Opinion on leaving 13 yr old and 9 yr old home alone while working 9-5?

poet123

geoffky wrote: »

I am addressing the fears behind why people do not want to do it anymore..Irrational fears

Yes, quite, but leaving aside any issues that you mention (which, rare though they are, it still behooves any decent parent to take account of) do you not think that six weeks home alone, and babysitting to boot is too much for a 13 year old?

onlyroz

Aren't there any holiday clubs available? My son will be spending the summer either at a holiday club or with Grandma - and then two weeks on a family holiday with us. Sounds more fun than being shut in a house all day for 6 weeks.

grey_lady

It's illegal - for all the reasons listed above. I would think MSE probably have to pass on your IP address to the police and social services to check up on a parent !!!!ing stupid enough to leave a 13 year old in charge of a 9 year old full time for 6 weeks.

barbarawright

grey_lady wrote: »

It's illegal - for all the reasons listed above. I would think MSE probably have to pass on your IP address to the police and social services to check up on a parent !!!!ing stupid enough to leave a 13 year old in charge of a 9 year old full time for 6 weeks.

Please quote the law on this.

labp04

Seems to me that he OPs original request was for "opinions" - and there are plenty being expressed. Maybe we can avoid being/getting snotty with each other!

With regards to your question, Spendless, my point re Milly Dowler is that she was ONLY walking home from school and quite close to home in terms of time and distance. So, maybe, just maybe, by leaving what are after all still quite young children, for up to 8 hours a day the level of risk is increased in lots of areas.

Barbarawright, whilst hopefully,grey_lady will be along presently to respond, I'd refer you to my post from yesterday when I suggested a read of the NSPCC website. In short, again, where children are found alone this may be treated as "neglect". This view is based on the 1933 Children's Act which is still law; and which defines what are commonly referred to as Schedule 1 offences. Maybe another consideration based on this same legislation, God forbid, should any harm or injury come to either child, would be part of the same definition which clearly says it is an offence for anyone of or over the age of 16 to wilfully expose a child under 16 to danger.

Now, the scoffers or folk who would sooner close their eyes to possibilities and who hold different perspectives eg "well, I/my kids never came to any harm" etc etc are, again in my view, taking too great risks with not only their own criminal records (being a Schedule 1 Offender is indeed very serious) but, more importantly, the health and well-being of children who depend on them.

barbarawright

I'd be extremely surprised if the 1933 Act was intended to cover a 13 year old and a 9 year old as in 1933. Or the parents of the Swallows and Amazons or Famous Five would have been jailed.

Interesting article on how children's lives have become more and more restricted in the last 30 years

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2013/jul/13/no-freedom-play-outside-children

Threebabes

I will be leaving my 17 (nearly 18), 13 and 9 (nearly 10) year old some days of the summer. I have just started work. Ive worked out it will be about 6 days and 3 1/2 days in total through the 6 weeks. My sister is going to have the 9 year old 2 days a week, the odd week 3 days. Ive a week and a bit off, hubby has 2 weeks off. Needs must...

FBaby

Worrying about children being bored? Being a good parent caring for their children or being a bad parent for over-protective them and not showing them the reality of life?

I think most parents beliefs tend to fall in one or the other. I personally believe that it will help a lot more in the long run to teach kids a flavour of the reality of life, than making them believe that despite difficult times, your own comfort comes before responsibility.

Growing up, I was left on my own weeks after weeks in the summer. I didn't question it, I knew that's what was required for my mum to work and support us. I saw not moaning about it as supporting her. I don't recall being that bored. I wished for a bit of variety in my days, so tried to think of different things to do. I was quite creative in how to entertain myself. I looked forward to the week-ends where my mum made up the time with fun activities, and then at the end of the holiday, she used to take me clothes shopping for the new year and I always look forward to that (spent hours in the catalogues to decide what I wanted).

I grew up very proud of my mum for how she coped with being a single mum and that pride inspired me as an adult and helped me remain strong at difficult times.

Every parent will value different priorities, believing that one is better than the other. That's why there is not one method to parenting. What we should appreciate though is that considering someone a bad parent because they want to bring up their kids with different values to theirs is nothing more than egotistical.

securityguy

barbarawright wrote: »

I'd be extremely surprised if the 1933 Act was intended to cover a 13 year old and a 9 year old as in 1933. Or the parents of the Swallows and Amazons or Famous Five would have been jailed.

I'd be a bit concerned about Hermione Grainger's parents letting her go out at all hours with wizards, too.

duchy

What a lot of posters seem to be missing is that there isn't a blanket "right" answer - some children are very good at entertaining themselves unsupervised without getting into trouble or danger-others not - some siblings get on well and the younger will acceptthe elder willbe "in charge" others -not no much - some eolder siblings would be happy and comfortable with the responsibility - some would resent it.

We don't know what is the case with the OP's children - and what the children are acustomed to. Often in these situations - there is a gradual increase in time left alone but it appears this is an entirely new and complete change for the OP and her family.