University Campus or Home?

poet123

stebiz wrote: »

Oh so your not exactly perfect then. Maybe I can help her from not making too many mistakes. Shame the support wasn't really there for you but I guess you wanted to be Mr Independent.

Are they always mistakes though?

As parents we knew our son was doing the wrong degree initially (he took careers advice that a Business Degree would open a lot of doors to him) which was correct, except that he didn't want to go through those doors!! We told him about our misgivings but he was sure he was doing the right thing. As things turned he wasn't, but, and it is a big but, not only did he learn very valuable personal lessons, he learned a lot of skills from doing that degree which stood him in good stead for the next pathway taken.

Life is (hopefully) long, experiences gained are never wasted unless you take nothing from them.

ETA Another example, my Niece was an Accountant, worked in the corporate world for 3 years, hated the backbiting culture, re trained as a Maths teacher and loves her job. Huge salary drop, but she is happy, and still happy that she tried the corporate life.

daisiegg

stebiz wrote: »

Thanks. I can agree with most of that except one thing. Your opinion of Universities. Except for the big two, I think they are ALL equal and only the snobs think of it in any other way - and there are a lot about. If I was interviewing for a job and the two prospective employees had a 2:1 Hons - it wouldn't make any difference to me if they were Bath, Warwick or Manchester.

Unfortunately, I don't think everyone agrees with you. My husband works in the city and they have many, many graduates applying for jobs. They have such a wide pool to look at that they can be very selective. They don't even look at CVs unless they went to particular universities ( obviously Oxbridge and then places like Bristol, Durham, Imperial, Edinburgh etc). Someone who had been to an ex-poly wouldn't get a look in. It may not be fair but it's the way it is and when everyone applying has a first or a 2:1, there needs to be some other way to distinguish them. When asked for advice from young people applying to university my husband always says the first thing to consider is where they go, even over what course to do.

Obviously, this is one experience from one industry, it may not apply everywhere and in every type of job, but just saying...

daisiegg

Dunroamin wrote: »

Choosing three reputable, established universities as examples isn't a fair comparison. Anyone who thinks that there's no difference between, say, Durham, Bolton and Lincoln would need their head examining!

thorsoak wrote: »

You've mentioned three excellent unis in your comment on comparisons ....some of the newer "local ex poly" unis are not viewed as highly by large employers - the subject for which the degree is awarded is as important as the university that awarded it. Some subjects are not valued as highly as others - and a 2:2 degree in one subject from one uni might be considered more favourably than a 2:1 in a different field from another uni.

Agreed - should have read these replies before posting the message I just posted!

daisiegg

stebiz wrote: »

Thanks for all the replies. A lot of good points. I'm not actually stopping her applying to any Universities. She has her own mind when it comes to that and she wants to stay local. What she hasn't decided is whether to stay at home.

I really can understand where some of you are coming from. A great experience by many from what I can see but we aren't rich (not poor either) and there is only so much money to go around.

If she wants cars, insurance, holidays, travelling, accommodation, nice clothes etc etc then something has to give. Now if her choice is accommodation then she needs to understand that the kitty will be pretty bare (not empty) but if she stays at home there is another £140 per week to spare (yes that is their fees incl. food).

I've spoke to her about it a few times today and to be honest she's a bit fed up with it. Half of her wants to go and half wants to stay. I'm going to leave it with her now and let her decide. A year is a very long time.

Where will this £140 a week come from if she stays at home?

daisiegg

stebiz wrote: »

With 40k of debt. More like sink.:(

How? It is not proper debt! Doesn't show up on credit checks, doesn't affect your ability to get a mortgage, gets written off if you haven't paid it after a period of time, and comes out of your wages before you even see them, only when you are earning over a certain amount. My student debt is something like £34k and I pay back around £59 a month. I don't even notice it - I pay more than that in tax and NI and pension contributions. There is nothing 'sinking' about it.

daisiegg

Dunroamin wrote: »

Not really encouraging her to make up her own mind, is it?

Student loans certainly aren't deducted when working out a mortgage, although the repayments (if any) may be. These will be the same if she borrows £20K as if she borrows £40k.

Perhaps people see student loan debt in the way that they do because they understand it better than you?

I didn't have to put student loan repayments on mortgage application forms. In fact, it specifically said not to.

lostinrates

paulineb wrote: »

As I said previously, I think you need to look into whether if its a local university whether she would get into halls. Im sure theres restrictions if shes close enough to travel in but I appreciate she might want to move into a flat.

Tbh, Im not really sure what the point would be in staying away from home in year one and returning in year 2 and 3.

I know its been said that year 1 is a big long party and years two and three is when you put the effort in, but in my degree, if you failed your first year and didnt pass the resits you were out and some people ended up having to take an entire year out because they failed one subject.

Im not trying to say that your daughter shouldnt be encouraged to have her independence, but I think if shes moving into a flat and coming home for weekends, and theres nothing wrong with that either, shes not really moving away, shes just paying extra rent to stay in a flatshare or halls 5 days a week and the money spent, she might be as well staying at home for the duration.

Because if she is close enough to travel in, she'll also be close enough to travel to any of the social events that are on without feeling like shes missing out on anything.

Although I am of a different opinion in the wider discussion to Pauline I think she has excellent points here. I do agree there is little point going to halls and coming home at weekends.

I am afraid the point is immersion and severing the apron strings a little, or a lot.

I have also been thinking something an Mse chum often reminds in threads correlation is not causation. Those that don't do we'll and live at home might just not do well any way.

I think ATM the importance of where your daughter lives if finance is not the overriding issue here (I.e. she can afford it but is making a choice). Is to try and think more about her wobble on course choice today and focus there apthen refocus on where that course is done BEST that she can realistically aim for. If that's local then revisit the issue, and certainly chose a local option as one choice.

The very fact that the local aspect is such a key and having reflected on the other posts that have been brought to mind by posters has given me pause to reflect on what is really the issue here and wonder if any of the advice here is actually useful for you/her at this stage.

Brighton_belle

paulineb wrote: »

Because if she is close enough to travel in, she'll also be close enough to travel to any of the social events that are on without feeling like shes missing out on anything.

I do think (from my own experience) it is the utterly spontaneous, unplanned, unplanable moments that arise out of living away at uni that make the experience unique.
You also have that extra freedom to try (planned or unplanned)events/experiences completely out of your comfort zone that you can't image before you get there, at 17.
I think you can default to playing safe because people/family who know the 'town where you grew up' "you" means you unwittingly and unconsciously self cramp your freedom to try out being someone else for fear of their reaction.

Almo

stebiz wrote: »

Oh so your not exactly perfect then. Maybe I can help her from not making too many mistakes. Shame the support wasn't really there for you but I guess you wanted to be Mr Independent.

I think this is quite an unpleasant reply. You have had lots of advice and some good info on how fees work and how different unis are perceived, from many posters. Yes, you disagree, as is your prerogative but there is no need to sneer at someone for not being perfect or make jibes about them wanting to be independent.

I don't see that doing a degree and starting on one career path, the swapping to another = something bad. I use many of the skills I learned in my first career today, although I no longer work in that field. The days of working in one career for your entire life are in the past for many (most?) people.

Person_one

Brighton_belle wrote: »

I do think (from my own experience) it is the utterly spontaneous, unplanned, unplanable moments that arise out of living away at uni that make the experience unique.
You also have that extra freedom to try (planned or unplanned)events/experiences completely out of your comfort zone that you can't image before you get there, at 17.
I think you can default to playing safe because people/family who know the 'town where you grew up' "you" means you unwittingly and unconsciously self cramp your freedom to try out being someone else for fear of their reaction.

Yep, sometimes the best times at uni were spent crammed into one tiny room chatting for hours and hours, or watching film trilogies in one go instead of studying, or nursing hangovers together, or having misadventures while trying to cook. Its not the organised and planned social events that create those bonds, its the little day to day things that only happen spontaneously in shared spaces.