University Campus or Home?

Dunroamin

stebiz wrote: »

I was going to let this lie but things have developed a little.

My daughter has come back from work experience in a placement with a Psychology unit and was shocked by what she came across. I won't go into detail but it involved human excrement being spread on all the walls of the room she was based in. She isn't even sure if she wants to follow that career path now, although she may well do and just shows how quickly they can change their minds.

This is exactly what I mean about her not being ready. The last thing I want is for her to start a course and then have to leave it half way through. Like most will know there is no finance for a second degree so she needs to get on the right course first time round.

She hasn't been offered a place as it is next year but we have spoke to the University and they say that all students with ABB will be offered a place and she is on target to achieve this.

Assuming she was planning a career in clinical psychology, it would be intersting to know what she was expecting. Has she seen a professional careers adviser yet?

lostinrates

Person_one wrote: »

Yep, sometimes the best times at uni were spent crammed into one tiny room chatting for hours and hours, or watching film trilogies in one go instead of studying, or nursing hangovers together, or having misadventures while trying to cook. Its not the organised and planned social events that create those bonds, its the little day to day things that only happen spontaneously in shared spaces.

And also not the drinking and partying as keeps being referred to.

Yes, learning limits is part for some, and too many, but more so for those too comfortably cushioned. Those of use who had to work to support ourselves (harder now I know) were more focused I think....though we played, we also worked hard. Failing first year was not an option for me either, I had my eyes set on a particular award and everything counted.

MrsDrink

I have PMed Stebiz to talk in more detail about my undergrad experience which I think is similar to what his daughter is looking at but I wanted to say this here:

I did a psychology degree thinking of going into Forensic Psychology, realised that I couldn't work in that field, went off on a complete different tact (secondary teaching). 2-3 years down the line I ended up merging the two, the experience of work and my knowledge from my degree, and pursued the Educational Psychology route. Unfortunately I didn't manage to follow that career path so I went into special needs teaching. 4 years later the service I was working for was axed and I'm now a primary teacher. My career path has been very windy and varied but without any of the steps I wouldn't be where I am today (happy).

So not all 'mistakes' are wrong.

paulineb_2

Brighton_belle wrote: »

I do think (from my own experience) it is the utterly spontaneous, unplanned, unplanable moments that arise out of living away at uni that make the experience unique.
You also have that extra freedom to try (planned or unplanned)events/experiences completely out of your comfort zone that you can't image before you get there, at 17.
I think you can default to playing safe because people/family who know the 'town where you grew up' "you" means you unwittingly and unconsciously self cramp your freedom to try out being someone else for fear of their reaction.

The thing is though, as you have said, its all about experiences. I tried it. Hated it. My brother tried it and loved it. Its personal.

As I said before, if my living away from home situation had been different, if I hadnt ended up in digs living with someone who was in the middle of a major divorce/breakdown, then my life would have been different. I didnt just up and run after a few weeks, I stayed away from home for the best part of a year, I completed the first year of my course. It wasnt being away from my family that made me unhappy, they were 50-100 mins away on the train depending on how slow a train you got. I just knew by the end of the first year I had had enough and I didnt want to go back.

My family didnt pressure me either way, not to go in the first place or to come home, I just got support.

Also, my brothers experience at uni was somewhat derailed by illness, he had glandular fever at the end of his first year and he was quite ill and relapsed and he actually didnt make it as far as his honours year due to illness, he got his degree though. In conversation with him a few years later, he said that he didnt like his course either (he did a BA in social sciences), but he made a lot of friends very quickly, he had a good support network up there, he was in halls for year 1 and then moved into flatshares.
Sometimes I think its easier for boys because I recall going up with him to uni, dropping him off and then 45 minutes later he was out playing football with people he had met.

On reflection, I am really happy that I stayed at home, because the relationship I was talking about above crumbled, I was heartbroken and it was the friends who I had at home who actually got me through that year, I did nothing that year apart from do a couple of more highers and go out with my friends and I really needed that.

And when I did my degree, I had friends at home, I had friends at uni. I dont think I missed out on anything very much apart from living in a shared flat.

Other people will have such fantastic experiences living away from home that they wouldnt have missed it for the world. For me, at 18 I just felt too young to be living away from home. Out of all my friends at secondary school, two of us ended up getting degrees.

One went to work in a bank straight from school, two went to work in insurance companies, one went to work as an accountand for a car dealer Some are still in the same jobs over 25 years later. In a parallel universe I might have gone away from home and absolutely loved it, but I didnt and I did the right thing for me.

Its one of those scenarios where you really dont know how things are going to pan out until you get there. I know lots of people who stayed at home and did their degree and I know lots of people who went to London as soon as they got the offer/opportunity.

The end result for me was that Im quite happy that despite having a crap time initially that I got on with it, got my degree and had some fun along the way. Who knows if Id have had more fun in another time and another place, but I dont regret anything.

I think you are right in that a year is a long time away and she might change her mind every single week until then.

MrsDrink

(and we had to pass our first year)

Person_one

MrsDrink wrote: »

(and we had to pass our first year)

I think everybody has to pass their first year, its just that the grades don't count towards your final degree classification. It gives students a chance to settle in, both socially and academically, as both can take a while to get used to!

MrsDrink

Ah yes you're right - lol thats why I ignored that part of the discussion the first time round.

poet123

I did a Psychology degree too, for the sake of it, not with any particular career in mind. At that point I wasn't in a position to undertake full time work anyway. later I did a further, more vocational degree, and from there I followed a very similar path to the above poster, MrsDrink, and now I lecture and have a pastoral care role for SEN students.

Life changes, evolves, and that is good.

paulineb_2

Person_one wrote: »

Yep, sometimes the best times at uni were spent crammed into one tiny room chatting for hours and hours, or watching film trilogies in one go instead of studying, or nursing hangovers together, or having misadventures while trying to cook. Its not the organised and planned social events that create those bonds, its the little day to day things that only happen spontaneously in shared spaces.

Again, thats positive and personal to you. But there are Im sure tales of people who have moved away from home and ended up in the flatshare from hell.

So many people have different experiences, some people who study dont go to uni until they are in their 30s or 40s and arent interested in the social aspect too much.

Some will have kids and wont be able to commit too much time to socialising. And all power to people who had great times and made lifelong friends. So did I, I just didnt share their living space.

The people who went away can only speak from their own experience and that of their friends and the people who stayed at home, same.

Thats why try it and see and if it all goes pear shaped life still goes on is fair enough.

Theres no way of knowing how the OPs daughter will like staying away from home until she gets there. But as I said earlier, if shes moving away from home, I think shed be as well moving some distance away and not 20 minutes down the road.

Person_one

paulineb wrote: »

Again, thats positive and personal to you. But there are Im sure tales of people who have moved away from home and ended up in the flatshare from hell.

So many people have different experiences, some people who study dont go to uni until they are in their 30s or 40s and arent interested in the social aspect too much.

Some will have kids and wont be able to commit too much time to socialising. And all power to people who had great times and made lifelong friends. So did I, I just didnt share their living space.

The people who went away can only speak from their own experience and that of their friends and the people who stayed at home, same.

Thats why try it and see and if it all goes pear shaped life still goes on is fair enough.

Theres no way of knowing how the OPs daughter will like staying away from home until she gets there. But as I said earlier, if shes moving away from home, I think shed be as well moving some distance away and not 20 minutes down the road.

Of course other people have different experiences, but while others can be equally (or more) positive in their own way, young adults really only get one shot at experiencing the sort of thing I posted. Its unique, it doesn't happen like that in any other scenario.

If they don't enjoy it, if the good stuff doesn't happen for them, then they can do something different instead, but at least they'll have had the chance at the one time in their life when they could.

A girl I shared my halls with was miserable at uni and left at Christmas, another in a friend's flat left after one night! There's no shame in that, its not for everybody, but they took the chance.