University Campus or Home?

stebiz

CH27 wrote: »

How will your daughter make friends if she is only there for lectures?

I do understand about saving costs as my boy will end up with £45k debt.

She does have lots of local friends. I'm not disagreeing with you but is it really worth her (or in your case him) being saddled with so much debt.

mrcow

She doesn't have to make any decisions until next summer. Overthinking it now isn't really going to get her anywhere.

As for the money, the majority of people take out student loans if they want to. The cash doesn't have to come up front and it doesn't have to come from you unless you want it to.

lika_86

angelil wrote: »

But it's not just 14k these days. You're talking 9k a year of tuition fees so that's 27k for a 3-year course before you even think about living costs.

I'd have paid three times what I did for my experience (and inad compulsory post grad study to fund). I grew more in three years in every way than I would have in a lifetime spent at home.

SuzieSue

I think that it really depends on her personality. I went away to university but I was one of the few people who stayed in halls for all 3 years mainly because I didn't like the idea of a house share. Of my 3 close friends, 1 stayed in halls for all 3 years like me, another lived at home for all 3 years and the 4th couldn't wait to get out of halls and lived in a house share for her final 2 years.

None of us regret what we did because it suited our personalities. Neither me nor my close friends had a wild time at university because we weren't like that to start with and being at university didn't change us.

I know that tuition fees etc have made the decision more difficult (in my day I got a full grant and it made very little difference whether I chose a university close to home or not), but I would suggest that your daughter spends the first year in hall and then she will be in a position to decide what she wants to do in the following years.

I think that it also depends on how common it is for people to live at home. When I went, my friend was the only person I knew who lived at home, and although it didn't bother her, it did mean that she missed out on certain things. If it is now more usual for people to live at home then it won't be such a problem for your daughter.

However, I can understand your concern about debt and obviously, it would be much cheaper for her to stay at home.

stebiz

lika_86 wrote: »

I'd have paid three times what I did for my experience (and inad compulsory post grad study to fund). I grew more in three years in every way than I would have in a lifetime spent at home.

But you could quite easily say that about travelling in a gap year or by buying a house and moving in with a boyfriend.

What did you learn (outside of education) at Uni digs that you won't learn anyway at 18.

Already she's starting to use a debit card. Getting familiar with bank accounts. I've asked her to help sort out the family holiday as she's off school now until Sept. She's also doing some volunteering.

Her main gripe is that concerts etc that she'd like to go on she can't because most of her mates are skint. Not something that is likely to change when she gets to Uni.

stebiz

SuzieSue wrote: »

to decide what she wants to do in the following years.

I think that it also depends on how common it is for people to live at home. When I went, my friend was the only person I knew who lived at home, and although it didn't bother her, it did mean that she missed out on certain things. If it is now more usual for people to live at home then it won't be such a problem for your daughter.

1 in 4 at Uni now live at home.

lika_86

stebiz wrote: »

But you could quite easily say that about travelling in a gap year or by buying a house and moving in with a boyfriend.

What did you learn (outside of education) at Uni digs that you won't learn anyway at 18.

Already she's starting to use a debit card. Getting familiar with bank accounts. I've asked her to help sort out the family holiday as she's off school now until Sept. She's also doing some volunteering.

Her main gripe is that concerts etc that she'd like to go on she can't because most of her mates are skint. Not something that is likely to change when she gets to Uni.

I learnt to fend for myself:

- how to manage my time and get up myself in a morning (without the safety blanket of my mum shaking me awake)
- how to do all my washing and not turn things pink
- how to properly budget (not just short-term but for a whole semester of expenses)
- how to be in adult relationships including having sexual relationships like a grown up (ie not having to sneak around when parents aren't in the house and the ability to have casual relationships)
- how to look after myself in terms of both safety and alcohol tolerance

Most importantly, I learnt who I am when I'm on my own and just me, not surrounded by family and friends but who I am at my core. I know I can cope in any situation now, which at 18 was a big lesson to learn.

mountainofdebt

OH went to our local Uni (many many moons ago) and for his first year lived at home and has always said that if he had his time over, he would have stayed in halls that year as that is the year when friendships are formed and that you do tend to socialise more than in other years.

2nd year he stayed in halls and the third year we had private accommodation.

Would it be an idea to see what the Uni's cancellation policy is on accommodation? I know in Junior's Uni you could leave the accommodation so long as you gave 6 weeks notice.....if her's is the same then she could go into halls see how she gets on and if it gets all too much she can come home.

Personally I would go for the halls but that's just my choice

stebiz

lika_86 wrote: »

I learnt to fend for myself:

- how to manage my time and get up myself in a morning (without the safety blanket of my mum shaking me awake)
- how to do all my washing and not turn things pink
- how to properly budget (not just short-term but for a whole semester of expenses)
- how to be in adult relationships including having sexual relationships like a grown up (ie not having to sneak around when parents aren't in the house and the ability to have casual relationships)
- how to look after myself in terms of both safety and alcohol tolerance

Most importantly, I learnt who I am when I'm on my own and just me, not surrounded by family and friends but who I am at my core. I know I can cope in any situation now, which at 18 was a big lesson to learn.

I'm not disagreeing with you but

(i) We never have to wake our daughter up. She uses an alarm.
(ii) Washing might be an issue;)
(iii) Budgeting would be something she'd have to do anyway
(iv) Sex and alcohol is something surely we all encounter as we grow up. It doesn't make students any better because they learnt it at Uni.

I'm not for one moment saying it is the same experience as being at home. I'm just not sure it is that important to learn these life skills so quickly. She can learn them as she goes along - more importantly when she wants to rather than her getting pushed into it just because she's started Uni.

mountainofdebt

stebiz wrote: »

1 in 4 at Uni now live at home.

I was ear wigging a conversation between 2 people once and one of the people was saying that most of his students were now opting for the local uni and staying at home. He then continued to say that it was a shame as he considered the leaving home to go to uni as a right of passage.