Age and driving

red_devil

dads 80 and still driving. its his lifeline, he recently lost my mum as well so needs to get out and about.

he dosent do any long journeys though, its hard to tell people i agree.

Prothet_of_Doom

In my younger days I used to visit my Grandad once a term from university on my Motorbike, and spend the weekend with him.
He would drive me 3 miles to a pub he liked, in 3rd gear (only in 3rd) at 30 mph EVERYwhere. On one occassion we nearly died, so I asked him how much he could see, (Sod all) when did he drive (to the pub, to the Masons, to the supermarket). How he felt when driving (They are all mad out there)
I priced up the cost of his insurance, tax, and petrol, divided it by the number of miles, and he agreed that it would be cheaper to get a return on the bus to the pub, a single bus to both the masons, and suppermarket, and a taxi back both times.
He promised to have his eyes tested and consider my opinion that he was a danger to himself and other people, and that he should give up driving. He was well into his 80's, and was found to have Glycoma, which was the final straw. He sent his licence back, but continued to tax and insure the car, so that visitors (who had cars) could take him out in his car, using his petrol. The local taxi firm, made sure that he always had the same driver, and that he was helped from the taxi into the house with his shopping.
I was personnally thanked at his funeral some years later, by other relatives, for taking on the elephant in the room.
Unfortunately he didn't leave the Allegro to me, and I NEVER got to drive it.
I think we are going to have the same issue with my wife's father soon, and I am about to suggest that his car insurance would be lower if he put his children on as named drivers. This would seem a way forward.

Person_one

What about the IAM? It might not sound as patronising (I know you don't mean it that way but I'm guessing that's how she hears it!) as lessons with an ordinary instructor. I did a course with them a few years ago and most of the 'instructors' are older, retired, but still excellent drivers probably because they update their skills often.

http://www.iam.org.uk/drivers/motorists-courses

joeblack066

lilymay1 wrote: »

I can sympathise OP. My 70-something mother shouldn't be on the road either, but what can you do?

I really hope that the justification for this is more than just your mother being 70 something? I would hate to think that my children spoke about me like this in 20 years time. So depressing.

margaretclare

Person_one wrote: »

What about the IAM? It might not sound as patronising (I know you don't mean it that way but I'm guessing that's how she hears it!) as lessons with an ordinary instructor. I did a course with them a few years ago and most of the 'instructors' are older, retired, but still excellent drivers probably because they update their skills often.

http://www.iam.org.uk/drivers/motorists-courses

Yes, DH went with them but disagreed with them about a few fundamental things. For example, they insist that you must drive up to the legal speed limit, what they call 'making good progress'. So, on an unrestricted road you should drive up to 60 mph. We tried this a few times but on the road surfaces etc made me, in the passenger seat, feel car-sick. He drives at the speed he feels comfortable and is comfortable for his passenger(s), and that doesn't mean 30 mph in 3rd gear (we have an automatic anyway). There was a lot of argument and disagreement. He agrees much more with RoSPA, who are much more flexible and less prescriptive. http://www.roadar.org/

lostinrates

Person_one wrote: »

What about the IAM? It might not sound as patronising (I know you don't mean it that way but I'm guessing that's how she hears it!) as lessons with an ordinary instructor. I did a course with them a few years ago and most of the 'instructors' are older, retired, but still excellent drivers probably because they update their skills often.

http://www.iam.org.uk/drivers/motorists-courses

Honestly ...I don't think my parent is up to it, either practically or temperamentally.

I have been thinking about it and I do think my next step might have to be to phone my parent's doctor, who I know. I know the doctor cannot talk to me, but I can talk to her.

The very depressing thing is I very strongly fear this might lead to an irretrievable breakdown in my relationship with my parent. I am the only family member still in any contact with them and have controlled it very well and I have been proud of the way I have learned to handle my self with a very difficult person who despite a difficult nature is obviously still 'my parent'. I am also aware that at this time might not be the best time for this to take place because there is 'dip' in mental health and a poorly timed action could be ' the final straw'.

Errata

lostinrates wrote: »

Honestly ...I don't think my parent is up to it, either practically or temperamentally.

I have been thinking about it and I do think my next step might have to be to phone my parent's doctor, who I know. I know the doctor cannot talk to me, but I can talk to her.

.

What action do you hope the doctor will take?

lostinrates

joeblack066 wrote: »

I really hope that the justification for this is more than just your mother being 70 something? I would hate to think that my children spoke about me like this in 20 years time. So depressing.

I think that there are seventy *something year olds and 'seventy something year olds'. And sometimes, putting the two next to each other is a terrifying wake up call.

The one will be independent and healthy and and embracing new concepts with good humour, the other......struggles.

I'd say both my parents fall in between. They like the arts, but struggle with some new concepts and are ok with others. They don't take great care of their health. They have some dated concepts and some forward thinking ones (in fact , this parent and I had not spoken for a week before this driving issue because they called the day I had a minor medical procedure and while I was coming out of sedation wanted to engage me in some kind of bigoted rant and I rudely asked them to refrain for a day....that makes me sound a bit put upon where as I do not believe I am)

Anyway, there are stereotypes that some still conform to and that thankfully many are challenging, Especially as most of us will now be working up to around then !


* some one else said seventy not me!

lostinrates

Errata wrote: »

What action do you hope the doctor will take?

I am hoping they will consider it along with other medication and consider whether there is a medical reason they should not be driving.

If not the ball is back in my court.

Old_Joe

Reading many of the posts on this thread at 82 I suspect many of will think the same of me. I wonder what the ratio of accidents/deaths are caused by the older driver compared with many of the younger generations?

What they do have to do is to renew their driving-licence every 3


years after age 70.

Before recently before renewing my driving licence extension the DVLA checked details of my health. I don't know what sort of questions were asked, but being of the hospital but there was no risk, unlike the doctors practice, of any personality influence by me.