University Campus or Home?

stebiz

Okay my eldest daughter is getting to that stage where next year she is planning to go to University.

She is a great girl to have around and doesn't really give us any trouble and never has (Thank God).

Her initial course will be 3 years, then another year after that and possibly further study after that.

The University she has chosen is our local one. It is one of the main red brick ones and she is very happy with it. In the meantime others in her year are either starting work or travelling to Uni's all over the place.

If she lived in local digs this would add over 7k a year to her debt - or she would need to find a job (less fun and study time). A thought that has crossed all our minds is that she stayed at home and either pay off some of her debts - potentially leaving Uni with no debt or to spend some on herself.

I went to Uni but never lived in student accommodation. To be honest all my friends who have been to Uni or have good jobs never left to move in digs.

Do you think the experience would be just as memorable leaving with a good degree and no debt or leaving with a good degree, living in digs and also leaving with probably 40k of debt?? If she chooses to work as well she could even buy herself a car or save for a deposit on a house.

Thoughts please!

ps Secretly I'd love her to stay but I won't stand in her way for whatever she decides.

pukkamum

The only ones of my friends to live away when at uni were the ones who went far away.
The ones who stayed at home seemed to do a lot better, a few parents bought them a car to help with the travelling.
I must say though that you need to work out how it is going to work in terms of house rules, is she going to be able to come and go as she pleases etc.

johnswife

Has she voiced a preference? I have three daughters all different experiences.
The oldest had a terrible time away but mainly to personal problems. Now she is living away from home going back to do her final year and is happy.
Middle daughter, the most outgoing, was very homesick which surprised us and spent most weekends at home as she was local.
The youngest will move next year into her second house share and has loved every second especially meeting new friends from all walks of life. She is off to Paris at the end of the month with 3 of them. I can see how it has changed her, grown up and confident.
So I would say try living away, she can always change her mind.

stebiz

johnswife wrote: »

Has she voiced a preference? I have three daughters all different experiences.
The oldest had a terrible time away but mainly to personal problems. Now she is living away from home going back to do her final year and is happy.
Middle daughter, the most outgoing, was very homesick which surprised us and spent most weekends at home as she was local.
The youngest will move next year into her second house share and has loved every second especially meeting new friends from all walks of life. She is off to Paris at the end of the month with 3 of them. I can see how it has changed her, grown up and confident.
So I would say try living away, she can always change her mind.

Her preference is that 'her friends say she should go to Uni digs' but the ironic part is that none of them will be going with her, as they think it is some kind of competition to go as far as possible studying degrees all over the place.

I think she could be persuaded either way but I'm quite relucatant to force my views on her.

midnightraven3

we have 3 major Uni's where we live, so all 3 of ours stayed at home, oldest moved out start of her 2nd year (and struggled TBH), middle is moving out to start next term, her 3rd year, and youngest is still at home having finished his first year. their school friends all stayed at home like this as well, none moved onto campus initially, preferring to flatshare 2nd or 3rd year
it allowed them to find their feet, more financially than anything

CustardAndPickles

What does she want to do?

IMHO the possibility of having to work shouldn't be a prime consideration. Employment during university education is useful for CV purposes - if your daughter is potentially looking at 5 years worth of university, she's going to put herself at a disadvantage sending out a CV with no employment on at the age of 25. Even bog standard shop work adds something.
Likewise the debt is a frightening number but it's a different style of debt to credit card or overdraft debt, so much so that some mortgage suppliers don't even count it in their calculations.

Personally I think that university is a good chance to start spreading one's wings and stepping into your own life - your friends are doing it at the same time and you learn life skills fast and hard in a way that you won't living at home by going through that.

stebiz

midnightraven3 wrote: »

we have 3 major Uni's where we live, so all 3 of ours stayed at home, oldest moved out start of her 2nd year (and struggled TBH), middle is moving out to start next term, her 3rd year, and youngest is still at home having finished his first year. their school friends all stayed at home like this as well, none moved onto campus initially, preferring to flatshare 2nd or 3rd year
it allowed them to find their feet, more financially than anything

That might be the answer. I asked her last week and she said if she had another couple of years at school, then she would have felt ready but 12 months felt a bit soon. That way she could leave when ready rather than when she feels she has to.

mrcow

My university days (and most of my friends') involved lots of sex, alcohol, partying and clubs in addition to the hard work.

As long as you're fine with that, let her live where she wants to.

She'll be 18. i.e. an adult who is old enough to make her own decisions. As a parent, you should let her make her own life choices without putting some sort of spin on it regarding the money, just because you'd prefer for her to be at home.

You shouldn't stifle her.

lika_86

Campus would easily win for me, especially in the first year when everyone will be in the same boat finding their feet. Halls organise loads of social events and it's an amazing chance to find a diverse group of friends that aren't necessarily on her course.

I must admit though that my university years were amazing and I know I wouldn't have had the same experience if I'd been living at home (not that I could have with the university I went to being too far from home).

Moving out is a big thing but better to start preparing her for the big world outside the family nest rather than preparing her to stay at home. You might get a call from the supermarket to ask about the difference between bio and non-bio washing powder (my mum did) but she'll have a better experience for it. She's going to be local in any event so won't be in at the deep end with getting used to a new city too.

What about you? If she lives at home, are you prepared for her to come rolling in at whatever time she wants after a midweek night out? Are you prepared for her to potentially be up at unsociable hours?

My 14k debt was entirely worth it.

tonycottee

I stayed at home when I went to Uni. In some ways I do regret it.
I missed out on a lot of the social aspect and the general student lifestyle. Going away seems open up a lot more opportunities for people, and give them more confidence. I went to a Grammar school, so the majority went off to Uni, and I seem to be one of the few that have stayed in my home town.

That said, I was able to work part-time (full-time during the summer) at my local supermarket, and the only real expense my parents had were my tuition fees. When I finished, I had enough money for a deposit for a house. I would also not be with my wife if I'd gone away.

However, if my kids choose to go to Uni when they're older, I think I would recommend they go away - even though it will cost me a fortune!

burnoutbabe

Most of us at 18 don't feel "ready". But Uni halls is a safe easy option, and its where you make the friends who you then flatshare with in years 2 and 3. if she stays at home, then she misses out on a lot of that.