Age and driving

lostinrates

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

This is why I would not want to live in the middle of nowhere, especially when I get older. Where I live, I can get most things within walking distance, I can also get easily into my city centre or Birmingham city centre, easily and quickly by free and frequent public transport. I frequently use the bus/train/tram already. If in the future I can't drive, it won't be problem.

. The town has most things. For most inhabitants its adaquate. For parent it's too small, not enough going on. My parents sold the isolated property they owned together before going their separate ways. Sadly neither have really found life was what they expected after separation . Both are depressed a lot of the time and its pretty sad for those around them as well as them tbh.

Dunroamin

lostinrates wrote: »

My parent wants to tootle around her social circle...a round trip of about 130 miles or so. They accept London is no longer safe for them to drive in and leaves them panicking so drives to somewhere they can park and get a train in. Parent also travels a lot and wants to drive to the airports form their small town with no transport links.

That's far further than I was thinking of when I mentioned tootling around! When my dad reached that stage he never went more than 10 miles from home which enabled him to stay independent with shopping etc and to see his friends. I certainly wouldn't have been happy for him to have driven that sort of distance.

Brighton_belle

lostinrates wrote: »

What would other people do or suggest to their parent/ or do themselves in my parent's position at this stage?

It seems there is probably nothing you can do lostinrates - as this parent seems to deliberately go against anything you suggest as almost an act of defiance. I don't think they are going to listen to you.

lostinrates

Pee wrote: »

Ah, sorry. It doesn't sound like taxis would be an option for 130 miles...

No, but I am not sure what is,

With the best will on the world if I were we'll enough to drive parent around I would hopefully be to busy to. Its a very difficult situation ATm tbh. I feel pulled in several directions...

margaretclare

lostinrates wrote: »

. It's certainly not a given any one of any age is a good or bad driver .


I made the suggestion of a few lessons many years ago, maybe fifteen....and was smacked with a walking stick . literally.

Sorry about that!

The AA school of motoring say they're used to it because road conditions are changing all the time, more pressure of traffic, all kinds of different factors.

About someone else in the car being a distraction - yes, that's so. I went for a course of advanced driving (theoretical) at the civic centre. Our instructor was a former police driving instructor. You should have heard his opinions about people chatting in the car, making conversation, listening to the radio or CD, any distraction at all. We do see some appalling examples of driving within 5 minutes of home - a small market town on the edge of a bigger seaside sprawl. They're not all confined to the older generation by any means! Although, having said that, last week outside the gym I witnessed an older man trying to reverse into a space where you're meant to do 'parallel parking'. He wasn't, just wanted to reverse, and he wasn't being helped by his wife yelling at him. I offered to guide him backwards and even then he didn't get it right, into a space in which you could have parked, literally, a double-decker bus. She screamed at him 'What part of "go straight back" don't you understand?' So he couldn't hear me while listening to her.

I did wonder afterwards, if he was one of those who 'shouldn't be on the road'. Problem is: who would get her to the gym if he wasn't driving? A taxi?

NAR

OP make sure they have a will, sounds from the way they drive it will be read soon. :eek:

lostinrates

NAR wrote: »

OP make sure they have a will, sounds from the way they drive it will be read soon. :eek:

Urge, that's a whole other subject

Yes they have one. Whether I am in it this week or not I neither know nor care tbh . If parent were independent and safe I'd be a lot happier.

NAR

lostinrates wrote: »

Urge, that's a whole other subject

Yes they have one. Whether I am in it this week or not I neither know nor care tbh . If parent were independent and safe I'd be a lot happier.

Know what you mean and if you lived closer I'd be advising removing the car keys. From your description of their driving they are a danger to all and sundry.

lostinrates

NAR wrote: »

Know what you mean and if you lived closer I'd be advising removing the car keys. From your description of their driving they are a danger to all and sundry.

I've been thinking about the distraction thing and being safer when no one else is there. If I recall correctly parent has had four bumps, none of them taphat serious, and pretty well spread out through my life time. There may of course be some I don't know about. But that includes driving in some pretty in hospitable environments and cities and mainly alone or with me as a kid. Maybe it is just a thing of feeling judged. I think I drive better a lone, I know I do most things better alone.

charlieismydarling

lostinrates,

you sound a caring and considerate son or daughter, but really it is not a choice. When it became apparent that an elderly relative of mine was not fit to drive, the family gave an ultimatum, stop or we report to the DVLA.

Cars are a lethal weapon in the wrong hands, it is all very well to say that one knows their limits, but they don't. What about the unforeseen, a child running out, a sudden distraction. Quite frankly it is selfish and inconsiderate and dangerous to continue driving when you are not fit. Just ask yourself what you will say to a parent or relative of someone that your parent knocks down? Is that fair?

The privelege of driving is a privelege and not a right, once that skill starts to lessen it is time to stop thinking of yourself and start thinking of the other people who your continued driving threatens.