Opinion on leaving 13 yr old and 9 yr old home alone while working 9-5?

themull1

I would and have let my older 13 year old daughter stay at home alone through the day, but my mam only lives two doors down! Younger one no.

Goldiegirl

Glad there's been a good solution.

poet123

I think that often though it is expediency rather than fostering maturity that means some parents allow their teens to do things that other parents would baulk at. If you have a split family then clearly it is necessary for the child to see the other parent, if neither parent wishes to accompany the child on the journey then of course you are going to say "You will be fine"... Having to do something, is very different from wanting to do it.

There is no way I would have allowed my 12 year old to fly alone, yet strangely I have managed to produce functional, intelligent, fearless adults.

kezzygirl

TBH op, I find it shocking that you have asked. What an exciting summer holiday it will be for your kids!!!

send them round to me, I will care for them.

ska_lover

kezzygirl wrote: »

TBH op, I find it shocking that you have asked. What an exciting summer holiday it will be for your kids!!!

send them round to me, I will care for them.

Yes, sending kids round to a complete stranger to be cared for would be so much better than being in the security of their own home...

Kezzygirl your patronising attitude towards the OP stinks. Not everyone has the luxury of not working until their children are adults! We all have our own completely different situations to deal with.

Janey3

kezzygirl wrote: »

TBH op, I find it shocking that you have asked. What an exciting summer holiday it will be for your kids!!!

send them round to me, I will care for them.

Shocking? People do what they have to do to keep a roof over their head and food in their bellies.

Toto

poet123 wrote: »

I think that often though it is expediency rather than fostering maturity that means some parents allow their teens to do things that other parents would baulk at. If you have a split family then clearly it is necessary for the child to see the other parent, if neither parent wishes to accompany the child on the journey then of course you are going to say "You will be fine"... Having to do something, is very different from wanting to do it.

There is no way I would have allowed my 12 year old to fly alone, yet strangely I have managed to produce functional, intelligent, fearless adults.

I'd be really worried about leaving a 13 and 9 year old alone all day as I've said before. Although mostly because it just seemed like a miserable summer for the kids.

That said, we did just send my 12 year old step daughter to her grandparents house in Canada for the summer. She did fly alone, but, we paid extra for the unaccompanied minor service where the flight attendants transport her through security and onto the plane, then they give her a bit of extra attention on the flight. She loved it, she felt really grown up and independent and is having the absolute time of her life over there. There is no way that I'd put her on a train alone though, at least on a flight there is usually only one stop.

poet123

Toto wrote: »

I'd be really worried about leaving a 13 and 9 year old alone all day as I've said before. Although mostly because it just seemed like a miserable summer for the kids.

That said, we did just send my 12 year old step daughter to her grandparents house in Canada for the summer. She did fly alone, but, we paid extra for the unaccompanied minor service where the flight attendants transport her through security and onto the plane, then they give her a bit of extra attention on the flight. She loved it, she felt really grown up and independent and is having the absolute time of her life over there. There is no way that I'd put her on a train alone though, at least on a flight there is usually only one stop.

Not alone then really, but with an adult who could address any issues that arose.

unluckymike

Leaving minors in a house, irrespective how good there are could cause problems.

Say someone dodgy comes to the door, do they have enough knowledge or life experience to deal with it.

I personally wouldn't leave kids that length of time. A few hours but not all day unless they would be getting checked upon by neighbours or other family members.

thorsoak

There was one horrendous summer when I had absolutely no alternative to leaving my four children - then aged 15, 13, 10 and 7 alone at home from 8.30am until 6p.m for a period of three weeks.

If we were to keep our home, it was essential that I earned enough to pay the mortgage. My OH was in hospital, with no salary coming in (and no sick pay either) my MIL (usually our childcare backup) was also dying in hospital and my sisters (living 65 miles away) were all extremely busy looking after my parents who were both extremely ill and also a BIL who was dying with MS .....not a good summer for any of us was 1981.

I just had to trust the older ones to cope with the younger two - my nearest neighbours lived half a mile away. This was of course, pre mobile days and I just had to hope that any phone call I got from them was just the "mum - will you please tell him/her ...".

We survived ...no-one killed anyone, no relationships were scarred, they didn't burn the house down, I had more grey hairs than before - and altogether I think it cemented us as a family - I needed them to pull together as we needed to keep the house and we needed to be able to tell Dad "oh yes, we're managing fine" - even though we had fingers crossed behind our backs!

I think that today people do tend to over-protect their children - I had to take them completely into my confidence - look I just have to go to work as if I don't pay the mortgage, we will be in serious trouble and I do need for you four to behave and pull together. They took me seriously and I felt - and still feel - so proud of them.