Opinion on leaving 13 yr old and 9 yr old home alone while working 9-5?

littlemissbossy

Many, many moons ago my mum worked evenings and left me and my brother (me aged maybe 8 and my bro 4) with my dad, he would then disappear off to the pub leaving us both tucked up in bed with me in charge.

My mum went berserk when she realised what was going on!

WantToBeSE

jetplane, yes i am on JSA at the moment. I will have to do a benefit check, as i didnt realise that i would not be very much better off working full time, i will have a check.

piglet74

no, i wouldnt, for a few hours maybe, but not all day and for 6 weeks,

i was lucky tho, i have 2 great parents who are always helping me out, i understand how hard it is, when my DD was born my hubby give up his job and took a night job so we could both work, it was hard, but we ddint have a choice, the bills didnt stop just because we had a baby

she is 14 now, and we live in a very remote area of Ireland and i still would not leave her on her own all day

apart from anything, what if someone broke into the house etc?

jetplane

OK well ensure that your JSA is covered for the holidays and then when you have a benefit check don't forget to add in the cost of travel and childcare and any other work related expenses and also that although your tax credits would be based on last years income this will change either next year or in year depending on your earnings.

I know where you are coming from though, if you had started a thread saying I'm thinking of not looking for work over the school holidays so I can spend time with my kids I can imagine the replies :rotfl:

alias*alibi

No I wouldn't even entertain the idea. I know I used to be left home after school and during school holidays 20+ years ago but I can't remember how old I was but certainly not 9.

My DD is 8 and would say she's quite mature for her age but the thought of her with somebody 5 years older in a house all day unsupervised would worry me sick; as Nicki suggested the devil makes work for idle hands.

My DD will go in to a holiday club for the afternoons for 2 weeks; with me and OH for a week; a week each with us on our own and her grandparents another week. Unfortunately having kids means having to arrange lives around copious amounts of half terms where childcare should be planned way in advance.

System

If i'd left my kids for that period of time my youngest daughter would have wound everyone up so tight i'd expect blood shed when I came home.

I remember going taking my baby to the doctors and coming back to a house full of kids!

Don't do it.

Blue_Elephant

I think we mollycoddle kids too much!

I think you should be fine leaving both of your children. I won't go into my situation, as it's long and boring, but both my parents worked full time, we were caring for an elderly relative and there just wasn't the time to be worried that I couldn't go and play out with my friends when I wanted. At 9 I was doling out medication Obviously that situation wasn’t ideal and I wouldn’t recommend it!

On the other hand I don’t agree with “babying kids”. I’m not saying don’t let them have a childhood, but they’ll enjoy it a lot more if they know they can look after themselves. There is a really happy middle ground somewhere!

I think that you can provide some structure to their day and it won't be too bad. I also don't think you should leave them made up packed lunches - you can use this opportunity to teach them how to take care of themselves. I understand that you don’t want them using stove/oven, buts what’s wrong with them fixing their own sandwiches or heating soup in the microwave? This would also give them something to do! Also get them involved in doing householdy stuff to teach them and to help you)

So a daily routine could look like this: (I’m assuming that they like lie ins!) Just a random example:


Get up 10am – wash/shower/cold breakfast/get dressed
TV/Xbox/reading/ playing in back garden
1130 phone call from mum checking everything ok and to remind them to have lunch lol
Make sandwiches, grab piece of fruit and drink and eat lunch and wash up
1230 Give them a job each – empty dishwasher/vacuum house/dust the living room/put washing on and then out to dry/change bedding/peel potatoes for dinner etc.
1330 TV/Xbox/reading/ playing in back garden
1500 mum calls home again
1700 kids tidy up and put toys etc away
1730 mums home and kids get to play outside until tea/dinner

I get that it might be a bit boring, but maybe you can finish at 1pm one day a week? And let them both play out/go out with friends etc at that point.

Also can’t one of the 9 year olds' friends’ parents have him for an afternoon/day every so often giving them both a break?

/tuppence.

peachyprice

poet123 wrote: »

I had this too....makes coming home a bit of a trial!! Fortunately now one has moved out and they get along much better now. So, there is light at the end of the tunnel.:D

Oh and the texts when we're way. 'He's got his friend round but it's my turn'. 'He's not doing his washing up and the room is a pigsty' 'He kept me up all night'.

I don't get any of this when I'm there, they just rub along and keep out of each other's way. You'd never believe they were twins, there's no bond there at all.

At least one of them has started talking about going into a house share with his friend :j

red_devil

there is no way i would, and i doubt you would be able to relax anyway and work properly.

Goldiegirl

securityguy wrote: »

Are you seriously suggesting that leaving school at 13 to look after younger siblings would improve people's lives? How many fourteen year olds are thinking "you know, I don't think education or the freedom to play is a good thing, what I need is for my mother to put me in charge of six young children for the next twelve months?"

I wasn't saying anything of the kind.

I was commenting that in times gone past, children were considered old enough to look after siblings at what we now consider to be a very young age.

If you had read my earlier posting on this thread you'd have seen that that I said that I thought that, depending on the 13 year olds maturity, I felt that the older child would be ok to be left on their own, but I felt that it was too much to expect them to be in charge of the younger one

However, it increasingly seems that parents are not allowing their offspring any independence until increasingly older ages.

As recently as 1972, the school leaving age was 15. Yet today's 15 year olds seem to be barely allowed out by themselves, yet 40 years ago they'd be at work. Young people don't seem to have any opportunities for independence, which I think is a shame.