Opinion on leaving 13 yr old and 9 yr old home alone while working 9-5?

alias*alibi

Goldiegirl wrote: »

As recently as 1972

Made me smirk, 1972 is the year I was born and I feel ancient but I like your 'as recently as' remark very much... :-)

warehouse

At the weekend I was alone with my 11yo and 7yo, and was considering popping up to the allotment to water the plants and leave them on their own. I decided against it, and mowed the lawn instead.

Halfway through mowing the lawn my 11yo was stung by a bee, (she trod on it with bare feet). The pain was excruciating and she was in a terrible state. I thank God I never went to the allotment.

Goldiegirl

alias*alibi wrote: »

Made me smirk, 1972 is the year I was born and I feel ancient but I like your 'as recently as' remark very much... :-)

LOL, 1972 doesn't seem that long ago to me, I must be really ancient!

joeblack066

This makes me laugh. A few years ago I asked what other single parents of young teens (13) did during the 6 weeks hold for childcare, and was positively ridiculed for even suggesting that a 13yo couldn't be left alone from 8am to 6pm! I was so upset I left the forum for 2 years!
OP, I really do understand how hard it is, I had 3 older boys that I had the same issue with 15 yrs ago, and then DD. IMO 9-5 is a bit long, they could start to wind each other up, but 9-1 is more manageable if you can swing it with your work.

alias*alibi

joeblack066 wrote: »

This makes me laugh. A few years ago I asked what other single parents of young teens (13) did during the 6 weeks hold for childcare, and was positively ridiculed for even suggesting that a 13yo couldn't be left alone from 8am to 6pm! I was so upset I left the forum for 2 years!
OP, I really do understand how hard it is, I had 3 older boys that I had the same issue with 15 yrs ago, and then DD. IMO 9-5 is a bit long, they could start to wind each other up, but 9-1 is more manageable if you can swing it with your work.

I think it's more the fact that the older sibling is effectively looking after a 9 year old which is the issue. Firstly it's not fair to expect a 13 year old to babysit a younger sibling 8 hours a day, 5 days a week for 6 whole weeks and also what sort of holiday are these kids going to have being stuck in the house all summer long?

I agree 13 is an age I'd let my DD stay home alone, but not all day, 5 days a week for 6 whole weeks. I'm sure she'd soon get bored and get up to all sorts of mischief.

Spendless

alias*alibi wrote: »

I agree 13 is an age I'd let my DD stay home alone, but not all day, 5 days a week for 6 whole weeks. I'm sure she'd soon get bored and get up to all sorts of mischief.

Think that must depend on the teen. I can pretty much guarantee that my 13yo wouldn't deviate from the triangle that houses the pc, the fridge and the tv (other than to go to the loo)

alias*alibi

Spendless wrote: »

Think that must depend on the teen. I can pretty much guarantee that my 13yo wouldn't deviate from the triangle that houses the pc, the fridge and the tv (other than to go to the loo)

Yes quite; however my DD is 8 going on 18 and wanting to grow up all too quickly so I know she would push the boundaries. I can hear my mums words echoeing in my ears loud and clear from when I was younger 'don't be in a rush to grow up' which I can see me saying to her. But you are quite right, it all depends on the teen.

itch_for_a_glitch

https://www.gov.uk/law-on-leaving-your-child-home-alone

FBaby

Being a single working mum is all about preparation and
thinking ahead. Instead of focussing on whether you can leave your children alone, you should concentrate on finding what is available. Ask your council about holiday clubs in a 5-10 miles radius. Contact them all and ask if they would be able to take on your children with little notice. Same with childminders. Build a list and keep it. Use the last two weeks of school to talk to other parents and find out whether any would be prepared to have your children one or two days a week and what you could do in return. Go and talk to your neighbours and ask them if they would mind keeping an eye on them. Call your parents and see whether in an emergency (ie. you are asked to start a job immediately) they could come and get them if you went and picked them up a week later. Have you even spoken to your children about the possibility and how they would feel about the different options? There is no point waiting to see what happens and then panic. Starting a new job will be stressful enough, any preparation you can do in advance will be very helpful.

Toto

Blue_Elephant wrote: »

I think we mollycoddle kids too much!

I think you should be fine leaving both of your children. I won't go into my situation, as it's long and boring, but both my parents worked full time, we were caring for an elderly relative and there just wasn't the time to be worried that I couldn't go and play out with my friends when I wanted. At 9 I was doling out medication Obviously that situation wasn’t ideal and I wouldn’t recommend it!

On the other hand I don’t agree with “babying kids”. I’m not saying don’t let them have a childhood, but they’ll enjoy it a lot more if they know they can look after themselves. There is a really happy middle ground somewhere!

I think that you can provide some structure to their day and it won't be too bad. I also don't think you should leave them made up packed lunches - you can use this opportunity to teach them how to take care of themselves. I understand that you don’t want them using stove/oven, buts what’s wrong with them fixing their own sandwiches or heating soup in the microwave? This would also give them something to do! Also get them involved in doing householdy stuff to teach them and to help you)

So a daily routine could look like this: (I’m assuming that they like lie ins!) Just a random example:


Get up 10am – wash/shower/cold breakfast/get dressed
TV/Xbox/reading/ playing in back garden
1130 phone call from mum checking everything ok and to remind them to have lunch lol
Make sandwiches, grab piece of fruit and drink and eat lunch and wash up
1230 Give them a job each – empty dishwasher/vacuum house/dust the living room/put washing on and then out to dry/change bedding/peel potatoes for dinner etc.
1330 TV/Xbox/reading/ playing in back garden
1500 mum calls home again
1700 kids tidy up and put toys etc away
1730 mums home and kids get to play outside until tea/dinner

I get that it might be a bit boring, but maybe you can finish at 1pm one day a week? And let them both play out/go out with friends etc at that point.

Also can’t one of the 9 year olds' friends’ parents have him for an afternoon/day every so often giving them both a break?

/tuppence.

Good heavens, I'd rather go without the few quid a week extra I'd earn not to subject the kids to such a sad summer holiday. I'd much rather they got up and went to play with their friends and generally do what children are supposed to do during the summer months, make memories of a happy carefree childhood.

If they've survived this long on benefits they can manage for a few more weeks surely.