University Campus or Home?

NervousHomeowner

You say that you aren't influencing your daughter & want her to do what she wants, but your behaviour seems to indicate otherwise!

You say you care about minimising her debt but you have mentioned her living at home & still taking out the maintenance loan and saving it, in which case she isn't 'minimising debt', she's just putting herself into debt for different reasons. You also mention that you think she should live at home because she wants to travel. Most people I know who lived away from home still managed to do plenty of travelling, because they saved during the year, worked part time & travelled on a shoestring budget.

From the point of view of someone who commutes to uni (But I don't live with parents, I live with my partner) I think it is advantageous for most students to live away from home for the first year at least. If your daughter doesn't enjoy it, she only has to stick it out for a year & then she can move home. However if she lives at home for the first year with the intention of moving out later, she may find it more difficult as most people I know moved into their second year accomodation with people they met in halls, and started arranging their accomodation very soon after starting uni.

Furthermore, if she is worried about 'not being ready' it will probably be easier for her to go from living at home to living in halls than it will be to go from living at home to moving into private accomodation. Although she'll be living away from home, halls is still a somewhat controlled environment - there is usually someone on call in case of emergencies or problems with house mates, you don't need to worry about bills or learning to take care of a whole house and there is usually even the option to go for catered if you're worried about her eating healthily or knowing how to cook enough meals to last a week. It is a good way to learn to move away & become independent without dropping them off the deep end immediately. A lot of my friends who were shy or thought they weren't ready for uni found that halls helped them to spread their wings & become more independent.

And all of this is coming from someone who chose not to live in halls and doesn't actually like halls at all so I'm not even biased!

totallybored

I feel quite sorry for this poor girl. It's obvious OP wants her to stay at home and is influencing her decision. This is an almost adult who had parents who couldn't bare her to go on a 2 week holiday with the girl guides! If you're going to go on holiday as a 17 year old it doesn't get much safer than with the girl guides, it's hardly an 18-30 to Magaluf sleeping with anything that moves.

I really don't understand what is so bad about her living at uni. According to OP it's in the same city so it's not like she's on the other side of the world. Let her have some independence. The money and student debt seems to be an excuse to hide behind for the OP, he's said in previous threads that the money isn't a problem. I think the OP needs to just step back and remember this is a life changing decision that isn't about his life and isn't his decision to make.

Wyre

OP if this truly about safeguarding her finances and you can afford to have her live at home at your cost, you can afford to pay her costs while living away and thus save her the need to take out extra loans. Grants and bursaries are COMPLETELY different aren't paid back whether you live at home or away from it. Then she would only have 27k to pay back...

~Chameleon~

lika_86 wrote: »

I learnt to fend for myself:

- how to manage my time and get up myself in a morning (without the safety blanket of my mum shaking me awake)
- how to do all my washing and not turn things pink
- how to properly budget (not just short-term but for a whole semester of expenses)
- how to be in adult relationships including having sexual relationships like a grown up (ie not having to sneak around when parents aren't in the house and the ability to have casual relationships)
- how to look after myself in terms of both safety and alcohol tolerance

Most importantly, I learnt who I am when I'm on my own and just me, not surrounded by family and friends but who I am at my core. I know I can cope in any situation now, which at 18 was a big lesson to learn.

All those things are entirely possible for a teenager to learn whilst living at home if given sufficient independence

stebiz

totallybored wrote: »

I feel quite sorry for this poor girl. It's obvious OP wants her to stay at home and is influencing her decision. This is an almost adult who had parents who couldn't bare her to go on a 2 week holiday with the girl guides! If you're going to go on holiday as a 17 year old it doesn't get much safer than with the girl guides, it's hardly an 18-30 to Magaluf sleeping with anything that moves.

I really don't understand what is so bad about her living at uni. According to OP it's in the same city so it's not like she's on the other side of the world. Let her have some independence. The money and student debt seems to be an excuse to hide behind for the OP, he's said in previous threads that the money isn't a problem. I think the OP needs to just step back and remember this is a life changing decision that isn't about his life and isn't his decision to make.

Just hang on a minute. I have been to Uni and I'm sorry but I just don't buy this life changing decision lark. Degrees are ten a penny now. In fact it's hard trying to find somebody who hasn't got one.

The fact is after these 3 years she has to fund a post grad course which is in another City. They don't do it here. No loans to hide behind then. So she needs some money to either invest in a property (if she wishes) or to rent for 10 months. She is leaving. She hasn't really got a choice if she wants to get her Doctorate.

stebiz

Wyre wrote: »

OP if this truly about safeguarding her finances and you can afford to have her live at home at your cost, you can afford to pay her costs while living away and thus save her the need to take out extra loans. Grants and bursaries are COMPLETELY different aren't paid back whether you live at home or away from it. Then she would only have 27k to pay back...

I understand (I may be wrong) that in order to get the maintenance grant she needs to get the loan also. My nephew did his degree and has just graduated. He saved his fees up whilst living at home. Different Uni as we have 3. He got the train/bus each day.

Wyre

Nope according to this https://www.gov.uk/student-finance/loans-and-grants
any grant she gets just reduces how much loan she can get.

Dunroamin

stebiz wrote: »

As my wife does not work she will be eligible for approx 7k which she could save. She is looking for a small local job which she could live off, bearing in mind she won't have to pay for rent or food.

But that's the maintenance loan and the grant; I thought she wasn't taking out the loan?

totallybored

stebiz wrote: »

Just hang on a minute. I have been to Uni and I'm sorry but I just don't buy this life changing decision lark. Degrees are ten a penny now. In fact it's hard trying to find somebody who hasn't got one.

The fact is after these 3 years she has to fund a post grad course which is in another City. They don't do it here. No loans to hide behind then. So she needs some money to either invest in a property (if she wishes) or to rent for 10 months. She is leaving. She hasn't really got a choice if she wants to get her Doctorate.

You seem to have her whole life mapped out for her. If degrees are ten a penny just chain her to the kitchen now and don't even let her go to uni.

stebiz

Wyre wrote: »

Nope according to this https://www.gov.uk/student-finance/loans-and-grants
any grant she gets just reduces how much loan she can get.

The calc

At home
£9,000 Tuition Fee Loan
£2,698 Maintenance Loan (for living costs)
£3,354 Maintenance Grant (for living costs)

plus 1k bursary

Away

£9,000 Tuition Fee Loan
£3,823 Maintenance Loan (for living costs)
£3,354 Maintenance Grant (for living costs)

Halls are £140p/w