I thought Id buy you a gift, but didnt.....

Pollycat

poet123 wrote: »

Yes, I think you can, change them and get 3 x face value I think but I am no expert.

You're right!

In that case, This Year should be congratulating her OH for being so MSE by realising he could get her a necklace for 1/3 of the money he'd normally spend in that shop.

TBH, I think the OP has made a mountain out of a very small molehill.

Any

To be honest I completely know where you are coming from OP.
My OH doesn't think of anything by himself either, and I am certainly not going to ask for things. I consider it rude and spoilt to go round asking for things straight out. And while some might say don't be surprised you don't get anything then, to them I say: well, he will be surprised the day I forget to think that he might want some dinner, clean socks, ironed shirts or their mother's Birthday present.

That is what grinds on me - not that I don't get material present, but that I have to think of everything at all times, I think of him even when I go food shopping "oh he likes this, he likes that, I will make him his favourite, he can have this after his exercise.... " and he takes it so automatically, for granted...

Why is it that we are expected to think of them, think for them, care for them, but when we want thoughts (or to be thought of) in return we are suddenly spoiled, nit picking or the best one - gold diggers?
Exact reason I never ASK for anything straight out - you are immediately branded one.

As for saying stupid things.... he once told me at the end of the dinner in front of guests "it was lovely darling, but next time you could buy more expensive meat"...

Is it just me, or would you be upset that he makes you a cheap skate in front of other people?? That he passes negative comment about your what is a lot of hard work while he sits on his a**e in front of people??

But I promise he is a lovely man. But there are just things that can make you want to kill (exaggeration by the way, before someone jumps at me for domestic abuse).

Georgiegirl256

This thread actually reminds of something from when I worked in electrical retail. The iPod Nano's came in a box that when wrapped would look exactly like a ring box. Can you imagine how many disappointed Women there must have been on Christmas Day/Birthdays? :rotfl:

Scorpio33

Jinx wrote: »

I wish Id never stopped to look at them now! lol

I don't care about the earrings.

I just don't understand why you would highlight NOT buying something your other half liked........ why not just keep your mouth shut?

I think at the time, he didn't think about buying them at all, and didn't pick up on the hints at all.

When you got home, he obviously thought about it, realised you were hinting, and thought "oh she will be annoyed that I didn't get them now"

So in him bringing it up he wanted you to know not to expect them as he didn't get them - to save you any annoyances when it comes round to bday / xmas. He also thought well "well its the thought that counts", so then went to say he thought about it (well he did afterwards anyway...).

I think he is doing his best, but in doing so it has had the opposite affect.

This_Year

Pollycat wrote: »

You're right!

In that case, This Year should be congratulating her OH for being so MSE by realising he could get her a necklace for 1/3 of the money he'd normally spend in that shop.

True - but there was nothing to stop him getting the vouchers after I had decided what I liked

(he didn't)

Saying that I love him to pieces despite the fact that I have learned that he doesn't DO any (including his own!) Birthdays, Anniversaries or Christmas. Well he does but only under sufferance. I have to fight to get decorations up at Christmas as he says it's ridiculous. Doesn't stop him eating his fill of the festive grub, though! :rotfl:

Mojisola

Any wrote: »

As for saying stupid things.... he once told me at the end of the dinner in front of guests "it was lovely darling, but next time you could buy more expensive meat"...

Is it just me, or would you be upset that he makes you a cheap skate in front of other people?? That he passes negative comment about your what is a lot of hard work while he sits on his a**e in front of people??

"Next time, darling, you cook!"

Dunroamin

Any wrote: »

To be honest I completely know where you are coming from OP.
My OH doesn't think of anything by himself either, and I am certainly not going to ask for things. I consider it rude and spoilt to go round asking for things straight out. And while some might say don't be surprised you don't get anything then, to them I say: well, he will be surprised the day I forget to think that he might want some dinner, clean socks, ironed shirts or their mother's Birthday present.

That is what grinds on me - not that I don't get material present, but that I have to think of everything at all times, I think of him even when I go food shopping "oh he likes this, he likes that, I will make him his favourite, he can have this after his exercise.... " and he takes it so automatically, for granted...

Why is it that we are expected to think of them, think for them, care for them, but when we want thoughts (or to be thought of) in return we are suddenly spoiled, nit picking or the best one - gold diggers?
Exact reason I never ASK for anything straight out - you are immediately branded one.

As for saying stupid things.... he once told me at the end of the dinner in front of guests "it was lovely darling, but next time you could buy more expensive meat"...

Is it just me, or would you be upset that he makes you a cheap skate in front of other people?? That he passes negative comment about your what is a lot of hard work while he sits on his a**e in front of people??

But I promise he is a lovely man. But there are just things that can make you want to kill (exaggeration by the way, before someone jumps at me for domestic abuse).

While I appreciate the point you're making, it's presumably your choice to keep your husband and his needs at the forefront of your mind all the time. I do it as well but it doesn't really seem fair to complain if he makes different choices.

(Mind you,that comment would make it justifiable homicide in my book!)

Jinx

Scorpio33 wrote: »

I think at the time, he didn't think about buying them at all, and didn't pick up on the hints at all.

When you got home, he obviously thought about it, realised you were hinting, and thought "oh she will be annoyed that I didn't get them now"

So in him bringing it up he wanted you to know not to expect them as he didn't get them - to save you any annoyances when it comes round to bday / xmas. He also thought well "well its the thought that counts", so then went to say he thought about it (well he did afterwards anyway...).

I think he is doing his best, but in doing so it has had the opposite affect.

I think this might be the closest to what happened. I didn't expect to get a gift yesterday so when he said try them I didn't (well you cant) so he wasn't convinced I did want them apparently.

He now realises that saying I was going to buy you something but didn't is not the smartest move and he has made some real gaffes re pressies in the past.

Like others I find thoughtful gifts and spend time looking etc - he gets a business card saying buy this.

I guess if this is all I have to worry about its true, I am lucky. Thanks to all who posted. Especially the person who called me a fruitloop, really made me smile