Sorting food budget- seperate for you/OH? how?

pelirocco

I must lead a strange life , we have always had a joint account , we dont even have separate pots for our own spending money , worked perfectly fine for us for over 30 years

One of my sons friend and GF would even keep count if one had bought the other one an ice cream , and would expect the money back .


As if working at a relationship wasnt had enough , you insert possible conflict over who has more peas on their plate

pelirocco

Lagoon wrote: »

Regarding bills, we split them 50/50 for the most part as it's an essential and impossible to measure. In winter, because I want the heating on when he's happy to layer up, I pay whatever additional expense appears on our bill.

If I were happy with a slower internet connection and he wanted faster then yes, he would pay the extra. As it is, when he said he was going to upgrade to fibre optic I felt like the benefits were worth my money as well, which meant that we split the cost.

I don't watch TV. I actually pay for our license purely because I've had one since before I met him, and he didn't have one back then, though this is the anomaly for us. If he wanted any extra features, he would pay. He's paid for his Lovefilm account in the past, and if he wanted to keep Sky when they started charging us (we get it free, but who knows how many more years this will continue), then that would be another cost for him.

I know it obviously sounds odd to many people, and we perhaps take splitting money to the extreme, but it works for us and it really isn't any extra effort.

I think the idea of it being extra effort comes from a 'joint account' viewpoint, but look at it not as splitting money that SHOULD be joined and more as two individual budgets in the first place. Him paying for Sky wouldn't affect me, because it would never be a part of my budget.

The only place people really 'notice' it is with the groceries because those are done together, I guess. We don't walk around the shop with two different trollies - OH just knows how much he needs to give me, sends it my way at the start of the month and that's it.

have you added up how much extra you pay for these extras? , seems to me your OH is doing very well by going without

Lagoon

pelirocco wrote: »

have you added up how much extra you pay for these extras? , seems to me your OH is doing very well by going without

I don't understand exactly what you're asking?

Bennifred

It seems strange to me that a committed couple would share everything except money, unless one party has serious issues with it.

We have always had one pot. Way back in the mists of time, when we newly out of education, I had a good job, DH was temping and earning much less - it was all "our" money. After about five years DH's income overtook mine - still all "our" money. Several years down the line, I became a stay-at-home-mother. Eventually, I went back to work part-time - all money into joint pot. Now DH still works full-time but I have had to give up work due to bad health. I can't imagine how horrible it would feel if it wasn't "our" money and I felt somehow beholden to my husband. We have always just supported each other - financially and otherwise.

Still - each to their own!

lostinrates

pelirocco wrote: »

I must lead a strange life , we have always had a joint account , we dont even have separate pots for our own spending money , worked perfectly fine for us for over 30 years

One of my sons friend and GF would even keep count if one had bought the other one an ice cream , and would expect the money back .


As if working at a relationship wasnt had enough , you insert possible conflict over who has more peas on their plate

He has more food on his plate, its simple, his calorific requirement is higher.

It's really not hard having more than one bank account. I have some small earnings still in my maiden name (which I used professionally). I don't work under that name or in that area any more and I don't really care to go to the fuss to try and change the name this small trickle of money arrives for,....it's easier. Plus its easier for our accounting purposes for us to wash hav an account. It doesn't mean its not 'our' money.

DH buys ALL the ice cream. Because our current money roles are he earns pretty much all of it.

claire16c

FBaby wrote: »

It doesn't have to be like that though, I transfer the same amount of money at the same time each month. I have to say that I do find it much easier to know where I am with my balance without checking it every day or even other day knowing roughly in my head what I have spent and where I most likely am. I would hate to have to look at how much there is left in the joint account, to decide whether I can spend £50 on something because my partner might want to do that to and there is only £50 left in there.

I guess that just never happens to us. If we want to buy something big we discuss it, my DH doesn't care what I buy, but I'm the one who does the finances so I know when to spend & when not to. And if one of us really needed something we'd put it on a credit card & pay it back the next month. Which really we do with most stuff anyway to earn airmiles/hotel points etc.

Gloomendoom

Lagoon wrote: »

I don't understand exactly what you're asking?

No?

When you want to turn up the heating, all your OH has to do is say he would rather put a sweater on instead and you get to pay the bill for the extra gas. He stays warm at your expense.

Lagoon

Gloomendoom wrote: »

No?

When you want to turn up the heating, all your OH has to do is say he would rather put a sweater on instead and you get to pay the bill for the extra gas. He stays warm at your expense.

However, I know him and know that he WOULD just put a jumper on otherwise. I trust him to be honest, but really who pays for the extra heating isn't such a big deal to me that I'd be incredibly upset if I was wrong and he was 'staying warm at my expense'. You do make it sound as though I'd keep the heating off just to spite him.

Surely, from my explanation above, the same could have been said of the faster internet? I could have said I was happy with the existing one, even though I would have preferred the faster one, which would have lead to me not paying as much.

rachbc

OH and I put £250 each a month into a joint pot for food and petrol, I usually get a bot of booze with the weekly shop with this. If OH wants beer between shops he buy it with his own money, occasionally I do a wine order from majestic and pay for that myself. The cover breakfast for me and kids, lunch and evening meal fro us all. No way would OH expect to but in less cos he doesn;t eat breakfast or me expect him to put in more because he has an extra slice or 3 of meat!

rachbc

Lagoon wrote: »

Regarding bills, we split them 50/50 for the most part as it's an essential and impossible to measure. In winter, because I want the heating on when he's happy to layer up, I pay whatever additional expense appears on our bill.

If I were happy with a slower internet connection and he wanted faster then yes, he would pay the extra. As it is, when he said he was going to upgrade to fibre optic I felt like the benefits were worth my money as well, which meant that we split the cost.

I don't watch TV. I actually pay for our license purely because I've had one since before I met him, and he didn't have one back then, though this is the anomaly for us. If he wanted any extra features, he would pay. He's paid for his Lovefilm account in the past, and if he wanted to keep Sky when they started charging us (we get it free, but who knows how many more years this will continue), then that would be another cost for him.

I know it obviously sounds odd to many people, and we perhaps take splitting money to the extreme, but it works for us and it really isn't any extra effort.

I think the idea of it being extra effort comes from a 'joint account' viewpoint, but look at it not as splitting money that SHOULD be joined and more as two individual budgets in the first place. Him paying for Sky wouldn't affect me, because it would never be a part of my budget.

The only place people really 'notice' it is with the groceries because those are done together, I guess. We don't walk around the shop with two different trollies - OH just knows how much he needs to give me, sends it my way at the start of the month and that's it.

YOu do realise you are being had right? He gets the benefit of better food than he is willing to pay for and heat that he doesn't pay just by saying he doesn't want it. if he doesn't want it then he shouldn't have it, not take it but refuse to pay!!