Sorting food budget- seperate for you/OH? how?

marisco_2

geoffky wrote: »

What would you do if one of you won the lottery?

Good point. Imagine being the one whose numbers didn't come up. Doomed to shopping in Asda whilst the other half browses Waitrose :eek:

burnoutbabe

I think the issue is more that one is on a strict budget and the other isn't? So one assumes no costs are pooled (bar rent/mortgage/elec).

Is one person paying off debts? what if you want to go on holiday, can you not go unless the OH pays?

onlyroz

I really can't imagine a family living together and not eating the same meals. Sounds really quite bizarre.

We just compile a menu for that week together, and then I go out shopping to buy the stuff. It usually works out that hubby buys the meat (which we buy around once a month from the local butcher) and I buy the rest of the stuff, and any other general household items that we've run out of (these days either from the local market or from Aldi, if I can). We tend to have a more extravagant meal on saturdays, which we'll decide upon on saturday morning, and then go out to buy the stuff for it.

As for cooking, I do Mon-Wed, hubby does Thurs-Fri, and then we do Sat-Sun together.

KxMx

Perhaps if things are tight this month the grown-up kids could make their own contribution ie ask them to bring a few bags of shopping. Or take you out to lunch perhaps while they are staying.

I know you like to treat them which is fair enough but if things are tight they should do their bit.

claire16c

Gloomendoom wrote: »

There are some bloody weird people on MSE!

.

you can say that again :rotfl:I have images of people sitting at their computers on excel spreadsheets every night working out percentages of every detail of their lives and sending their partners invoices.

I could understand if someone is in a new relationship but if you're living with someone this is just bizarre. And people saying they split things up with their 'husbands' well quite frankly why bother getting married if you're not prepared to share!

My DH is a personal trainer so sometimes he will be training for something and eat expensive protein powder stuff. Well I buy more clothes than him. He goes fishing and buys day tickets for that. I buy my friends nice birthday presents and his mates don't do that. etc etc.

I cant believe the amount of time people spent counting pennies theyd be better off working in that time!

Georgiegirl256

We do 1-2 big shops per month, and they just come out of either of our accounts, usually the DH's account as he's the main wage earner. During the week, we buy bits and bobs as and when we need them, I sometimes use my card/cash, but mostly just take his cards with me Everything we buy is for both of us, no 'this is mine', all food etc is for both of us, regardless of who buys it.

This thread reminds me of a couple we used to know. When they went out for drinks, they would buy their own drinks independent of each other and made sure they got their change off their partner if they went to the bar for them! I guess everyone has their own way of budgeting etc.

neverdespairgirl

I find it all reallky weird as well.

We don't have "my" money and "his" money.

We don't actually have a joint bank account - we're both self-employed, and it's easier to have our own accounts, to manage things such as Chambers rent, VAT, work travel, etc

I pay our two most expensive bills - mortgage and child care - from my bank account, and also pay for all the car costs, service, insurance, MOT, etc. Council tax, water, electricity and gas come out of OH's account. As soon as I get any money in, I separate off my VAT and work expenses, and put those in a separate account, and we also have a savings account for income tax.

Because I spend much more money on our stuff, and we both get paid irregularly, if I'm short, I ask OH and he transfers some to me. If I have a big payment, I transfer some to him, but it's usually the other way around as I have £3,500 coming out of my account each month for the mortgage and child care.

We both do food shopping, or shopping for our son, as things work out.

If we want to buy personal stuff - make-up, clothes, go out with friends - then we just do. We trust each other to be sensible and careful with our money, and it works well.

If I want to buy something bigger, or OH does, we talk about it first.

Spirit_2

My life with my husband is so intertwined that having totally shared money is just part of that.

Food is part of our joint lives too. Sharing choosing, cooking and shopping between us in an unplanned but fair way, as considering each others schedule, well being and happiness is normal.

That we sometimes eat different things is because we have preferences, but sharing meals/the available food is such a basic part of family life that prior to reading this thread I had no idea that couples would partition groceries in an economic way.

It sounds distant and seperate without the "we want to look after each other" component inherent in loving each other.

If it is about a fairly shared contribution to a household budget then just settle it at that level and manage your money that way.

daisiegg

paulineb wrote: »

If you had a meat eater and a vegan or vegetarian living together which can happen, people would probably be buying their own meals. Or at least the bulk of their own meals.

Not necessarily. I have all sorts of allergies whereas my husband can eat anything, but we don't say "I'll pay for the soya milk and you pay for the cow's milk!"

Lagoon

Spirit wrote: »

It sounds distant and seperate without the "we want to look after each other" component inherent in loving each other.

A few people have said something similar to this, so I just wanted to clarify.

Having our own money doesn't mean that we don't want to look after each other. Neither of us would turn to the other, if they were in financial difficulty, and cackle manically, saying 'You can't afford to eat? Well, what a shame! I can!'

Having separarate finances does not mean that:

A) One of you is being selfish (I saw a few comments in this thread that seemed to say that this was a one-sided decision, poor OH)

You're both selfish, and would never help the other person.

It's a way of budgeting, not an expression of how much we love each other. If your being in a relationship hinges solely on the fact that you share your money with the other person, I'd be concerned.