Opinion on leaving 13 yr old and 9 yr old home alone while working 9-5?

FBaby

Very pleased too. Your children are going to feel such a sense to achievement themselves from it, what they will gain confidence wise against them maybe a bit bored at time will be more than worth it for them too. And it is one less thing to worry about in the future. Hope your job is going well too.

thorsoak

Good - commonsense prevailed! Glad that its all worked out for you.

My DGD is aged 13. She has had her "babysitting license" from the State of Connecticut since she was 11 - when she went on three 2 hour lessons on basic first aid and commonsense. She is now licensed to look after children from toddlers upwards!

She regularly babysits for one little girl who is coming up for 10 - and is now worried that she will need to look for additional clients!!!

Maybe we've gone too far from commonsense over here!

aliasojo

thorsoak wrote: »

My DGD is aged 13. She has had her "babysitting license" from the State of Connecticut since she was 11 - when she went on three 2 hour lessons on basic first aid and commonsense. She is now licensed to look after children from toddlers upwards!


Maybe we've gone too far from commonsense over here!

What a flipping good idea. Instead of society continually bumping it's gums about how children can't be this that or the other, maybe we should educate them more and enable them to be the responsible little individuals they are completely capable of being.

Each passing generation seems to be growing more pathetic than the last. We've gone from generations where kids either minded ALL their siblings or did physically hard work themselves to a namby pamby generation of softies who can't even be left alone!

It's ridiculous.

As for the last part, I agree.

Counting_Pennies_2

Can I piggy back this thread and ask what the rules are about leaving children at home.

My DS aged 9 often asks if I can leave him in the house while I pick my DD up from a friends a short distance away, and I am always uncertain as to what legally I am allowed to do.

Thanks

balletshoes

Counting_Pennies wrote: »

Can I piggy back this thread and ask what the rules are about leaving children at home.

My DS aged 9 often asks if I can leave him in the house while I pick my DD up from a friends a short distance away, and I am always uncertain as to what legally I am allowed to do.

Thanks

if you live in England, legally you are allowed to do it - if you trust him to be sensible while you are out of the house, then thats your main consideration.

balletshoes

aliasojo wrote: »

What a flipping good idea. Instead of society continually bumping it's gums about how children can't be this that or the other, maybe we should educate them more and enable them to be the responsible little individuals they are completely capable of being.

Each passing generation seems to be growing more pathetic than the last. We've gone from generations where kids either minded ALL their siblings or did physically hard work themselves to a namby pamby generation of softies who can't even be left alone!

It's ridiculous.

As for the last part, I agree.

Really? I don't think thats the case (I think there are kids who are over-cosseted, don't get me wrong, but I don't think thats all kids).

This thread started about a single mum who was considering her choices, and asked if leaving her 13 and 9 year olds in the house all day every day, 5 days a week, 9 hours a day, alone to amuse themselves, was a sensible thing to do. I think its great that she now has a job which suits them all , and has cut down the time the kids are left alone in the house to a manageable morning chunk of time.

I worked most school holidays from the time I was around 7 (farming community) so did all my siblings. We weren't left alone for 9 hours indoors with no adult supervision, and we didn't have the opportunity to be bored because we were working (and being supervised by adults).
Same as when I was 13 and started working part time after school etc - we weren't left to our own devices, we were surrounded by adults.

On school holidays when we weren't working, and the weather was fine, we'd be out all day in the fields/down the beach with cousins, we might not see an adult all day until we came home hungry . If I lived now, where I lived as a child, I imagine thats what my child's leisure time would involve too.

The American babysitting system sounds great to me - again, 13-year olds here babysit, usually for family members/friends, but they don't tend to get the first aid etc training, which I think is a brilliant idea by the way. Babysitters also don't tend to be sitting for 9 hours at a time, day in and day out.

I do read stuff on forums, and hear stuff from friends/colleagues etc, which makes my chin hit the ground with gobsmackiness, regarding how apparently useless their teenagers/young adults are in doing anything for themselves. But in my experience, those are the exception, rather than the rule.

WantToBeSE

Thanks everyone for the support. When i was asked how it all worked out, i was a bit reluctant to post explaining that i leave them for just over 3 hours a day.
Some people are of the thought that children cant be left alone for a second, but i think its really important to teach them independence. They are not babies, they are 13 and 9 years old, and i am treating them as such

To be honest, when i first started this thread i knew it wasn't a good idea to leave them 9-5, but just needed confirmation of that, and for someone to say "it's OK to work part time for the time being". I dont really know why.

cutestkids

thorsoak wrote: »

Good - commonsense prevailed! Glad that its all worked out for you.

My DGD is aged 13. She has had her "babysitting license" from the State of Connecticut since she was 11 - when she went on three 2 hour lessons on basic first aid and commonsense. She is now licensed to look after children from toddlers upwards!

She regularly babysits for one little girl who is coming up for 10 - and is now worried that she will need to look for additional clients!!!

Maybe we've gone too far from commonsense over here!

This seems like a great idea to me wish there was something here that offered this.

OP I am very glad you have found a solution to your work/home balance that seems to work for everyone.

I have a 12 year old and an almost 8 year old, the 12 year old I will happily leave if I am going out for a few hours, this summer I have let him take his younger brother to the cinema a couple of times alone and letting him take him to the park, walk to the shop about half hour away for milk etc, we live in a quiet village so roads are not busy but it is helping both with independence.

FBaby

The more I speak to parents with older teenagers, the more I am convinced we are doing more damage than good by believing that their sense of maturity can't be trusted. The last one was my parents telling me about close friends who are tearing their hair out because their 18 yo doesn't want to come on holiday with them and they don't trust him staying alone at home a week because of what he could be up to. Really???

The other day, it was a friend telling me that she couldn't meet with me as planned because she was taking her 20 yo to a job interview. When I asked where it was, assuming it was miles away, I was speechless when she said it was only a couple of miles away but her daughter didn't want the stress of getting on a bus or walking before getting there.

Then there was another friend who refused to allow her 16 yo to meet up with her dad in Spain because she didn't want to fly on her own.... My 13 year old is travelling on her own to France and back this summer, on BA or AF, children can fly without a chaperone from the age of 12. What a joke at 16???

But I believe that's what happens when we are made to believe that children under the age of 12 shouldn't be left home alone even for a few minutes.

WantToBeSE

I absolutely agree FB.
The thing is, children are not going to have any confidence in their ability if parents don't trust them.