Age and driving

lostinrates

floss2 wrote: »

When they are driving around and family see them almost run another vehicle off the road, or regularly hit gateposts or car park walls, that is a problem. Also driving with more than one serious irrevocable eye illness is a major problem.



Most elderly people will have regular dr's appointments. If their GP is aware of concerns it can begin a process.

LIR, does your parent have regular eye tests? Are they diabetic or have any other chronic illness?

No diabetes. Other chronic physical illness fairly well controlled. (Hence regular visits to GP) worn glasses and had regular eye tests since middle aged.

Edit...nothing like any sign of cataracts or anything like that. Night vision has always been hard, even when younger, and parent is has always been very sensible about that.

paddy's_mum

LiR - desperately sad as it is, it seems to me that you DO NOT HAVE ANY CHOICE! You know that your parent's driving ability is deteriorating to a significant degree.

Stop prevaricating and start a process with the DVLA. Do it secretly if you wish to avoid the finger being pointed at you but do it ...

before some innocent bystander is killed!! The bystander might even be you.

You know you must :eek:

lostinrates

paddy's_mum wrote: »

LiR - desperately sad as it is, it seems to me that you DO NOT HAVE ANY CHOICE! You know that your parent's driving ability is deteriorating to a significant degree.

Stop prevaricating and start a process with the DVLA. Do it secretly if you wish to avoid the finger being pointed at you but do it ...

before some innocent bystander is killed!! The bystander might even be you.

You know you must :eek:

I am aware there is no way to avoid the finger being pointed at me. There is no one else at whom to point the finger.

Today parent didn't go out, tomorrow resident parent is 'fetching' for me. I am buying time to come to reasoned conclusion, not just procrastinating. (I am prevaricating here because it is a public forum, and that is only sensible!)

floss2

LiR, if it were my parents or in-laws then I would contact the DVLA or GP to advise of my concerns.

I don't need to worry as both parents have passed on; FiL still drives reasonably safely in his mid-80's, MiL has recently been stopped by doctors due to vision & cognitive issues.

fififoofoo

[/STRIKE]

lilymay1 wrote: »

I can sympathise OP. My 70-something mother shouldn't be on the road either, but what can you do?

really? I think this is a bigger problem. If it is dangerous for a relative to drive we all have a responsibility to tell them they are dangerous and follow it up.

If one of your relatives was seriously injured or killed by another persons poor driving skills would you accept - 'well we knew they shouldn't have been on the road (but failed to do anything about it) '

:eek:

Savvy_Sue

fififoofoo wrote: »

[/STRIKE]

really? I think this is a bigger problem. If it is dangerous for a relative to drive we all have a responsibility to tell them they are dangerous and follow it up.

If one of your relatives was seriously injured or killed by another persons poor driving skills would you accept - 'well we knew they shouldn't have been on the road (but failed to do anything about it) '

:eek:

It actually isn't always that simple. FIL is awaiting renewal (or not) of his licence from DVLA. He has been for months, because he's over 70, needs annual renewal, and has mild dementia.

I never see him drive, so I can't comment or snitch on him. MIL doesn't let him drive without her, she says the basic motor functions are there but he gets very flustered and could easily get lost on his own. Doctors haven't said he can't drive after previous strokes - obviously there's been a time during which he hasn't been able to drive, but after that has elapsed he's had an appointment at which it has been discussed and no-one has said "STOP!"

I don't know what they'll do if his licence is taken away, as he won't remember that that's happened, and won't understand why. MIL will obviously 'lose' the car keys, but I can't see that she'll be able to persuade him to sell the car. Fortunately it's parked off road so tax and insurance won't be an issue. It will just be left to rot, I fear.