The Secret Dreamworld of a (Scottish) Shopaholic

cazmanian_minx

*waves hello*

*subscribes*

scottishspendaholic

Thanks everyone, really appreciate the support!

I have made a difficult decision today. I was so stressed about how much £££ I've got to make before the end of the month, waking up in the middle of the night short of breath, heart beating fast & panicky. I started a new job today too (not through choice, TUPE transfer) & just feel that I've given myself too much of a challenge in an already tricky month - and in month no. 1, I especially don't want burn out & fall off the wagon.

Sooooo...I've decided not to worry too much about the extra Visa (that-DH-DOES-know-about-but-I-haven't-paid-off-as-much-as-he-thinks) payment as this wasn't in my original plan for my 46 day challenge. I will address this debt, but not in month 1 as I think it's enough to get used to under-spending rather than over-spending and starting to snowball etc. This month I will still meet all mine & children's social summer holiday commitments (some of which were set up pre LBM), pay all my minimum payments & begin to snowball. I still do feel like I've cheated though as I was let away with the ££ I owed a friend & was given £80 cash by my old work, but I also did some stupid spending (bingo & charity shops). If I do make any extra ££ by the end of the month, then that'll roll into September's ambitious plan.

In good news, I set up a Credit Union savings account today, a monthly payment to be taken directly from my new salary - my friend and I have a long term savings goal to save up to go to NY for our 40ths! This money is the savings for that.

I've listed some more boys clothes for sale tonight, I'll hopefully make £10-£15 from selling these. My eBay sales are not going well, lots of items going for 99p that I'd anticipated selling for £5+ each, grrrrrrr!!!

marmiterulesok

That sounds like a wise decision.You need to have 'do-able' goals and wakening up in the night in a blind panic is not going to help.

Too bad about the poor eBay sales.:(

daisy_1571

just popping in to say i "overspent" in C@stco yesterday ie the bill was a lot higher than I was planning on it being however by the time I go through my bill allocating all the items to their various categories it is all fine. For example I allocate an amount every month for a twelfth of my estimated yearly spend on presents for birthday, xmas, housewarmings, colleagues leaving collections all that sort of stuff so I know that £9 of my spend comes out of that fund as I bought a lovely tin of biscuits that will be a parents xmas present. That way I dont have to pay for these things from my weekly shopping amount, it comes from the correct category. Im not explaining it very well so I hope you see what i mean. You could do this with the Ben 10 watch which although you spent now, is actually coming from your xmas budget. Write down the gift and the amount and keep it with you (the list, not the watch) so you dont end up still going mad in Dec and then when you get all the stuff out its hidey holes realising you have loads of stuff you forgot about and you actually still spent a fortune. If it helps, my system is: I list everyone i buy a present for and mark off ideas then when i buy something i mark it off in pen. This started after I was in Dec thinking I am sorted, ready to wrap things and realising I actually got two loads of stuff for one person and nothing for someone else!! Now I have lists going back years which occasionally gives me inspiration but at least means I dont keep getting the same thing for people every year.

Keep going, one day at a time is all any of us manage !

Oh and i meant to say - you are sort of not counting the £80 in vouchers and the other thing - I think you should be doubly proud of these things as I am sure that before your LBM that whole £90 of your collection would have been spent like that and you would have also considered the loan non payment a bonus and spent that too ? Am I right ? At least now you allocated a percentage of the collection for youself or something else (I am assuming and which i agree with btw) and the rest you put towards your most pressing need at the moment - debt reduction. Well done, its easy to feel these things dont count but just regard them for a moment with your old mindset. You are doing great !

take care

daisy

scottishspendaholic

Thanks girls. Daisy, you're right, I should start taking ££ from various budgets that I spend out of my money - the problem is that there's never any money in these budgets!!!! We pay for the kids' Christmas gifts from the CB, and it's all budgeted, so that it comes from Nov & Decs CB payments.

I feel like the worst Mummy today, I have just bolloxed my kids & sent them to bed. They were being loud & naughty & I'm really fed up of DD's behaviour this summer in particular, but they didn't deserve how I spoke to them. I know it's because I'm stressed about money & debt repayments and I've no-one to talk to. I just feel so bloody fed up today and so harassed. My friend who'd said not to worry about paying her back (£70) has got in touch to say that her husband is being really funny about it & could I please pay her back by the end of the month...!!!!. It's thrown out all my budgets again & I just feel so helpless. I know I'll pick myself up & things will work out, but I just feel a bit hopeless today. It feels like three steps back, three steps back today.

One small good DFW thing though. I had bought DD some Hush Puppies school shoes from TK Maxx for £20 the other day, but they were too big so I returned them this afternoon. I went round the corner to Sainsburys & bought her a nice patent pair AND 2 pairs of pumps (needs 2 pairs) - which all fit - for £18.50!

MrsSmith2013

Aww hunny, I could have written that paragraph about being a bad mummy, because I have been the exact same today. Feel like I have spoken to DD really badly and then sent her off to bed. We made up before she went to bed though. DS just seems to copy her bad behaviour which winds me up too. Inlaws phoned to say they would have the kids for a sleepover on Saturday and Sunday nights and already I am feeling guilty about being a rotten mum and now I feel like I am palming them off

I don't knoe about you but I am really fed up of all the facebook photos and posts of people who have been to disneyland or abroad over the hols, I juat want to be able to that with my kids and it feels lile its never happening!!

Thats pretty rubbish about your friend changing her mind about the money, boooo. Will it completely mess up your plans or will you be able to compensate for it in some other area?

Hope you are okay and feel better after a good nights sleep.

Mrs S x

daisy_1571

Hi

just a thought - if you budget for the xmas stuff out of Nov and Dec CB but you have spent money now on xmas presents....... if you keep a note of what you have spent and immdiately in Nov move this money into next years xmas fund or holiday fund or debt fund or something then there will be money there ? Sorry, not trying to be picky but if you allocate the money only in Nov/Dec then you have to not spend it in August ? Do you see what i mean ?

Do you think this is what perhaps keeps "blowing" your budget as you go, making you feel bad at the time and more likely to feel like giving up, but you still think all of Nov/Dec CB is up for xmas grabs and it all gets spent then you are spending more than you think you are (than your budget/forecast/plan however you think of it) on xmas.

If you want to buy presents throughout the year when you see something good or a bargain, then you must allocate some of the CB money throughout the year ? Does that make sense ?

I have read more than once that money management is more about psychology than maths !! I think it is true.

Pippilongstocking

Nothing really to add except you're moving forward even if it only feels slowly at times. And well done on the shoes.

Now, as to kids/treats and parenting.

Kids appreciate structure and know when they're chancing their arms.

As long as they're loved and safe/warm and fed they don't need expensive treats. Even though they're nice.

As a single parent of two who're now in their teens I've given myself a hard time about this. But do you know what, they're lovely kids, they appreciate hard work and structure and the value of money.

And I'm sure each one of us doesn't wish more for our kids than that. Well maybe if they had a mute button on occasion. Unlike many kids who have stuff lobbed at them like there's no tomorrow.



I know its hard work but you're addressing stuff and prioritising how best to deal with it.

That sounds like lots of steps forward to me, if that's OK to say.



PS Mrs Smith - the inlaws will have great fun with the kids or they wouldn't have offered - pack their bags pronto and wave them a happy goodbye and get your feet up!

marmiterulesok

Well that's too bad about your friend wanting the money back.I hope that you manage to re-arrange your money plans without too much difficulty.Stay strong.I'm sure you'll a way around this setback.

That's good news on the shoes though.

OrangeFairy

Hi SS- I am sorry about the £70 set back - what a pain. I know you will work it out though.

Don't feel like a bag mummy. Everyone has days like that. With now working full time I am really trying not to loose my cool with DD's due to the limited time we have together. Today I have spend £5 on a lovely day out geocaching and they have had so much fun. If fact if I announced this morning we were having a board game day they would be over the moon!

Well done on the school shoe saving - I need to get onto to looking for PE trainers!

OF x