Sorting food budget- seperate for you/OH? how?

Lagoon

rachbc wrote: »

YOu do realise you are being had right? He gets the benefit of better food than he is willing to pay for and heat that he doesn't pay just by saying he doesn't want it. if he doesn't want it then he shouldn't have it, not take it but refuse to pay!!

'Being had'? Seriously? There are many things he chooses to pay for that I don't, as well. He's not being selfish - he's happier with cheaper food, and he doesn't get cold anywhere near as easily as I do. Those are two examples of many.

We share our evening meals. Are you genuinely saying that because I want higher quality food, it makes sense for us to eat two different meals? :rotfl:

One minute people are saying it's weird for a couple to split their finances. The next, we should be having whole different evening meals.

BugglyB

Lagoon wrote: »

'Being had'? Seriously? There are many things he chooses to pay for that I don't, as well. He's not being selfish - he's happier with cheaper food, and he doesn't get cold anywhere near as easily as I do. Those are two examples of many.

We share our evening meals. Are you genuinely saying that because I want higher quality food, it makes sense for us to eat two different meals? :rotfl:

One minute people are saying it's weird for a couple to split their finances. The next, we should be having whole different evening meals.

No, its as I said before - you think you're happy, and you think it works for you, but you're wrong

catkins

When we got married, over 30 years ago, we opened a joint account and that is all we have ever had.

For the first 10 years or so of our married life I earned over double what my husband earned. Then for a while we earned a similar amount, then he earned more than me for a few years. Now I don't work at all and he works full time. I really could not have been bothered with separate accounts and trying to work out who pays what in the different scenarios.

Any money that either of us get is "our money". To me it seems petty saying things like "she spends more money on clothes than I do".

Each to their own but I just find it odd that some people make it so complicated

Mojisola

catkins wrote: »

When we got married, over 30 years ago, we opened a joint account and that is all we have ever had.

Each to their own but I just find it odd that some people make it so complicated

Us too.

While I know every couple sorts these things out to suit themselves, I can't get my head round the thinking that "I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you and will support you and care for you whatever happens - and don't forget you owe me £x because you had extra shopping last week."

lostinrates

Mojisola wrote: »

Us too.

While I know every couple sorts these things out to suit themselves, I can't get my head round the thinking that "I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you and will support you and care for you whatever happens - and don't forget you owe me £x because you had extra shopping last week."

That's not why we have personal access. It's purely a practical issue of accs ( income in my name, ease for self assessment for majority of transactions and good Mse practise.....e.g., tax planning.

Mojisola

lostinrates wrote: »

That's not why we have personal access. It's purely a practical issue of accs ( income in my name, ease for self assessment for majority of transactions and good Mse practise.....e.g., tax planning.

No, I understand that. I think if we got married now, I would probably go down the route of having a joint account and two accounts in individual names but the money would still be "ours".

It's the couples who keep track of which of them "owes" money to the other that I don't understand. That's how I would operate in a house share but not with my lifelong partner.

It just shows how we all come at things from different places and how important it is to find a partner who operates on the same wave length as you.

kittendothroar

I am reading this thread with a lot of interest as to how people work it.

In a previous life I lived with an ex for 7 years, from day one we put a fixed amount into a joint account, to cover rent, bills etc and around £200 leftover for food, household stuff and treats. Worked out well, we both were on better salaries and had a comfortable lifestyle.

Fast forward now living with new man, in my work accomodation, no joint account yet. I have become quite neurotic with money following several years of personal circumstances going through the mill and back, and he is very lax, and we are learning to manage together. Its up and down.. I pay the rent bill, he transfers to me half minus my share of the sky bill and whatever grocery wise I've done working out roughly 50/50 give or take the odd thing we have bought solely for ourselves! ..but I did a shopping list last week, told him to check it..he didn't it.. I've done it and now he complained spent too much and its stretching him..

But we communicate well, Its only been 8 weeks and daresay this time next month we will be a bit straighter with things.

Spendless

As a teenager, we used to have a milkman call for his cash on Friday late afternoon. My mum frequently was still at work at that time, if my Dad was he used to pay the milkman, moan about it and then demand the money back as soon as Mum walked in as he'd already given her 'housekeeping' and now had had to pay more. They both worked, mum was self employed, they had no childcare bills due to my age and other neighbours/relatives helping with my younger sister and they both drank milk! Both me and sis laugh now about the strange sort of set-up they had over it. :rotfl:

Goldiegirl

catkins wrote: »

When we got married, over 30 years ago, we opened a joint account and that is all we have ever had.

For the first 10 years or so of our married life I earned over double what my husband earned. Then for a while we earned a similar amount, then he earned more than me for a few years. Now I don't work at all and he works full time. I really could not have been bothered with separate accounts and trying to work out who pays what in the different scenarios.

Any money that either of us get is "our money". To me it seems petty saying things like "she spends more money on clothes than I do".

Each to their own but I just find it odd that some people make it so complicated

Yes, we've always had a joint account. It doesn't matter who is earning more, it just all goes into the joint account and it's ours.

All this working out who pays what is far too complicated for me. Life is much more simple with a joint account

Errata

Goldiegirl wrote: »

Yes, we've always had a joint account. It doesn't matter who is earning more, it just all goes into the joint account and it's ours.

All this working out who pays what is far too complicated for me. Life is much more simple with a joint account

Far too complicated for me as well. It seems the more popular the term partners becomes, the less people understand what a partnership means.