait another month or two !!

Tell OH that youre putting the extra money away for Christmas, He will have forgotten by then anyway ! lol

Now Smile, Have a cup of tea and a choccy biscuit ..sod the calories. Then go do the washing up, Spray some polish in the air and hide the dirty laundry !

debtfreewannabe321

:grouphug: xxx

Get the post sent to your mums/sister/brother/friends house as Evie says. My mother did this many years ago for a savings account she'd opened and not wanted my dad to find out about. He was carp with money and would have spent it all!

Forget the diet for today I tried the 5:2 diet and whilst it works it is hard going for the first few weeks. When I diet I get rid of all the sweets in the house, I go to the farm shop and get raspberries/blueberries (whatever is in season and is cheapest...) in as they are sweet, good calories and will satisfy your sweet cravings.

Go to a friend's house and have a cuppa and a chinwag, always always cheers me up

Sign up to flyladies thread (i've posted some of the things she does on my diary) and start one day at a time sorting the house out. Rome wasn't built in a day

Tell DH the money from the bootfair is to pay for extras for school? (trips/snack money/extra shoes..?) My dh has no idea about things like this so if i had to I could exaggerate a few things that needed buying/paying for

I hope it's just a passing blues day and tomorrow you are feeling better :A xx

beanielou

I'm not really surprised TBH.
You have enormous pressure on yourself from many fronts~ secrecy, the big shortfall each month, DH questioning what any extra money you generate is spent on.
That is a whole lot of pressure every month.
Unfortunatly I have no answers that spring to mind.
Keep plodding xx

MrsSmith2013

Sorry you're feeling so low ScottishSpendaholic, thats not good. We all have days like that on our debt free journeys, but I think your one is tougher because your OH doesn't know the half.

I'd do what the other posters are saying, either say the profit is for school stuff, or say you're planning for christmas a bit early this year and that you're not going to touch the carboot money. He's a man, he'll forget!

I also felt like the house was a !!!! tip the last few weeks, so I have done one room at a time, cleaned skirting boards, floors everything. It feels better, its a distraction from money worries and you might find bits and pieces to sell while doing it! I'm still not right round the house yet, and also plan to do the garden, and wash the windows too - anything that is free to pass the time, and make our home a nicer place while we get our feet cleared. I think its a good distraction.

Must admit I'm also not that hot at surveys either to be honest, but am going to try the ones that give vouchers etc so that I can build up for Christmas.

Have to agree with Mara re the diet - you have enough pressure right now, leave the diet for another day, it will wait.

Hope you are feeling a bit better than this morning - will check back in later....

Sending you massive 'bosies' from your fellow scottish DFW buddy,

Mrs S x:grouphug:

please-let-me-be-lucky

Big hugs from me too. I feel much the same although for different reasons, it's not fun is it?! I think sometimes we put too much pressure on ourselves and not enough credit for all that we do.

I agree with DFW, check out the flylady thread. Short sharp bursts of housework interspersed with everything else should keep DH off your back.

You have lots of friends on here and a wealth of knowledge, use it to your advantage Xx

Mara_uk7

Can you get out of some of your obligations to the village ? It really sounds like you have enough on your plate without doing extras ?

scottishspendaholic

Hello everyone,

Thanks so much for the support. I have had a crappy weepy day topped off by needing to give someone a £15 refund on eBay because when I went to pack up the item for sale (a raincoat), I noticed it was torn so had to offer a full refund to the buyer. I am also getting 'spoken about' as I'm withdrawing from friends, but I'm not going to confide in them - so I either have to back off a bit or plaster a fake smile on & pretend everything is hunky dory - that's fine most days, but I just couldn't do it today.

I have really considered giving up some of my village commitments however 1) I earn money for (taking minutes) - its only £30 a month, but it's still ££income 2) I run the local Rainbows unit. This is A LOT of work, but my daughter is Rainbows age, & someone's got to run it and 3) I go to a community choir, which is the only weekly thing I do for me. This is quite a lot of work rehearsing, learning words etc but I wouldn't miss it for the world. I have already stated my desire not to be involved in the organisation of this year's village Christmas market, so that's one thing off the list.

DH is out for the evening, so off to do some eBaying!

Thanks for the support, hugs, kind words & a special thank you for the bosies, much appreciated.

please-let-me-be-lucky

Now you have even more sympathy from me! I run the Beavers. I feel your pain!!!! Xx

scottishspendaholic

Hello,

I feel much better than a few days ago, thanks very much for being there for me. I still don't feel happy, but I feel resigned to my situation & have just about enough energy to go on with the slog.

I'm still worried about making enough money this month, I've another £227 approx. to find/make in the next 24 days. I've got 10 items finishing on eBay this weekend with the grand total of £3.98 in bids, so disheartening. I know that if I really get my head down, I can probably make £100 or so from a combination of eBay, cashback, Gumtree etc but I'm really stuck with the other £127, short of a miracle. Mum & I were hoping to do a car boot tomorrow, but the weather isn't looking too good for that. Aaarrrgghhh!

It's the annoying Visa-not-in-signature-as-its-a-joint-debt that's the real problem. DH thinks the balance is around £750 lower than it actually is as for approx 19 months pre LBM I diverted joint money allocated for repayments over & above minimum payment to other things. If that was where it should be & I wasn't trying to get back on track with this as well as snowballing, then things would be so much easier. Not much I can do about this now, as I desperately want to bring this balance down to where it should be in the shortest space of time possible, so it's one less thing to lie about & hide.

Off for a hopefully free beach walk with friends this afternoon, I'll just take some snacks - then housework & tidying for the rest of the weekend.

Oh, and despite your lovely advice, I stuck to the 4:3 diet & am feeling good! I weigh in on Tuesday morning, wish me luck!