Sorting food budget- seperate for you/OH? how?

Mojisola

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

I'm not surprised they're not together anymore. How was the guy meant to contribute the same when he wasn't earning? Wasn't looking after their children so she could go out and work enough? She sounds so selfish, I wouldn't be surprised if that was the reason why they split up?

The children were teenagers so he was back at work but having to take lower paid jobs to get back into employment.

It says a lot that the children were extremely pleased that he made the decision to leave - his daughter, in particular, had been telling him he should leave for some time because of the way her mother behaved towards him.

pigpen

I pay for it all and OH occasionally pays for top ups of milk and bread and will pick up extra bits he would like to eat if I have no cash to hand..

When we shop we either go to the supermarket together or I shop online and ask him if there is anything he wants me to get.

Errata

Oh dear, I slipped up! Should I have asked the OH to put twice as much cash in the shopping purse because he ate twice as much as me?

Lagoon

Errata wrote: »

Oh dear, I slipped up! Should I have asked the OH to put twice as much cash in the shopping purse because he ate twice as much as me?

Wait! Someone's said that you SHOULD split your finances? :eek:

How dictatorial of them.

mummyroysof3

I think different households just do what works for them. 2 working adults with no children is going to have different financial affairs to a household with 1 working and one staying home with the kids. The only money in our house that is mine is my careers alkowance and I couldn't pay half the bills from that. Or should I separate out the kids tax credits and get them to pay a 5th of the bills each lol

maman

Lagoon wrote: »

A few people have said something similar to this, so I just wanted to clarify.

Having our own money doesn't mean that we don't want to look after each other. Neither of us would turn to the other, if they were in financial difficulty, and cackle manically, saying 'You can't afford to eat? Well, what a shame! I can!'

Having separarate finances does not mean that:

A) One of you is being selfish (I saw a few comments in this thread that seemed to say that this was a one-sided decision, poor OH)

You're both selfish, and would never help the other person.

It's a way of budgeting, not an expression of how much we love each other. If your being in a relationship hinges solely on the fact that you share your money with the other person, I'd be concerned.

I understand where you're coming from. We have separate finances but just not to quite the extent that you do. We each pay an equal amount of bills by DD and food or any other household stuff goes on our individual CCs and we split the bills (having separated out personal spends).

I've had comments from family about our 'weird' financial arrangements but they suit us. I would hate to have a joint account. I like to be in control of my own finances.

I do the food shop on my CC and then we split the bill. It does include basic toiletries but not special stuff like perfume or after shave that would come from a cosmetics counter. I think I'd find splitting the food a bit complicated but as we eat together and virtually all the same things then it's a more even arrangement than OP's.

I can see why you need to rein in the spends. When I stopped work and had more time for shopping around I found I was out of pocket as all the small cash purchases (market, greengrocer etc) were coming out of my account. So now we have a 'petty cash' tin for any food shopping that doesn't go on my CC. We just top it up with cash (same amount each) when it's getting low. It's also useful when we go out for meals with friends as we have cash to pay our share. DH is happy with this arrangement. He just smiles when the bill comes and says 'my equerry will pay!'.

rebekahR_2

Blimey.. what a debate..lol

It is an eye opener to see how we all do it... whatever works for each household, is completely different, wouldn't be fun if we were all the same!!

Good to know...a rare few do ..split it ..rather than combining etc....shall see how this month goes..hopefully will be slightly less skint come august!!

Tiddlywinks

rebekahR wrote: »

.....shall see how this month goes..hopefully will be slightly less skint come august!!

That's what I don't understand though... how can separating finances make it easier on the budget? Wouldn't it be cheaper to share meals etc?

Genuine question - no criticism intended.

Miss_Ratty

I find this interesting, as almost all the couples I know, me included, do this...but then we are all in fairly equal partnerships, earning the same as our other halves...we plan all meals and split costs equally, but treats are paid for by each person...I'd go nuts if I had to pay for some nonsense expensive cream my OH used and vice versa. We'd never see the other go without, but likewise we're independent from the point of view that you pay for your own treats and shouldn't expect someone else to foot the bill. I know a few couples who do the share everything thing, mostly a lot older, and I do find that a bit odd! Especially where one lady has never worked and her hubby pays for everything (they have no children). I do wonder how she'd cope if they split, but I guess she's not the type of person to look after herself.

I would think it odd if one party lived on beans and toast and the other on finest meals, but don't see it as strange to pay for what you consume. As far as earnings are concerned, you pay for what you can afford, and split all costs for the kids and pets etc.

Mojisola

Miss_Ratty wrote: »

I find this interesting, as almost all the couples I know, me included, do this...but then we are all in fairly equal partnerships, earning the same as our other halves...we plan all meals and split costs equally, but treats are paid for by each person...

I know a few couples who do the share everything thing, mostly a lot older, and I do find that a bit odd! Especially where one lady has never worked and her hubby pays for everything (they have no children). I do wonder how she'd cope if they split, but I guess she's not the type of person to look after herself.

I would think it odd if one party lived on beans and toast and the other on finest meals, but don't see it as strange to pay for what you consume. As far as earnings are concerned, you pay for what you can afford, and split all costs for the kids and pets etc.

Have you discussed how you would manage things if one partner was made redundant or became too ill to work?