Age and driving

lilymay1 · 9 July 2013 at 12:43PM

I can sympathise OP. My 70-something mother shouldn't be on the road either, but what can you do?

margaretclare · 9 July 2013 at 12:43PM

shelley_crow wrote: »

I'm not sure on ages but don't older drivers have to retake their test now at a certain age?

No, they don't. What they do have to do is to renew their driving-licence every 3 years after age 70.

What they could do is do a couple of 'refresher' sessions with a local school of motoring. The AA school of motoring is quite used to doing this. I did it myself with them a few years ago after I hadn't been driving for a while. The other thing is to join RoSPA - it's possible to go out with an experienced and qualified motorist who will point out your faults and suggest ways to improve. Of course, it goes without saying, go for your free annual eye check-up.

DH, aged 78, recently did an assessment with RoSPA and got a bronze award. He's absolutely safe and I've learned a lot from him.

HTH

sweaty_betty · 9 July 2013 at 12:45PM

This is such a difficult one. Many old people rely more on their cars as they get older and less mobile, however the majority of older people I have come across have slower reaction times or worse ability to anticipate problems ahead.

It does make me wonder if there should be some kind of test - perhaps something like the CBT driving test? - when people get to 70. I speak as someone who's older relative was involved in a bad accident, partially attributed to him not thinking ahead/making the right judgment on a road he knew well.

lostinrates · 9 July 2013 at 12:49PM

Pollycat wrote: »

You mention 'one parent' driving.

What about the other parent?

Do they also drive?
If so, what do they think about their partner's driving?
Can't they take over the driving?

If the other partner can't drive, it may be that it's them putting pressure on the driver to continue.

This definitely was the case with my Mum & Dad, he seemed to be 'fed up' with driving but Mum went on at him to keep going.
Exactly the same thing is happening with Mum's sister & her husband.

The bit I find really worrying is this bit:

It took my sister & I a good few hours to have a serious talk with both of them to make them understand that it's not just their safety at risk, it's other innocent people who may be on the roads (or even pavements) at the same time as them.

Once my Mum accepted that it really was time for Dad to stop driving, you could see the pressure lifting from him.

Hope you get it sorted, it's a real concern.

Sorry, just flicking through responses now.

My parents are separated. I should have made that clear.

The parent I am talking about doesn't live with me, the one I am not talking about does live with me. Confusing huh?:D

lostinrates · 9 July 2013 at 12:52PM

Nicki wrote: »

I sympathise. I have the same situation with my mother who unfortunately lives in an isolated village at least 5 miles away from the nearest shop of any kind. I don't even live in the same country so am not around to help with lifts.

I have suggested to her that she move somewhere closer to amenities and dropped very strong hints that her driving days are numbered but she out and out refuses to consider it. To the poster above, I can only offer her my advice and have no power to force her to stop driving, so no I won't feel personally responsible if she kills someone as that is not within MY power to prevent.

She doesn't have to retake her test by the way just have her doctor certify every few years she has no medical issues which would prevent her driving.

Parent moved a year ago. I suggested several really good locations but parent chose this place because it was known and probably because I didn't think it was a great location and also because other parent was moving in with DH and I.

Tbh, we knew then it was going to be an issue and when I raised it then it was probably the clincher in them proving me wrong. Sadly they are proving me right.

lostinrates · 9 July 2013 at 12:54PM

Dunroamin wrote: »

Lots of oelderly people realise their limitations and just run a car to tootle round their local area so, as long as this is what's happening normally, I don't see why this has to be a problem.

My parent wants to tootle around her social circle...a round trip of about 130 miles or so. They accept London is no longer safe for them to drive in and leaves them panicking so drives to somewhere they can park and get a train in. Parent also travels a lot and wants to drive to the airports form their small town with no transport links.

lostinrates · 9 July 2013 at 12:57PM

margaretclare wrote: »

No, they don't. What they do have to do is to renew their driving-licence every 3 years after age 70.

What they could do is do a couple of 'refresher' sessions with a local school of motoring. The AA school of motoring is quite used to doing this. I did it myself with them a few years ago after I hadn't been driving for a while. The other thing is to join RoSPA - it's possible to go out with an experienced and qualified motorist who will point out your faults and suggest ways to improve. Of course, it goes without saying, go for your free annual eye check-up.

DH, aged 78, recently did an assessment with RoSPA and got a bronze award. He's absolutely safe and I've learned a lot from him.

HTH

. It's certainly not a given any one of any age is a good or bad driver

.

I made the suggestion of a few lessons many years ago, maybe fifteen....and was smacked with a walking stick . literally.

Pee · 9 July 2013 at 12:57PM

I had a client who told me she didn't like driving, but the bus service isn't very good around here and she couldn't afford taxis.

I discussed with her the cost of keeping a car on the road and the cost of two taxis a week and on the basis the taxis were cheaper, she said she was going to give the car to her grandson and stop driving.

She did say she had never liked it and we didn't discuss or make any judgement about her age or ability to drive, just purely on a cost basis.

On the other hand I had another client who said his wife had always been a nervous passenger and was always on at him to stop driving, but he loved driving so he took and passed some test which I understood was with the normal test centre.

I honestly drive a lot better when there is noone in the car. Just normal conversation can be distracting and any passengers make me nervous, hence I rarely drive with passengers and therefore get more nervous... vicious circle!

Pee · 9 July 2013 at 1:00PM

Ah, sorry. It doesn't sound like taxis would be an option for 130 miles...

seven-day-weekend · 9 July 2013 at 1:01PM

This is why I would not want to live in the middle of nowhere, especially when I get older. Where I live, I can get most things within walking distance, I can also get easily into my city centre or Birmingham city centre, easily and quickly by free and frequent public transport. I frequently use the bus/train/tram already. If in the future I can't drive, it won't be problem.