Sorting food budget- seperate for you/OH? how?

Lizling

I used to split bills in much the same way so I don't find it odd at all.

I'd typically spend about £20/week on food
He typically spent £80+/week on food (same salary)

I saved for treats and put a few hundred £s aside each month
He spent everything and took out loans if he wanted something big

Guess who was keeping a roof over our heads and food on the table when we both got made redundant? We'd have been screwed if I'd been splitting everything 50-50 because I'd have struggled to save a penny and he'd still have spent everything available.

Dovah_diva

What a complicated system. In our house, I pay the bills and my husband buys the food. Our son's housekeeping comes to me. Works out that we have roughly the same disposable income after bills/food per month.

Georgiegirl256

Miss_Ratty wrote: »

I find this interesting, as almost all the couples I know, me included, do this...but then we are all in fairly equal partnerships, earning the same as our other halves...we plan all meals and split costs equally, but treats are paid for by each person...I'd go nuts if I had to pay for some nonsense expensive cream my OH used and vice versa. We'd never see the other go without, but likewise we're independent from the point of view that you pay for your own treats and shouldn't expect someone else to foot the bill. I know a few couples who do the share everything thing, mostly a lot older, and I do find that a bit odd! Especially where one lady has never worked and her hubby pays for everything (they have no children). I do wonder how she'd cope if they split, but I guess she's not the type of person to look after herself.

I would think it odd if one party lived on beans and toast and the other on finest meals, but don't see it as strange to pay for what you consume. As far as earnings are concerned, you pay for what you can afford, and split all costs for the kids and pets etc.

See I just can't get my head around this? I find it odd that you think it's odd that couples pool their money together. Not meant as a criticism, just my opinion.

Like Mojisola says, what would you do if the SHTF and one of you couldn't work, or was made redundant etc?

Lagoon

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

See I just can't get my head around this? I find it odd that you think it's odd that couples pool their money together. Not meant as a criticism, just my opinion.

I can't get my head around sharing your finances the way many couples seem to. Being a couple means being two separate people in a relationship, not some fused combination of the people we were before we got together.

I find it hard to imagine sharing finances, when we're two different people with different priorities.

'If I want to make a big purchase, we sit down and discuss it', really? I find isn't strange that people pool their hard earned money together with someone else's money, and then have to agree how it's going to be spent. If they want something new, because the money is shared they have to get permission to make the purchase.

I know it's a two-way, mutual agreement but it seems odd to me. Still, I think it's great that it works for other people. Personally, I'm glad OH and I both agree that we want control of our own money. I couldn't do it any other way, and neither could he.

Nada666

Wow, what a weird thread. Some new definitions of the term 'OH'/'partner' I was not previously aware of.

Mojisola

Lagoon wrote: »

I can't get my head around sharing your finances the way many couples seem to. Being a couple means being two separate people in a relationship, not some fused combination of the people we were before we got together.

I find it hard to imagine sharing finances, when we're two different people with different priorities.

This is where we vary - to us, being a couple means sharing our lives in all respects.

paulineb_2

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

See I just can't get my head around this? I find it odd that you think it's odd that couples pool their money together. Not meant as a criticism, just my opinion.

Like Mojisola says, what would you do if the SHTF and one of you couldn't work, or was made redundant etc?

Or what would happen if someone developed an addiction to online games, or betting or decided to clean out the joint account and run off with someone else?

It happens. For the people who always pool and who have a great relationship and it works for you, fabulous.

But look at the amount of marriages, partnerships that dont work out? You only need to look on this board to see that.

And that doesnt mean in the scheme of things that everyone who has a joint account needs to worry, not at all. But unless we know how people live their lives and how they get on its a big judgement to question peoples relationship just because they pay for their own food.

But if one person lets say eats 80 per cent of what is being spent on the shopping budget and the other person is eating 20 per cent, it makes sense for the partner spending more to make a larger contribution.

I know several couples who are happily married and have their own bank accounts and yes things can change if someone gets pregnant or is made redundant, but if a partnership is strong enough, they'll deal with that, also if someone who is paying less in, has money left over, it makes absolute sense that they save a bit for unexpected situations.

I really dont think its the end of the world for two people to pay their own food bills if one person is paying for expensive food and supplements.

My brother lives with someone and he buys supplements due to the training he does, he pays for them himself, he uses them. Doesnt mean hes not committed to the relationship.

lostinrates

Mojisola wrote: »

This is where we vary - to us, being a couple means sharing our lives in all respects.

We'd say the same. Sadly circumstances get in the way. So for us we have a differ pent set up again.

DH works away four nights/five days a week. He has access to a subsidised canteen (which he doesn't much like, but is practical and I personally with he would eat there more often, especially in winter ) and depending on work load, catered meals in the evenings. So if he is working late his employers pay his evening meals. Not working late is still working 'late' compared to most people and it really doesn't make sense for him to try and cater for him self 'old style'.

Because he doesn't like the canteen he prefers to graze throughout the week on lots of raw fruit and veg (with me barking at him about protein) and supplement this with protein packed choices from employer paid for meals, or if he meets friends for meals or has business meals through the week. Deposits the subsidised meals he has the bigger allotted budget because of the difficulty in preparing in advance and my desire for him to eat more than crudite for the majority of the week!


He is not lazy or selfish but does work crazy hours, and has to be encouraged to maintain a social life and take care of him self at times!

We budget for his meals as of an extra from 'our' budget. But a very necessary one.

burnoutbabe

I just can't imagine, having got together with my partner in my late 30s, suddenly sharing a bank account and never quite knowing where i was financially. Much simpler to just keep accounts seperate, both budget for the bills at start of month and then split credit card at the end before it needs paying.

If you both earn the same, there doesn't seem to be any benefit in combining finances, and a ton of downsides as well.

Loolah

Whoever has the most time usually does the shopping but its never yours and mine, just OURS as is everything else we use/buy/pay for. Hub earns 10 tens more than me as i am part time but its never been an issue. we both see marriage as a partership and whilst I dont work as many hours outside the house the majority of the housework is done by me so any free tme is spent together

much different to my first marriage where we each paid something into a joint account for mortgage and bills 60/40 from memory and he handed over cash for the weekly shop which i did ( trying very hard to budget to get everything he asked for. This didnt change when the kids were born athough the percentage did. anything for them came out of my wages and child benefit

if he went to the garage for petrol and i asked for a choc bar he would ask for the money when handed it over! He bought 3 shirts, i jacket and a pair of trousers in the sale each year for work and relied on xmas presents from mummy for socks and pants. This man would walk a mile to save a penny and i always thought we were fairly poor until he had to declare his income/savings in the divorce..........which brought a HUUUUUUUUGE smile to my face and almost made up for the years of sun holidays in the rain in caravans and second hand everything as "its all we can afford" ( not knocking sun hols btw but he cojuld have taken the kids abroad)