University Campus or Home?

paulineb_2

Im 44 and when I was a teen there were some people who got straight As and wanted to get into the best uni for their subject, but lots of people didnt have that ability and how do you determine whats the best anyway?
The ones with the numbers of most academic students? Because thats how a lot of universities were determined good when I was applying, they had the toughest entrance requirements.Apart from Glasgow Uni in Scotland, Edinburgh, St Andrews, Strathclyde, Id have been hard pushed to think of the so called best unis. And its different here obviously, we are a smaller country with less universities. But my objective was to get a degree. Of course there are arguments for one degree carrying more weight than another, but that will also depend on the career you want to go into.

There are less graduate jobs I would imagine than in times gone by, less jobs as well full stop. So much depends on where you apply and where accepts you.

For my second post grad as I said before, I went to Paisley University who are I believe the only university in Scotland who offer the post grad in drug and alcohol studies. A lot of people would probably laugh if they asked me where did you do one of your degrees? Paisley.

But I also did a post grad in community education and at that time the places who offered that degree were also the colleges that offered teaching degrees, Jordanhill, Moray House, Northern College.Sometimes its the specific subject that drives you to where you end up, not the university itself, because not every university will offer the subject you want to do.

Also, yes, you are right, she may not know what her career path is. I didnt. At 20 I started a degree in business studies, did 3 years of accounting and economics, never used it, went and did two post grads and then ended up working with addicts and homeless people for the best part of 20 years.

Your career path and your degree dont need to be linked. You can use your degree to do further study and it doesnt always need to be linked to the first degree subject you did.

My view is even if things go pear shaped and they did for me in the beginning, she'll find her own way.

poet123

One of my sons did 18 months of a Business Degree passed all the modules, but hated it. He came back home, worked for nine months, re applied to do English. Now he teaches (and has bought a house 10 mins away from us!!) sometimes it takes a false start to understand where your passion lies.

That said, it is obviously better to get it right first time if possible, but it is not the end of the world if the worst happens.

stebiz

I've been listening to her thoughts tonight and shared a few views on here. She has said again she wants to stay local and once again that she wants the experience. She will be going to accommodation in the first year and may be coming home at weekends/holidays etc. She would also like to study from home in year 2 and 3 and says that she has no intention of living there in year 2 and 3 as she will have her friends and will want to concentrate on her studies. She also has no plans yet to move out.

She shares her room with her sister and the two manipulative 'cows';) have just talked me around getting a loft conversion so she can have her own private space. She'll need it if she is going to party in year 2 and 3 and come in at 3am in the morning. As said in a previous post at 18 she must be treated like an adult and if she can come and go at Uni as she pleases, then she has to be allowed at home.

The loft conversion will not go to waste when she leaves as she has a young brother and I'd use it as an office. Who knows in years to come the grand kids may stay:)

Person_one

poet123 wrote: »

One of my sons did 18 months of a Business Degree passed all the modules, but hated it. He came back home, worked for nine months, re applied to do English. Now he teaches (and has bought a house 10 mins away from us!!) sometimes it takes a false start to understand where your passion lies.

That said, it is obviously better to get it right first time if possible, but it is not the end of the world if the worst happens.

I did a whole degree and worked in the field for three years before I realised it wasn't what I wanted to do! :rotfl:

OP, hardly anybody has their whole future perfectly mapped out at 17.

Person_one

stebiz wrote: »

Who knows in years to come the grand kids may stay:)

Or they might live in Australia, or there might not be any.

Do you have any hobbies or interests of your own at all?

stebiz

Person_one wrote: »

I did a whole degree and worked in the field for three years before I realised it wasn't what I wanted to do! :rotfl:

OP, hardly anybody has their whole future perfectly mapped out at 17.

Oh so your not exactly perfect then. Maybe I can help her from not making too many mistakes. Shame the support wasn't really there for you but I guess you wanted to be Mr Independent.

stebiz

Person_one wrote: »

Or they might live in Australia, or there might not be any.

Do you have any hobbies or interests of your own at all?

I watch Coronation St. Does that count?;)

Person_one

stebiz wrote: »

Oh so your not exactly perfect then. Maybe I can help her from not making too many mistakes. Shame the support wasn't really there for you but I guess you wanted to be Mr Independent.

I have no regrets at all though. Life isn't a straight line, and of course none of us are perfect. Many things bring us to where we end up.

My parents were and are very supportive, but they also knew they needed to let me live my own life, not have it lived for me by proxy. The weight of your expectations could crush her if you're not careful. The daughters of pushy parents with high expectations can have a really hard time with their mental health, please be careful.

paulineb_2

stebiz wrote: »

I've been listening to her thoughts tonight and shared a few views on here. She has said again she wants to stay local and once again that she wants the experience. She will be going to accommodation in the first year and may be coming home at weekends/holidays etc. She would also like to study from home in year 2 and 3 and says that she has no intention of living there in year 2 and 3 as she will have her friends and will want to concentrate on her studies. She also has no plans yet to move out.

She shares her room with her sister and the two manipulative 'cows';) have just talked me around getting a loft conversion so she can have her own private space. She'll need it if she is going to party in year 2 and 3 and come in at 3am in the morning. As said in a previous post at 18 she must be treated like an adult and if she can come and go at Uni as she pleases, then she has to be allowed at home.

The loft conversion will not go to waste when she leaves as she has a young brother and I'd use it as an office. Who knows in years to come the grand kids may stay:)

As I said previously, I think you need to look into whether if its a local university whether she would get into halls. Im sure theres restrictions if shes close enough to travel in but I appreciate she might want to move into a flat.

Tbh, Im not really sure what the point would be in staying away from home in year one and returning in year 2 and 3.

I know its been said that year 1 is a big long party and years two and three is when you put the effort in, but in my degree, if you failed your first year and didnt pass the resits you were out and some people ended up having to take an entire year out because they failed one subject.

Im not trying to say that your daughter shouldnt be encouraged to have her independence, but I think if shes moving into a flat and coming home for weekends, and theres nothing wrong with that either, shes not really moving away, shes just paying extra rent to stay in a flatshare or halls 5 days a week and the money spent, she might be as well staying at home for the duration.

Because if she is close enough to travel in, she'll also be close enough to travel to any of the social events that are on without feeling like shes missing out on anything.

paulineb_2

stebiz wrote: »

Oh so your not exactly perfect then. Maybe I can help her from not making too many mistakes. Shame the support wasn't really there for you but I guess you wanted to be Mr Independent.

Personally, I had massive support from my mum, I just hated my first course, hated the accommodation I was in and wanted to get home.

I also was in a serious relationship with someone from my home town who was also at that college, he was in the year above me and that didnt have any bearing on me going there, I had applied there well before we met, but even him being there didnt keep me there.

Its not always support or lack of it that causes people to make mistakes, it can be a combination of factors. I was incredibly homesick but if I had had a nicer combination of landladies Id have stuck it out. I also really didnt like my course and it was the course, not the subject, because I packed it in and then took a year out and went back to uni and did a very similar degree.

You cant protect people from every eventuality. Sometimes support is about listening to someone when they say, Im not happy and I want to do something else.

As I said before my brother went away at 17 and he loved it. Sometimes you cant actually express what it is about being away from home that isnt right for you, I think at 18, I just wasnt ready to leave home and study, I would probably have been happier from the beginning going to a local university.

But its like anything, sometimes you dont know that until you hit a bump in the road and then realise that a certain path isnt for you.