Opinion on leaving 13 yr old and 9 yr old home alone while working 9-5?

Lou67

I feel sorry for you OP. As a mother of young children, you can't win can you?! You stay at home and live on benefits or let your husband 'keep' you, and you're a lazy free-loader, and if you try and earn a crust and forge a career, you are labelled as a bad parent who neglects your children, by pushing them on a faceless childminder or leaving them at home alone! (I don't mean anybody here has said that; just that this is how society treats mums!)

As it's for the six weeks, I am on the fence here, as I think it would be ok' if you were part time (say 2 days a week or only working til 1pm) but to leave them alone from 9 to 5 every weekday and have the older sibling responsible for the younger one is a road I don't think I would go down. Although the wee one is 9 years old and not 18 months old!

What a difficult one! I am totally not sure, but would say that if you have friendly neighbours and relatives closeby who can check on them now and again and you can easily phone home yourself, doing it for the six weeks may be do-able, but it would be better if it were part time.

I think you will worry and panic for the first week, but once you realise they are OK you will be fine. If anything, this could be a good taste of independence for them which will help them in later life. Tricky one. Good luck to you.

mrcow

A couple of days, no problem

But 6 weeks? What a boring, miserable holiday they are going to have Poor things.

Are there no better ideas?

Lou67

Erinnire wrote: »

I would say no, between 13 - the day I left home at 16 I was used as a childcare 'servant' to my parents who left me with children 7 & 9 years younger than me. I spent almost everyday either screaming or crying and cant even begin to tell you how unhappy I was.

I know it is only for 6 weeks but my sisters where awfully behaved as soon as my parents left and the only time they would actually listen to me is when I broke down into tears.

I've been through so much since bad stuff since then and that is still the worst period of my life.

My sisters were younger but you cannot guarantee the youngest will behave when you are away.

That is so sad. I used to know several girls when I was a child/teen in the 70s and early 80s who had 3 to 5 younger siblings and they were made to do all the household chores, washing, shopping, all sorts and were a babysitter for their younger siblings.

I saw and spoke to a few of them later on in life, and they said their childhoods were miserable and two of them left home at 17/18 so they could escape it!

I don't think this will apply with the OP's 2 kids though somehow.

tinkerbell28

Test case, if you like.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-12380329

meritaten

I think I have said this before on Marraiges - back in the 1950s 60s and 70s it was the 'norm' that older kids looked after their younger siblings - even if mum was a SAHM mother. we virtually got chucked out to play in the morning and only expected back for meals! and when younger siblings came along, as soon as they could walk they came out with us! I don't agree with THAT much care - but, I do feel that some responsibility was a 'good thing'.
these days with so many single mums struggling to work and childcare arrangements, its a different world!
I wouldn't in any way denigrate this mum - she has to work to provide for the kids - and as long as she has safety measures in place, then, as I said 'Needs Must'.

Torry_Quine

meritaten wrote: »

I think I have said this before on Marraiges - back in the 1950s 60s and 70s it was the 'norm' that older kids looked after their younger siblings - even if mum was a SAHM mother. we virtually got chucked out to play in the morning and only expected back for meals! and when younger siblings came along, as soon as they could walk they came out with us! I don't agree with THAT much care - but, I do feel that some responsibility was a 'good thing'.
these days with so many single mums struggling to work and childcare arrangements, its a different world!
I wouldn't in any way denigrate this mum - she has to work to provide for the kids - and as long as she has safety measures in place, then, as I said 'Needs Must'.

That certainly wasn't my experience growing up in that time. :eek:

bossymoo

I think it depends on the children. As a 13-14 yr old I used to babysit for a local family, the girl was about 9 and the boy was 4. Mum was sort of a family friend. I would look after them during the day in school holidays whilst mum worked (dad not on the scene).

This was in the late '80s. It was fine, nothing bad ever happened, we had fun, I could easily prepare simple meals, we were within walking distance of a park. Often had their neighbours kids all in the garden to play too.

Wouldn't be allowed these days, but really the worst thing that ever happened was that I didn't always get paid as mum was so skint despite working

I sort of liked my "job". I got to do colouring in and stuff

inkie

No I wouldn't. I have a 14 YO and would not leave her alone for that length of time, maybe a couple of hours, but not all day every for 6 weeks, and certainly not in sole charged a younger sibling. School holidays don't take us by surprise - they are like Christmas, they happen every year and need preparing for.

barbarawright

bossymoo wrote: »

I think it depends on the children. As a 13-14 yr old I used to babysit for a local family, the girl was about 9 and the boy was 4. Mum was sort of a family friend. I would look after them during the day in school holidays whilst mum worked (dad not on the scene).

This was in the late '80s. It was fine, nothing bad ever happened, we had fun, I could easily prepare simple meals, we were within walking distance of a park. Often had their neighbours kids all in the garden to play too.

Wouldn't be allowed these days, but really the worst thing that ever happened was that I didn't always get paid as mum was so skint despite working

I sort of liked my "job". I got to do colouring in and stuff

Me too - I looked after a child a few years younger than me when I was 13/14. We did stuff like go to the park and go swimming and, truth be told, rummage through drawers :eek: but nothing unexpected happened. OP - are there places your children could go to nearby? Local pool, cafes, parks, library etc? Most of this sort of place will have cheap summer activities going on they could take part in.

I know lots of forum members are horrified at the very idea of a 13 year old having any responsibility but most of the world's population would be horrified at the idea that a 13 year old *couldn't' look after a younger child. They *may* have dull holiday (though I *loved* having the house to myself) but they'll have plenty of others that will be more fun

Pnr23

I wouldn't but if needs must then you have to do what you have to do you get shot down for claiming benefits but if you have problems with childcare you shouldn't leave them only you can decide

I would of left my almost 12 year old all day and maybe in charge of my 9 yo for a hour at most but circumstances change ds1 has been diagnosed with a serious life effecting illness
He has been left for up to 5/6 hours but I won't even leave him with my mum this weekend now

So circumstances dictate things before DX I would of left my ds1 at 13 with his 10yo brother for a hour or so would leave the 9 yo now over the almost 12yo
Luckily i don't have to work
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